Read "On the Road Alone"

Written by Sheng Fu Word Count: 2902

I've read it before, and I've written a humble essay with the title of "A Man on the Way". Reading it again this time, there are two major realizations. First, through this article, you can have a more comprehensive understanding of Yu Dafu; The second is to arouse some personal touches and a little thinking from life and death.

The whole text is full of a sad tone, mainly expressing deep love for the early death of the child Long'er, and there is no lack of remorse. It also shows a microcosm of Mrs. Yu Da's wandering in her life.

This article, so to speak, was written for Long'er. At the same time, the kind of displacement on the way can be said to be worse, and the house leak coincides with the miserable situation of overnight rain. For life and family, carrying the ideal ambition of life destiny, walking on the vast road is enough to bear, not to mention that such a funny child died.

Yu Dafu

The article was written in a hotel in Shanghai on October 5, 1926, four months after Long Er's death.

When he received a telegram that Long'er was seriously ill, he hurried back from Guangzhou and arrived at his home in Beijing, when Long'er was already dead. Long'er called his father at the end, wanting to see his father, hoping that his father would come back, but he couldn't, even if it was a five-year-old child, he would have regrets. Yu Dafu didn't see the child for the last time, returned to his apartment in Beijing, and saw the white note on the door, and the mood at that moment was probably difficult for the person concerned to understand.

Thinking of the scenes when Long Er was alive and alive, it really made me want to cry without tears.

In June of the year I lived in Shichahai, my family was walking on the embankment, and when the little child saw someone's car, he cried and wanted to sit, and I beat him up. On another occasion, he was beaten again because he wanted to wear a dress. When I think about it, I only blame myself for not being capable. Saying that he knew that Long'er would die early, even if he was a pawn robbery, he had to satisfy his innocent desires, and in retrospect, he was only sorry for the child.

Normally, relatives are good to each other, but they are always unhappy and even resentful because of various conflicts in real life, but once one party suddenly leaves, I feel that I was at fault at the beginning, sorry, and regretful. Even if later people understand this truth, can understand this emotion, and want to be tolerant and generous, let go of understanding, but when they return to reality, they can't do it. Alas, regrets and regrets in life always seem inevitable.

Because of the remembrance of the relics of Long'er's life, he asked the woman to move back to Shichahai Residence with herself to live in it for a month or two. Perhaps, in the eyes of outsiders, it is taboo to have a house that has died. But for loved ones, it is not affected at all.

Back to the former residence, as soon as I entered the door, I saw a lantern that was broken by the dragon in the New Year, and I thought that he cried because the lantern was broken, how could he not see things and think about people and feel sad.

What's more, there are two jujube trees and a grape in the yard. "Last year, when he was collecting grapes and dates, he stood under the tree, put on his coat, and looked up at me on the tree. I picked one and threw it into his coat pocket, his laughter will continue until three or five minutes, this year these two jujube trees, full of green jujubes, in the middle of the night when the wind rises, there are always ripe jujubes falling by themselves, women and I, sleeping in bed, sometimes crying and talking, always until deeper silence, can sleep. In the middle of such a quiet conversation, what I am most afraid to hear is the sound of falling dates."

Reading this paragraph, the situation jumps on the page, and it goes through the scenes, which makes people tearful.

Perhaps, some people ask why the child has not seen each other in the end for more than a month from the onset of illness to his death? What remorse is what, the words are all fake. However, if you don't have that kind of feeling, how can you write something that is so moving?

Let me ask if everyone in the world uses actions to express the realization of ideals and love, and have they all achieved it? Is action the only answer? In my opinion, it's hard to have both.

There is a plaque on the lintel of the main hall on the second floor of the former residence of Yu Dafu in Fuyang, which is the four words "elegant and elegant" written by Feng Zikai. The commentary specifically states that it refers to Mrs. Yu Da's elegance and romantic article. It does not mean that people are romantic, and the articles are elegant. I think that's the right interpretation.

Some people think that he is romantic because some of Yu Dafu's works are exposed, and even scolds him for being a scumbag because he has three wives and another lover.

The exposure of the work is the true expression. Do you dare to do that? Don't be sanctimonious and say and act dirty, steal men and prostitutes, but stand on the high ground of morality to force others. What qualifications does such a person have? Such people are hypocritical and despicable.

It was not uncommon to have three wives in those days. This is stronger than Kang Youwei, who advocates monogamy in his mouth, but he has married six wives. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. In this regard, Kang Youwei is just a hypocrite. What's wrong with having a lover? You and I are willing, and you are in love. Take the current society as an example, that Zhang Whatzhong, seventy gray hair, still marries a wife, and there are more juniors and two wives. Why is Shan Yu Dafu a scumbag? I think it's the jealousy of the bad world.

The key is that Yu Dafu is a patriotic martyr, saving overseas Chinese, fighting through articles, and being unswerving in the national righteousness and national position, which is a valuable quality. Besides, people's articles are just well-written and really talented. Those who can work hard, what are the three wives, they are willing to be women, and there is no rape and kidnapping.

"Alone on the Way", you can see Yu Dafu's deep affection, as well as the bitterness behind the affection. Yu Dafu likes to travel in the mountains and rivers, and loves the great rivers and mountains, which may be a kind of Yu Dafu's ideal life. However, this ideal is not easy to achieve. Financially, he was not a wealthy man. It can be felt that the contradiction between unsatisfactory reality and ambition and ideal has been entangled in Yu Dafu's life.

On September 17, 1945, Yu Dafu was killed by Japanese soldiers in Sumatra. We ordinary people, living in our seventies and eighties, can't help but think: What is the value and meaning of life?

Sunset Building

Further reading:

1. Yu Dafu is in Anqing, and Long Er was born in Anqing

From October 1921 to January 1922, Yu Dafu was invited by Guangmingfu, the principal of Anhui Public Law and Political College, to teach in Anqing, where he served as an English teacher. He asked for a sign in the "Pure Yang Palace" of Luzu Pavilion: "The short wall is withered and does not turn off the wind, and the residual flowers are blown off and the ground is red." The lonely swallow from the beginning, as if the protagonist was lost. This seems to be a bit of a prophecy.

Between September 1922 and February 1923, Yu Dafu went to Anqing for the second time, and together with his pregnant wife Sun Quan, they gave birth to their eldest son, Long'er, in Anqing.

On September 29, 1929, Yu Dafu took a boat from Shanghai to Anqing for the third time to teach at Anqing Baihuating Provincial Anhui University and served as a professor in the College of Liberal Arts. Because he was attacked by Cheng Tianfang, a close confidant of Chiang Kai-shek and director of the Anhui Provincial Department of Education, and included him in the list of "red-cut elements", in order to avoid persecution, on October 6, "he took a boat from Anqing to Shanghai, and he did not bring any luggage and suitcases, which was really a hasty escape", and Yu Dafu never set foot on this land again.

"I especially love the hills outside the West City and next to a diamond-shaped lake next to the Yangtze River. When I woke up in the morning, I took a few books I loved to read, filled a bag of peanuts and fruit cigarettes, and I went to these hills to enjoy the quiet air. When I was tired of reading, I raised my eyes to look at the Yangtze River and the sails on the river. Sometimes I took a deep puff of cigarette, put my hands behind my back, leaned back, narrowed my eyes, and stared at the faint green mountains in the south of the Yangtze River, and there were times when I didn't change my posture for more than 30 minutes. Sometimes stretching my limbs, lying on my back in the warm sunshine, looking at the infinite blue fall, I will forget all thoughts for a while, and I will be like a piece of green smoke unconsciously floating in the air. ”

Three novels written in Anqing as the background: "Vast Night", "Autumn Willows" and "Lost Sheep".

Yu Dafu self-titled couplet

2. Yu Dafu is in Beijing, and Long Er passed away in Beijing

Yu Dafu has been to Beijing several times, but each time it has not been long, adding up to less than two years.

The first time I came to Beijing to take the diplomat exam. In the summer of 1919, he graduated from Nagoya No. 8 High School and entered the Faculty of Economics at Tokyo Imperial University. At this time, he received a letter from his eldest brother Yu Mantuo from Beijing, asking him to come to Beijing to take the examination for diplomats and higher civil officials. At the beginning of September, Yu Dafu left Japan and returned to China, and after staying in his hometown of Fuyang for a few days, he went to Beijing to take the exam, but he failed twice, and then went back to Japan.

The second time I came to Beijing, I visited the Zhou brothers. In July 1922, Yu Dafu graduated from Tokyo Imperial University and went to teach at the Anqing School of Law and Politics. He resigned at the beginning of 1923 and came to Beijing for the second time in February. One is to visit my brother and sister-in-law and scatter my heart. The second is to thank Zhou Zuoren. Because after the publication of "Sinking", he was criticized and abused by all kinds, and Yu Dafu wrote to Zhou Zuoren, hoping that he would come forward to give a fair evaluation.

The third time I came to Beijing to teach statistics at Peking University. At the beginning of October 1923, at the recommendation of Chen Qixiu, a senior brother at Tokyo Imperial University, Yu Dafu went to Peking University to teach statistics. He left his wife and children and stayed alone at his eldest brother's house. In the spring of 1924, Yu Dafu brought his wife Sun Quan and eldest son Long'er from his hometown to Beijing, first lived together at his eldest brother's house, and more than a month later, rented a small courtyard on the north shore of Shichahai, and the family moved over. The north shore of Shichahai is now the northern edge of Qianhai, which is Yu Dafu's home in Beijing. There are two jujube trees and one grape tree in the yard.

In February 1925, Yu Dafu was invited to Wuhan to serve as a professor of liberal arts at Wuchang Normal University, and left in Wuhan less than a year ago, and went to Shanghai and Guangzhou successively. In the spring of 1926, Yu Dafu, who had not long been in Guangzhou, received a letter from his wife, telling Long'er that he was seriously ill.

The former residence of Yu Dafu in Fuyang

Feng Zikai's question: Elegant and elegant

A water tank in the corner of the courtyard of the former residence

Stork Mountain (The picture in this article was taken at the former residence of Yu Dafu in Fuyang, 2024.4.25)