I heard from my married friends that no matter how loving a couple is, they will have countless times "want to strangle each other" and "want to divorce them". But if you move this kind of mind, the little things in life can become a fuse. Recently, I saw a post in which the netizen who posted it said: After seven years of marriage, she filed for divorce for a plate of shrimp.
➤ The reason is that the owner of the post went to the vegetable market to buy shrimp and came back to prepare to come back to braised it.
▽ Before I started to do it, the husband of the post owner asked "how much money did I buy", when the post owner said that he bought a pound of 28 yuan, her husband said that there was no need to buy so much and eat it all, and the post owner was silent.
Immediately after that, the husband of the post owner began to say how to do it and what seasoning to put in it, but the post owner only replied "Okay, I know". In fact, the husband of the post owner has never made shrimp, and saying so much may just be looking for a sense of existence or a topic.
▽ When the shrimp comes out of the pot, the color of the shrimp is darker because of the soy sauce.
Originally, it wasn't a big deal, but the husband of the post owner began to repeat "I said how to put soy sauce, didn't you hear" and "I can't eat salty now", saying that I dislike it but didn't delay eating shrimp. The owner of the post still responded with silence, and the children at home also ate silently.
↑ But the more the husband, the more the husband of the post owner, the more energetic he said, and the topic extended to "There is no need to buy so many shrimps", "You always make some waste when you eat at home" and so on, the owner of the post really can't bear it, and he shook his chopsticks and yelled at his husband, and the other party finally shut up ↑
▽ After the child fell asleep at night, the owner of the post said divorce to her husband, and at the same time vented her dissatisfaction with her husband for a long time by the way. But her husband didn't say anything or say anything, and his anger seemed to hit cotton.
➤ Looking at this paragraph of the post owner's text, it feels like watching a suffocating life drama: trivial daily life, lack of communication between husband and wife, husband likes to worry about trivial things, and his wife seems to be docile but has long been unbearable.
➤ It is said that happy marriages are similar, and unhappy marriages have their own unhappiness. The owner of the post said that this plate of shrimp is like the last straw that crushes him. Maybe something similar happens every day between the poster and her husband: this time it's a plate of shrimp, maybe a fruit, a bag of rice, or even a bottle of soy sauce before... There are too many trivial things in the lives of ordinary people, and if you have to make a big fuss about everything, you will not only consume yourself but also consume others. The relationship between husband and wife, between parents and children, is probably slowly consumed in this way.
But in reality, there are not many families who get along in this way. Some posters choose to tolerate like that, and some people choose to fight back on the spot.
➤ Some people may feel hypocritical: how can a family not bump into each other, what's wrong with saying a few words? But if you're not in it, you can't experience that suffocation.
▽In the summer vacation of my sophomore year, I went to the home of a classmate with whom I had a good relationship for a week. Her family is in the countryside, and her parents are very diligent and honest people, and they are also very polite to me. My classmate's mother cooked a table of meals at noon that day, and there was no fan in the kitchen that was so hot that she was sweating. I said that my aunt was too polite, and I really didn't need to cook so many dishes.
Then the classmate's father said on the side, I have to do so much, other children are hungry, and they always do such superfluous things... I was so scared that I quickly shut up.
▽ When my classmate and her mother brought all the food to the table (I wanted to help them), her father said that how to eat when it was so hot in the house, why didn't she move it under the big tree in the yard? Isn't there a table in the pantry? ...
I said I can eat anywhere, I'm really not afraid of the heat, uncle really don't have to bother! But the classmate's father still instructed her mother to move the table out, and when he saw dust on the table, he scolded her mother for not wiping it down in advance... Anyway, I was very embarrassed that day, because my classmate and her mother had been talked about many times.
▽ In the next few days, I was very careful in what I said and did, for fear of "implicating" them. My classmate noticed it, and she told me that it really didn't have to be like this.
Her father is like this, he has been thinking about it for half his life. She didn't know what her mom thought, but she was really annoyed with her dad sometimes. The little things are chattering, which makes her very nervous, and she is afraid of doing anything, so she is worried about being said to be scolded.
My classmates said that I was really happy to be able to go to college away from home because I was finally able to catch my breath. When she graduated and could earn money, she took her mother to take care of her.
➤ I read a passage before, "The most terrible thing about a family is not poverty, but having a person who is good at creating internal friction". This person could be a parent, a significant other, or ourselves. Either way, all we can do is to make ourselves strong and get out of the predicament of internal friction!