Yang Jiang once said:
Only those who are in humble circumstances have the best chance to see the truth of the world's human feelings.
No matter what kind of relationship you are in, the more you care, the more humble you are.
"The Moon and Sixpence" is one of the masterpieces of the British writer Maugham.
After its publication in 1919, it has become a classic after the baptism of time, and its charm has not diminished to this day.
This book not only allows the reader to see the process of the protagonist Charles's pursuit of ideals, but also allows the reader to feel:
The most undesirable thing in a relationship is humility.
Whether in friendship, love or family affection, if you want to be loved and respected, you need to let go of humility.
Friendship: The more humble you are, the less you get respect
Lu Xun said:
Friendship is when two hearts treat each other sincerely, not one heart beating the other.
If one party blindly gives, but what is obtained is ridicule and ridicule, it must not be friendship.
Delcor in the book has a good nature and often lends Charles money when he is destitute.
But Charles likes to be sarcastic and insulting Dilco.
Delcor was often so angry that he walked away.
But soon he will come back and wag his tail at Charles like a stupid puppy.
Charles was dying, and Delcor took him home and took care of him.
Charles not only didn't appreciate it, but also often scolded him.
In the end, he actually got together with Mrs. Dirkor Blanche.
Dilco's kindness and tolerance not only did not get Charles's friendship, but also allowed him to lose his wife.
When the author learned about this, he was very disgusted with Charles and did not want to pay attention to him.
But Charles knew that the author didn't like him, but he didn't care, and always wanted to get close to the author.
Charles was unusually kind to those who disdained to deal with him; On the contrary, those who were good to him, he sneered.
In friendship, a humble attitude can only be exchanged for contempt.
Only by being principled and getting along with each other on an equal footing can we gain respect and friendship.
My friend Lili had a similar experience.
When Lili first joined the work, she liked to talk to her colleague Xiaowen about everything, and Xiaowen would listen carefully.
Lili believes that Xiao Wang is her best friend.
Until one day, when Lili heard Xiaowen and others say that she was always disturbed by Lili, Lili was very sad.
Xiaowen did not invite Lili to get married.
After Lili heard about it, she braved the heavy rain and used all her savings of 3,000 yuan to buy a gift for Xiaowen.
After Xiaowen received the gift, he just said lightly:
"I'm sorry, I forgot to invite you."
Xiaowen later resigned, and on the second day of his resignation, he blocked Lili.
Lili couldn't understand why Xiaowen would treat her like this.
Later, Lili saw that there is no reason why some people don't like you.
Even if two people with different frequencies occasionally intersect, they will go farther and farther away, so it's better to let go.
Not all people can be friends, and not all people are worthy of dedication.
Those who don't deserve it don't have to bother to please, they don't have to be humble, they don't have to force it.
Those who lower their stature and bother to curry favor with others are not real friends.
Friendship is equality and reciprocity, mutual respect, warmth and sincerity.
Love: The more humble you are, the less you get love
In love, when you will only accommodate each other, then you will lose your heart, you will love humbly, and in the end, you will lose more than love.
In a relationship, the humble one is the worst, because he doesn't even have the qualifications to give up.
Dirkor and his wife Blanche lived happily and peacefully, until the appearance of Charles broke it all.
Dearco wanted to bring the seriously ill Charles home, but Blanche was resolutely opposed, and couldn't resist Dilco's pleading, so he reluctantly agreed.
During her days watching over Charles day and night, Blanche fell in love with Charles.
Leaving Dilco, she thought she had found love.
But Charles doesn't need love, he just wants to satisfy his lusts.
He said:
"Life is so short, I don't have time to juggle love and art."
Blanche tries to use some little tricks to keep him by his side and become his partner.
Charles ran out of patience and he wanted to leave.
Blanche couldn't accept it and ended his life by suicide.
In this love, Blanche is too humble.
She wanted happiness and paid ten times the price.
Even life, in the end, nothing was gained.
It turns out that:
Delusional to exchange emotion and self-sacrifice for love, in the end it is only yourself who is hurt.
Someone on the Internet asked, do you know what the humblest look in love is?
A netizen replied:
It's just that he didn't pay attention to me for a long time, and he didn't talk to me well, and I was so sad that I decided to ignore him.
But as soon as he messaged me, I was so happy that nothing had happened.
I wanted him to know that I was a little angry, so I deliberately got back to him a few minutes late, but he ignored me again.
So I began to reflect:
"Didn't I just go back too slowly?"
I've been trying to maintain this relationship, for fear that if I don't work hard, the relationship will be gone.
But no matter how hard I tried, I still didn't keep him.
Such a humble love, it's better not to.
In love, it is not important to love over, but it is important to love right.
Only the person who cherishes you, the person who treats you sincerely, and the person who can make you a better version of yourself, is worthy of paying true affection and trusting for life.
Family affection: The more humble you are, the less you will be grateful
Mark Twain said,
Humble dedication cannot be exchanged for the gratitude and cherishment of family affection.
In family affection, the greatest sorrow is that he gave all his parents and raised a child who does not know how to be grateful.
The more humble the parents, the more ruthless the children.
I once watched a video on the Internet and dropped my jaw in shock.
The girl in the video, studying abroad in Spain.
After returning to China, because her father did not leave her lunch at noon, she hysterically scolded her father for being a selfish ghost.
The father softly advised her not to make any more trouble, but the girl did not listen at all and kept scolding.
After scolding, the girl posted the video to a WeChat group she had set up, rewarded with nude photos, and called on netizens to insult her father.
She herself not only scolded her father:
"Old fellow, if you can't afford to raise this fairy, don't give birth."
also scolded his mother:
"160 pounds of crazy sow, what's the point of living in this world."
Why would a girl do this to her father?
Because she has always been dissatisfied with her father, she feels that her father's monthly living expenses of 10,000 yuan are not enough to spend.
Some netizens said that 10,000 yuan is more than enough for an international student at the consumption level of a middle-class family in Spain.
The girl's father is a top student of Peking University, who works as the editor-in-chief of a magazine and earns a salary of 13,000 per month.
Every time the salary was paid, he immediately transferred 10,000 yuan to the girl, and he often ate vegetables and corn paste for a meal.
The father of Peking University is not a rich generation, but he spoils his children into a rich second generation.
He raised his daughter rich and poor to support himself, but raised his daughter into a white-eyed wolf who was ungrateful.
Some netizens said in the comment area:
The humble parents eventually became the defeated subordinates of their children.
Parents are afraid that their children will suffer hardships and that he will be unhappy, so they would rather wronged themselves, but also do their best to give their children the best and satisfy his wishes as much as possible.
Children are not grateful to their parents for this.
He will feel that this is the way it should be, and even if he hollows himself out, the child still feels that he is not giving enough.
Does a child raised like this know how to be grateful?
Does he know how to give? Does he know that life is not easy?
He will only become more and more selfish, will not care about others, will not be grateful to others, and will suffer in society in the future.
Children come because of you.
But not for you, you have your way of living, he has his life, don't lose yourself for the sake of your children.
The best that parents can give their children is not material life, but good upbringing.
Excellent character and a heart that knows how to be grateful.
Wise parents are not indulgent and tolerant, and they are not obedient.
They are willing to endure hardships for their children and know how to stick to their principles, so that children can learn to love others and be responsible.
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Zhou Guoping said:
Don't care too much about some people, the more you care, the more humble you become.
No matter what kind of relationship, people are equal, independent, and dignified.
Blindly compromising can only make one's breathing room smaller and smaller;
Blindly being humble can only make beauty and happiness farther and farther away.
Friendship requires respect and equality;
Love, what is needed is to go both ways;
What is needed for family affection is understanding and support.
Only by straightening your waist and being independent and confident will the world give you a little more.