———I like you very much(48)
"You let me down, I was joking with you just now, I can go by myself, how can I be so hypocritical!"
Xiao Qian, who was lying on my back, urged me to let her down and walk by herself several times.
"It's okay! I move you behind my back, today you are a patient, you must enjoy different treatment! ”
I responded to Xiao Qian with a smile, dragged her legs up with both hands, and changed to a more comfortable position to carry her.
At more than two o'clock in the morning, I walked on the empty street with Xiao Qian on my back, and only my footsteps accompanied the two of us along the way.
Just now, Xiao Qian was still lying on my back, swaying around, deliberately making me unsteady and playing.
Now that she sees me, she has no intention of stopping, and she doesn't follow along. His hands were on my shoulders and he fell silent.
"Qin Fen!" Xiao Qian's gentle voice sounded in her ears.
"Hmmm! What's wrong? I responded to Xiao Qian, she called me so seriously, but I wasn't used to it.
"Can I ask you something?"
"What's the matter? It's so formal, you ask, I'm sure I'll tell me. ”
I slowed down, muttering in my heart, I couldn't remember what Xiao Qian would ask me.
Xiao Qian was silent for a long time before she spoke:
"Where did you drive with Feng Li some time ago?"
I didn't expect Xiao Qian to ask this question, but I stopped asking.
"We're not going anywhere either?"
"You haven't been anywhere yet, I saw the toll in Sichuan in the car, did you go to Sichuan? No wonder I asked you to go to Xi'an to find me, and you arrived the next day. ”
I didn't expect Xiao Qian to be so careful, just according to the high-speed toll on the car, she actually judged that we had been to Sichuan.
"That's... We...... We went to Sichuan......" I stammered a few words, not thinking about how to respond to Xiao Qian for a while.
She can really save her anger, it's been so long, and she still thinks about asking me about going to Sichuan.
"Then guess what I followed Feng Li to Sichuan for?"
"If you like to say it or not, I don't guess, I don't want to say it, I don't want to hear it. Hurry up, I'm sleepy! ”
Xiao Qian really didn't speak anymore after speaking, I called her a few times and ignored me.
"Angry?" Xiao Qian still didn't squeak.
"Feng Li wants to see her sister, it's not safe to drive by herself, so she has to pull me to follow her."
"Did you see her? I guess you must have seen her when you went to Sichuan. ”
I told Xiao Qian about my ex-wife and knew that she was married to Sichuan.
Xiao Qian suddenly mentioned his ex-wife, and the figure of his ex-wife appeared in front of my eyes again, and the scenes after and after the meeting appeared in front of me.
I couldn't help but say:
"I did see her when I went to Sichuan.................."
"Is she okay now?" Xiao Qian followed my words and asked about his ex-wife.
I don't know why, when I mentioned my ex-wife, my mood became inexplicably heavy: "It's good now, and the family over there treats her very well." It was all my fault at the beginning, but this time she said what happened back then. ”
"Can you tell me about it?" Xiao Qian seemed to see the change in my expression. After that, he didn't speak again, and quietly listened to me tell the story of his ex-wife.
I carried Xiao Qian on my back and walked all the way forward, thinking that she talked about her trip to Sichuan, and her ex-wife concealed the truth that she avoided back then, not because she was cold-blooded and ruthless, but because she had a last resort.
At that time, she was in danger of her life, she was admitted to the hospital, her mobile phone was also snatched, and she had the idea of dying without relatives.
It is this dusty and painful past that dooms us to be separated, and there is no more, in the final analysis, it is still my own problem, if it weren't for my own muddled nightmares, my ex-wife no longer has illusions about me, I am afraid we will not be able to go to such an ending.
"This time we met again, and she finally told the truth of the year, which can be regarded as clearing the misunderstanding between each other. I blamed her for being too bastard, otherwise she wouldn't have gone out to work, let alone have an accident. ”
I carried Xiao Qian to the side of the road, she sat on the side of the road with me, and when I mentioned my ex-wife, I couldn't calm down for a long time, I felt ashamed of their mother, and I couldn't give them a complete home, but it was all too late!
"It's me who is sorry for her! They all blame me......... "I just want to say the words buried in my heart."
Xiao Qian has been sitting next to me, quietly listening to me talk about my ex-wife's life.
Midnight quiet streets
Across the road, there is a residential community shrouded in darkness, and there is a window with bright light, which may still be lighting the way home for the family.
When I think of my daughter, I feel that I have failed in life, and now I am still alone, and I have not been able to give my child a warm home.
The lights in the city are dim, but none of them are lighting the way home for themselves. I inexplicably thought of getting married and wanted to find a woman to live a good life.
I can work hard to earn money every day, just so that I can come home from work and be happy with my family. It's a pity that I can't even have such a simple request now.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you that you sat with me for so long." I realized that I shouldn't say this to Xiao Qian, maybe she didn't care about what I said at all, or I felt much better when I said it.
"She's truly remarkable! Such a big thing happened back then, and she silently took it by herself. She married and lived well in Sichuan, you can rest assured, don't bother her anymore. ”
Xiao Qian seemed to appreciate her ex-wife, and paused to look at me: "Do you still love her now?" ”
It was as if something was stuck in my throat, and I didn't know how to answer her question.
Do I still love my ex-wife? Now ask me like this, even I don't know very well, Xiao Qian is still looking at me, waiting for me to answer her question.
"I don't know! In the past few years, I have been unwilling and hated her for saying goodbye back then. Until she told the truth, she felt like she was letting go again. Although I was reluctant, seeing that she was doing well now, I could only bless her. ”
Xiao Qian suddenly asked, "She has something to ask you for help in the future, will you help?" ”
"I think it will, if you really need my help, you will definitely help! After all, she is still the mother of the child! ”
The words I told Xiao Qian were even more to myself, although the past has passed, can some things really pass? But life needs to go on, and I have to plan for my future.
"Have you rested? It's cold to sit, let's go back, I'm scared of the black light, let's go quickly! ”
Xiao Qian's words interrupted my thoughts, and the moment I got up, I felt a lot more relaxed.
"It's not far, let's go quickly."
I looked at Xiao Qian, she didn't seem to mean to get up:
"I'm tired and don't want to walk. You come and carry me back,......"
Xiao Qian said and deliberately stretched out her hands to beckon me to squat down, but at this moment I suddenly hesitated and didn't have the courage to go over.
Probably seeing that I hadn't moved, she turned behind me and grabbed my clothes.
"Okay, I really can't pester you! I'll carry you on your back, okay! ”
Xiao Qian made such a fuss, and my heavy mood was diluted a lot by her.
"That's right, carry me home quickly. Don't think about it so much, let the past pass, we all look forward, there is still a long way to go! ”
Xiao Qian climbed on my back, and the seemingly casual words dissipated the unhappiness in my heart and ignited the direction I was moving forward.
I turned my head to touch Xiao Qian's eyes, and for a moment, I seemed to see the longing expression in my eyes, but I felt that I hadn't caught anything!
"What do you see? Do I have flowers on my face? Don't hurry up and leave, stay here with you to feed the mosquitoes, I'm sleepy! ”
The inadvertent smile on Xiao Qian's face deeply infected me, and the boredom in my heart was swept away.
"Let's go, I'll carry you home and sleep."
"Who's going to go home with you! Hurry up and send me back to the hotel to sleep........."
"It's all the same, thank you for today!" I still solemnly thanked Xiao Qian and thanked her for her companionship and comfort.
"How do you want to thank me? Then if I think about it, should I ask you to invite you to dinner? Or what are you doing~!! ”
Walking the streets is also a blessing
Carrying Xiao Qian again, I felt extremely relaxed, and the pace under my feet was much brisker, not much time, I saw the hotel gate from a distance, and suddenly found that this section of the road was so fast, I didn't seem to have memorized enough.
"You let me down quickly, it's all at the door of the hotel, so it's not good for others to see it." Before I got to the door of the hotel, Xiao Qian urged me to put her down.
"What time is it, where will there be people, and what if you see it, I'm going to carry you into the room."
As we passed by the hall, Xiao Qian's face was buried in my shoulder, for fear of meeting someone.
I carried Xiao Qian back to the room all the time, and I didn't meet anyone along the way.
After tossing all night, we didn't feel sleepy when we came back. When I went back to my room, I boiled hot water for her, thinking that she would drink more hot water when she was sick, and she teased me that I drank more water if I was not sick, and my mother taught me.
I feel that I am just like Xiao Qian said, when I see her uncomfortable, I will always unconsciously pour a glass of boiling water, and habitually tell her to drink more water when she is sick.
Xiao Qian lay on the bed, asked me not to turn off the headlights in the room, and did not allow me to go back to my room, stayed with her, turned on the TV and caught up with the drama.
"I'm hungry! Can you show me if I have anything to eat? ”
Before Xiao Qian went to the hospital, she vomited a few times, and when she came back from the injection, she was hungry. She saw the instant noodles on the table at a glance and asked me to make them for her.
"Eating instant noodles is hot, you just got an injection, you can't eat it. Now that the breakfast seller is open, I'll go out and buy you breakfast to eat. ”
"It's only five o'clock, where is there breakfast for sale. Don't go, I'm not eating. ”
"It's okay! It's almost dawn, I'm going to buy it for you, I can't starve you. ”
"How could you be so good!"
I got dressed and asked Xiao Qian:
"Whatever you want to eat, I'll buy it for you."