In this world, the most painful thing is that the people you care about don't care about you at all.
Feelings are such a thing, not how much you give in exchange for the same return.
In this world, the most reliable person is yourself; The most cherished feelings are those that have been cherished by you.
The saddest thing in a relationship is when you try your best to please someone, only to end up with a sentence of "this is what I should do".
As Mr. Qian Zhongshu said:
"Marriage is a besieged city, people outside the city want to go in, people in the city want to come out."
When two people have been together for a long time, it is inevitable that there will be times when they are tired and tired.
Especially when facing the people you love, you will inevitably have the thought that "we are not suitable".
But in fact, the most important thing in the relationship is the word "cherish".
If you feel tired and bored in a relationship, then let it go!
- In the relationship, don't blindly give
Some people regard love as everything and want to stay by each other's side 24 hours a day.
As everyone knows, caring too much about one person will only make the other person feel more stressed, and over time they will want to escape.
In a relationship, the one who gives more is often the most humble.
is like Qiao Yingzi in "Little Huanxi", in the world of her boyfriend Song Qian, she has always been the "sensible", "obedient", and "not troublesome" child.
In Song Qian's view, Yingzi is all she has, and she also needs to give everything for Song Qian.
But in fact, Song Qian is just an ordinary mother.
In order for her daughter to be able to go to a good university, she did not hesitate to let her daughter give up her favorite career; In order for her daughter to have a better living environment, she would rather sacrifice her love.
- In a relationship, don't take the other person too seriously
Each of us has our own life and our own circle. When you take the other person too seriously, you tend to ignore other things.
Because, when you take a person too seriously, you are afraid of losing, and thus you start to suffer from gains and losses.
You are afraid that the other person will leave, so you desperately try to keep it; You're afraid of the other person leaving, so you're desperate to please.
In fact, the biggest enemy in a relationship is the "ego". Only those who know how to love themselves and live their own lives can grasp the initiative in their feelings.
If a person attaches too much importance to feelings, then he will lose himself.
Once he puts all his mind on the other person, he ignores other things.
Not only is this not conducive to getting along and communicating between two people, but it can also make the other person feel suffocated.
- In your relationship, don't blindly accommodate
In a relationship, we need to learn to change, not blindly accommodating.
In life, there are always some people who are accustomed to each other's existence, so they blindly accommodate each other at the beginning.
They feel that as long as they accommodate, they can get a response from the other party.
However, when the relationship is exhausted, you realize that this relationship has no meaning to you at all.
All relationships are equal. You blindly accommodate the other party, and in the end you only get "inch by inch".
Therefore, don't blindly accommodate in your relationship, but learn to change yourself.
- In a relationship, don't always ask the other person to change for yourself
In a relationship, when two people are together, the most important thing is to understand each other and tolerate each other.
But often in relationships, there are many people who are selfish and always ask the other person to change for themselves.
For example, when you encounter a problem outside, you always yell at each other; When I encounter difficulties at home, I always find all kinds of excuses to shirk my responsibilities.
Some people also lose their temper with each other often without considering each other's feelings.
Perhaps, the two of you loved each other very much when they first got together, but as time goes by, there will be more and more conflicts between you.
If you don't want your relationship to get worse and worse, don't always ask the other person to change for you.
Because people who truly love you don't want the people they love to have a bad time.
Only those who don't love you will only care about their own feelings and interests.