Recently, the crime drama "New Life" starring Jing Boran has been on the air. The character "Fei Ke" in the play deceived the trust of business tycoons and professional executives at the same time in a short period of time, and the amount of fraud involved was as high as 100 million. Compared with the "fat cat" incident that was hotly discussed on the Internet during this time, people can't help but think deeply: why do so many people fall for "love liars"? Is it because the deception is too masterful?
Wang Xiaoting, a national second-level psychological counselor, said that "love liars" often disguise themselves as what the other party likes, say what the other party likes, do what the other party likes, give the other party expectations and satisfy the other party's inner desires...... Until the other party willingly walks into the "trap" they carefully arrange step by step.
In real life, it is easy for people to have a good impression of people with good faces and politeness, to develop a desire to protect weak people, and to lose resistance to admiration and words in their eyes...... As a result, "the three views follow the five senses", and gradually lose the ability to make rational judgments, rationalize the abnormal behavior of the "love liars", and trust them unconditionally.
"Everyone goes through the process of going from naivety to maturity, and it comes at a cost of trial and error. When we realize that we have been scammed, we should stop the loss in time. There is no need to be ashamed, no need to deny, no need to be afraid, and no need to punish or abandon yourself. Confronting your weaknesses can be an opportunity for your 'self' to become more mature and perfect. Wang Xiaoting said.
Facing negative experiences, embracing uncertainty, and struggling to understand and digest painful feelings is a surefire path to maturity, try to ask yourself the following questions:
- What changes has this experience brought to me and what lessons have you learned?
- How has my perspective on myself, others, and the world changed through this?
- How did I deal with this, how did I cope, and how did I reflect on my response?
Through such thinking, we can help adjust our cognitive framework and achieve self-reconstruction.
The road to maturity may be difficult, but it allows us to experience the flavors of the world that cannot be experienced in a simple life mode, and to feel more of the true meaning of life. Isn't it because of this that our lives become richer, more beautiful, and more meaningful?