[Analysis of the inferiority complex behind the arrogant girl] She was disdainful on a 34-year-old blind date, but she actually had hidden worries
Hikiko:
"I fit into the very small percentage of the Chinese man group." Faced with the tutor's questioning, Lulu's blunt and domineering answer made people laugh. A 34-year-old single female white-collar worker, rich in learning, successful in career, and quite outstanding in appearance, it stands to reason that she should be the favored object of many men. But the reality is that she has repeatedly fallen into an embarrassing situation on blind dates, and the man who pursues her is scared away by her "arrogant" self-contained attitude.
The straightforward words actually covered up Lulu's inner troubles and inferiority complex for singleness. Through the details of her interaction with the blind date, it is not difficult for us to find the true thoughts and self-positioning deviations of this "arrogant woman".
Body:
On blind dates, Lulu behaves condescendingly everywhere, ignoring or perfunctory questioning of the opposite sex. For example, when Mr. Gong asked about her work, she gave a modest answer of "an ordinary worker", implying that she did not want to comment too much. When the other party praised her talent as a top student of Fudan, she also took it casually with reserve, seemingly very humble but implying a little complacency.
From the outside, Lulu does give people a sense of pride of "not eating fireworks in the world". But a closer look at her rhetoric reveals that her defensiveness against men and confusion about her own identity are the key. For example, when talking about her appearance, she replied with the words "middle-to-upper posture, enough", which seemed to mean that she was not too confident in her appearance; Another example is her comment that Chinese men "give up on themselves too early" and "are not worthy of Chinese women", the root of which may be a kind of self-comfort and rationalization of singleness.
In fact, Lulu's "arrogant" behavior is likely to be a disguise of self-preservation, stemming from her fear of marriage and love. She hopes to hide her instinctive need to be loved and cared for by being picky about keeping the opposite sex out.
It can be said that Lulu is between the traditional concept of marriage and love and the narrowness of modern women's sense of autonomy, and it is difficult to face herself and open her heart to the opposite sex. Her reserved external image is contrary to her inner anxiety, creating a disobedient impression of "coldness" and "arrogance".
Single women face the dual pressure of social expectations and self-realization, on the one hand, the traditional concept of "women are not left behind", and on the other hand, their own achievements are expected to surpass men, and in this contradiction it is inevitable that self-identity troubles arise.
Lulu's situation may represent a portrayal of the plight of many single working women today. In the process of pursuing career autonomy, they are assimilated and masculine, gradually becoming incompatible with traditional gender identity. Being single has become a pain in the intertwining of self-esteem and inferiority.
How to rebuild her self-image and find her identity and inner balance is Lulu's top priority. Perhaps, through reflection, she will find that her "pickiness" of the opposite sex is actually the externalization of self-demand, and projecting it on others is a way to escape. Only by letting go of the arrogant shell and treating the opposite sex with a more open, tolerant and sincere attitude can she get out of the one-sided single dilemma of focusing on her career.
End:
After all, the road to romantic marriage requires mutual appreciation, understanding and dedication from both parties. Arrogance will only allow you to pass by your sweetheart, and thus you will not have the opportunity to share the meaning and happiness of love. Whether Lulu can jump out of the barrier of "arrogance" and face the next him in life with softness and sincerity may be a key step in a happy life.
Have you ever been like Lulu, using arrogance to hide your fears and insecurity? And how to regain the yearning and expectation for a beautiful marriage? Feel free to leave a comment to share your stories and opinions.