Text | The wind stops at night
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40 years old is a hurdle in life!
Whether you are unmarried or divorced, it is right to have expectations for marriage, but you must not ignore the important impact of 40-year-old life on yourself!
Marriage itself is a piggy bank of happiness, but choosing the wrong marriage partner is the accumulation of unhappiness!
Although marriage carries too many people's dreams and fantasies, there is a gap between the ideal and the reality!
When the pace of the years quietly reaches the age of 40, whether it is the first marriage or the second marriage, we need to face it with a more mature and rational attitude.
About marriage: If you reach the age of 40, don't be blind in the first marriage, and don't make do with the second marriage! Remember!
First of all, 40-year-old people, don't be blind when you get married for the first time:
For 40-year-old people, in the face of the choice of marriage, the most taboo is the "love brain".
At the age of 40, who is under pressure, once you are not careful in choosing a partner, you will face the following crises:
1: The crisis of the economy being cheated;
2: The crisis of the use of contacts and resources;
3: The crisis of a slump after a frustrated relationship.
These crises have a direct impact on a person's well-being!
Marriage is not child's play, especially for 40-year-olds, you should be cautious! Therefore, before choosing a mate, you must make the following preparations:
1: Know yourself
The greatest sorrow of man is that he cannot know himself! In such a sad situation, people will also blur their values, hobbies and positive habits.
If a person can deeply understand himself, he will find someone who is appropriately complementary and positive to him!
2: Richi Tang
Too many people are prone to act impulsively under the influence of emotions when faced with the choice of marriage partner, and even pay too much attention to the negative voices of the outside world because they are unmarried at a certain age!
When facing marriage, a 40-year-old person must weigh the other party's realistic conditions and inner conduct with a rational attitude, rather than blindly marrying for the sake of getting married!
3: Get to know each other better
The more 40-year-olds choose marriage, the more they must understand the principle of slow relationship building! Moreover, if you are slow to establish a romantic relationship, don't go too fast into marriage!
A person who has the ability to embrace a happy marriage will definitely use more time to give each other the opportunity to get to know each other. Through the details of life, work status, and attitude towards life, we can analyze whether the other party is really suitable for the rest of your life!
4: Family factors must be taken into account in the choice of marriage
Once a 40-year-old person is holding hands for the first time, he must avoid the pit of divorce!
This means that whether the families of both parties are "the right family" is an issue that cannot be ignored.
Marriage has always been the integration of the family style of the two families, ensuring that both parties are well integrated, and each other's marriage can be happier!
Secondly, don't make do with a second marriage:
For too many divorced people around the age of 40, most of them are improvised, based on the matching of real values!
Although, there's nothing wrong with such a combination, I really advise you not to make do!
People who have already experienced a failure in their marriage, when facing their marriage again, they must keep a clear head to avoid falling into an unhappy marriage again because of improvisation.
In order to keep you from entering the fire pit again in marriage at the age of 40, here are a few reminders for those who are still planning to remarry at the age of 40:
1: Be sure to summarize the lessons of past marriage failures before holding hands with others again
Compared with longing for the arrival of a new happy marriage, it is more important to do a good job of summarizing the failed marriage!
In the real human nature, people are accustomed to shirking their responsibilities in the face of problems, but they never know how to examine themselves!
Perhaps the biggest problem in your last marriage was your ex-husband/ex-wife, but it was your "too good" that became one of the problems that cannot be ignored!
From the last failed marriage, look for a reasonable bottom line and principles that you should stick to but did not adhere to, examine your real shortcomings, use this as a self-alert, and then hold hands with others, you will have a greater chance of reaping happiness!
2: Learn how to get an ideal partner from communication
Many people, when choosing a partner, are good at disguising themselves - revealing the best of themselves and hiding the bad ones!
Therefore, when two people are really combined, they feel that they have found the wrong person!
In the final analysis, it is to hide the cause and effect caused by yourself!
When you come into contact with the opposite sex and have the idea of holding hands, remember to be your true self! And, in the process of being your true self, don't go straight to the point, express yourself in an effective way that the other party can accept!
This way, you can see how much a person is actually inside and how attached to you, and how well you really match!
3: Maintain the ability to be independent and have a sunny attitude
Many people reach the age of 40 and still do not have the state to live the most basic ideal life! In particular, after facing a failed marriage, the pursuit of the ideal rest of your life is even stronger!
But we know that no one will become anyone's dependence for no reason, and the road of life depends on one person in the end!
Therefore, when choosing a partner, you must remember to make yourself independent, and when you are strong enough, the appearance of the right partner is the icing on the cake of your life!
In addition, there is a truth about human nature:
No matter who you are married to, you will face too many unexpected marital problems, as long as you can have a sunny attitude and rational thinking, all problems will be solved!
Marriage is an art that requires us to manage it with our hearts and requires the joint efforts and dedication of both parties.
I hope that every 40-year-old person can go further and further on the road of marriage!
Love is the purgatory of people in the world. Whether it's love or friendship, the right time and the right person can achieve positive results!
I am an author in the field of high-quality emotion, a professional counselor, and have provided valuable and meaningful help to many counselors. I have rich experience in marriage, relationships, interpersonal relationships, etc., if you have any emotional confusion, please feel free to consult me.
Topic discussion: Do you think it is necessary for people to get married when they are 40 years old? Let's talk about it in the comment section.