It is not easy to be original, and plagiarism must be investigated
Text: Xie Wenqing
In the complicated world, there is a kind of person who is straightforward and honest, and has a strong personality, known as "rectum".
They are like uncarved jade, although they are simple, they will inevitably hit a wall.
The ancients said: "The wood is beautiful in the forest, and the wind will destroy it." "People with a straight intestine often hit their heads and bleed on the road of life because they are too straightforward to express.
There is a saying in the Analects: "A gentleman wants to be obedient to his words and sensitive to deeds." This admonishes us that a true gentleman should be careful with his words and act with agility.
However, this is often overlooked by straight-hearted people, who speak bluntly and leave no room for it, and who are prone to offending others without knowing it.
This kind of character flaw makes them suffer repeated setbacks in their lives and even face irreparable difficulties.
There are not a few straight characters in history. For example, Qu Yuan, who was belittled for his outspokenness, was admired for his loyalty and straightforwardness, but he also paid a heavy price for it.
Another example is Ji Kang, one of the Seven Sages of the Bamboo Forest, whose frankness and uninhibition made him famous all over the world, but in the end he was killed because of it.
These examples show us that people with rectums, despite their valuable qualities, also need to learn to protect themselves in complex relationships.
Seeing that at the wedding banquet of the Gu family's mansion, a group of people quarreled and dispersed together to watch the play, leaving Mrs. Zhang alone in the courtyard to watch, and the loneliness of Uncle Guo leaving with his concubine Xiao Xu,
suddenly felt that her straightforward nature was a disadvantage.
Looking back at the reason for the quarrel, I once again feel that people with straight intestines have a rough fate and can easily hit the south wall.
Today, the scene of Uncle Zhang's eldest lady and the noble concubine Xiao Xu's quarreling at the wedding banquet of the Gu family's mansion is used to interpret how the rectum causes trouble, and he doesn't know how he suffers.
One, Xiao Xu's who writes desire on his face.
Is it OK to have thick skin?
I think it's good, at least it's much better than having low self-esteem and being thin-skinned.
Xiao Xu, the third sister of Uncle Guo's concubine's deceased wife, followed Uncle Guo and the original partner to the Gu family to celebrate the joy of the house.
When he saw Gu Tingye, he greeted him directly, and he was not inferior at all because of his status as a concubine.
The original lady Zhang said: Since the general has a concubine to serve, forgive me for going home and relocating.
This sentence is an angry sentence, but it is also a rhetoric that the original lady Zhang took out to force Uncle Guo to choose between herself and the concubine Xiaojie.
Gu Tingye hurriedly stopped it, because on the formal occasions of the Song Dynasty, ordinary concubines could not attend.
And Uncle Guo remained silent, not saying a word, not knowing whether to be embarrassed, or not wanting to offend, or wanting to avoid and wipe the mud.
At this time, the concubine Xiao Xue said without scruples: Sister, you can go back with confidence! I will certainly serve a good official.
This reminds me of a saying: as long as you are not embarrassed, it is others who are embarrassed.
At this time, the original Mrs. Zhang was also blocked: You want me to go back, but why should I go? It's not me who is ashamed.
In this way, both of them accompanied Uncle Guo to attend the Gu family's banquet.
Because Gu Tingye has a good relationship with Uncle Guo, he said that it is not good for you to bring a concubine at the main banquet!
Uncle Guo looked at a loss, the original Mrs. Zhang was angry, and the happiest was Xiao Xu.
Thick-skinned people do not suffer, do things with the maximization of their own interests as the key point, and do not consider the mood and interests of others.
However, if you write your desires in two ways and will not hide them, you will suffer a big loss after all.
Why?
Because the daughter's family is powerful, don't put it outside, and if you put it outside, it won't be the best thing, and it will be slandered.
Desire is the same.
Such a concubine who attends the banquet with desire and cheekiness, even if she is the imperial concubine and the noble concubine who has a fate, is still slandered.
At the wedding banquet, a noble lady came out to slander Xiao Jie's family: It has really changed the sky, and the concubine dares to go out to the banquet?
Second, it is easy to become a straightforward lady of chess pieces.
I am in ("Know" from Minglan's situation in the family dispute, interpreting the weaving of rumors and the death of group wisdom. )
Specially analyzed and summarized the character of Mrs. Zhang, straightforward and strong, with a strong sense of justice, not afraid of power, this kind of character is easy to speak up, but it is also easy to be used by people with intentions.
Mrs. Zhang only relied on a few rumors about Minglan from the Sheng family, Mrs. Qin and Aunt Kang, and she was angry to tear Minglan apart.
Third, conflict within a conflict.
1. The beginning of slander and dispute
"You said that this Zhang family married into the Shen family, and it has been more than half a year! But I haven't seen them in the same room a few times. ”
"I still want her to have a baby, it's just a dream."
Xiao Xu's and the people around him talked about Mrs. Zhang like this.
Mother Fan, who was beside Mrs. Zhang, pulled Xiao Xu's and said angrily: You thief woman, you dare to slander the housewife.
The maids beside Xiao Xu's side also came out to protect the lord: What to do? What kind of thing are you, dare to pull and pull at our girl?
This Xiao Shi is really a person who writes desire, jealousy, hatred, and the careful thoughts of his daughter's family on his face.
Such a person will not come to the trick, but will only come to the knife, which is actually very easy to clean up.
The eldest lady of the Sheng family is such a character, and she is attracted to Lin Xiaoniang's way every time.
Concubine Hua is also temperamental, many times the queen has had a fetus, and in the end Concubine Hua has taken the blame.
If Mrs. Zhang is Lin Xiaoniang, if she is the queen, there must be a way to govern it properly.
However, it's a pity that Mrs. Zhang is also the same character.
Xiao Jie's slander of Mrs. Zhang, the angry reaction of the people around Mrs. Zhang to this slander, and Mrs. Zhang's personality laid the groundwork for subsequent disputes and conflicts.
Seeing this, as long as you understand the temperament of Xiao Yi and Mrs. Zhang, you can basically infer that there will be a big conflict in the future.
2, the confrontation between the straightforward Mrs. Zhang and Xiao Xu's
Mrs. Zhang saw it and stopped Fan's mother.
But she came over and went straight to the court: What did you just say?
Xiao Xu: Big lady, I didn't say anything just now. Just guess if you can speak our Yuzhou dialect, have you ever drunk our Yuzhou wine......
Mrs. Zhang: You're a vixen.
Xiao Yi said so much, it was nothing more than wanting to use the similarity between her and the general from Yuzhou to carry out female competition.
It's childish and ridiculous to say.
But anyone who has some connotation feels frivolous.
However, this aroused Mrs. Zhang's anger, at least her tone and words in reply exposed the discomfort in her heart and her jealousy.
Xiao Yi and Mrs. Zhang began to fight each other, and the atmosphere was tense.
This kind of scene of ignoring his identity and opening up in front of everyone's eyes vividly shows the straightforwardness and impulsiveness of Mrs. Zhang, as well as Xiao Jie's provocation and pride after provocation.
3. The mediation of everyone and the loss of control of Mrs. Zhang
Uncle Guo's own sister wants to calm things down: she is young and ignorant, and on this occasion, it is ugly, so I will take her down first.
Ordinary people, with a little bit of brains and rationality, will go down the slope and get off the donkey, and this matter will be over.
Mrs. Zhang's straightforward temperament poured her anger on Uncle Guo's sister: She is young and ignorant, and you have never seen sensible when you are old.
It will offend one person, and it will not speak to offend a group of people. is talking about people like Mrs. Zhang.
The word "you" can represent all the onlookers around, most of the onlookers are watching the excitement, and many don't even know the ins and outs of the matter.
Besides, this is a matter of Uncle Guo's family, and it has nothing to do with others, are others too old and sensible to stop Xiao Jie's from talking?
Does Mrs. Zhang think that everyone in the world is her kind of stupid who can be brainless anytime and anywhere, without analysis, and just rely on a few superficial words from others to exude a sense of justice?
Suddenly the toilet threw a bomb, which aroused the anger of the people, and everyone collectively crusaded against her: How do you speak.
Xiao Xu's was even more arrogant, and Mrs. Zhang was emotionally out of control.
Under the mediation of everyone, Mrs. Zhang should have calmed down, but she poured her anger on her uncle and sister, and cursed the people around her, further intensifying the conflict.
The contradiction in the future is the negative result of Mrs. Zhang's straightforward personality.
It seems that Uncle Guo's life at home will not be much better, two of the same rectum are jealous at home every day, and they will start to fight if they don't agree, and the family is about to become a battlefield.
Now that I think about it, Sheng Hong is still blessed, there is a big lady with an identity and straightforwardness to support the Sheng family, and there is a gentle and considerate concubine who has a conflict and forbearance every time to do the interpretation of the flower.
Even if Lin Xiaoniang is dressed, I think it is much better in public than Zhang Da Niang's direct scolding.
Fourth, Minglan mediation and Mrs. Zhang's accusation
Dan Tang hurriedly ran over to stop this farce: the front yard is open, please all the ladies to take a seat.
Minglan also stepped forward and accompanied her with a smiling face: I think it was because the family was not well entertained, and the subordinates did not serve well. Mrs. Zhang, you will bear with me.
Minglan was polite to give the two sides a step down, so that this quarrel could land smoothly, and obviously paid more attention to and respected Mrs. Zhang.
However, Mrs. Zhang was straightforward and didn't turn crooked, and scolded Minglan directly: You don't behave much.
What is it called?
It is called a stinky and hard bone that does not know how to lift, and does not eat soft and hard. If it was a wild man, this kind of temperament might scare away some people who wanted to bully him, but unfortunately, Mrs. Zhang was an extremely noble and pampered lady, and the head of the country's uncle's house.
Her reply of not giving Minglan face directly exposed her quality, although it looked very rigid.
Xiao Xu: Sister, you are right to scold me, why bother to open up the sinner Mrs. Sheng?
Mrs. Zhang: You are crying and miserable now, pretending to be pitiful to anyone.
This is very similar to Concubine Hua's sentence: A slut is hypocritical.
People with a straightforward temperament, do things and talk straightforwardly, and don't like people who are pretentious the most.
Minglan: Mrs. Zhang, it's about to start, why don't we go to the front yard and listen to the Nanqu opera?
Minglan still gave Mrs. Zhang a reason to leave.
But Mrs. Zhang didn't mean to come at all, and directly taught everyone with Nanqu opera.
These words sound like teaching both Minglan and Xiaoyi.
It's kind of harsh anyway.
Minglan put on a high hat for Mrs. Zhang, and tried to pull her hand, which was almost.
Mrs. Zhang directly dumped Minglan : You don't have to be here, give me a smile, I know what you think in your heart......
What is called a dog biting Lu Dongbin, I don't know the hearts of good people, I am talking about Mrs. Zhang.
Mrs. Zhang's way of speaking when she sees who bites whom, even if she is reasonable at first, and someone stands on reason and has a heart towards her, she will eventually be chilled by her.
Many people may guess that the reason why she married into the Shen family and didn't have sex a few times in most of the year was caused by her temperament.
Remember, this kind of temperament is really a loss, and it will make itself unreasonable.
Minglan tried to mediate, but Mrs. Zhang didn't appreciate it at all, shifted the object of hatred, and blamed Minglan for it.
In this paragraph, it shows Aunt Zhang's dilemma in interpersonal communication.
Fifth, the escalation of the conflict and the departure of the crowd
Xiao Xu: Big lady, Mrs. Sheng didn't offend you anything, why do you always target others like this?
Minglan: Dan Tangerine, you can help the lady of the Yi family to rest first!
Xiao Jie's family left, Zhang's maid's maid Fan's mother did not give up, and went up to tear Xiao Jie's family, looking like she was going to fight, everyone began to fight, and the scene was out of control for a while.
There will be a master of any kind of character, a handmaid of all kinds, a master of any kind of way, and a slave of all kinds of ways.
Xiao Jie's has already left, and Fan's mother, as the maid of Mrs. Zhang, stepped forward to tear and pull, to give some color, not to care, not to protect the image of Mrs. Zhang as the housewife in front of people, and blindly entangled not to suffer immediate losses.
It's really a sight to behold.
In the end, Gu Tingye and Uncle Guo also came to fight. Uncle Guo pulled Xiao Xu's away, and the whole yard was gone, leaving a lady Zhang to wither alone in the wind, giving people a tragic feeling.
looks a little lonely, but this temperament, this way of talking and doing things, can only get such an ending.
Fourth, why did Mrs. Zhang escalate the conflict.
Next, I want to analyze, what caused Mrs. Zhang to escalate the conflict again in the conflict?
First, a straightforward character.
Mrs. Zhang is a straightforward and frank person, and when faced with conflict, she is more inclined to express her thoughts and feelings directly, rather than avoiding or procrastinating.
This kind of character is very, very bad, although most of such people are well-behaved, have no bad intentions, and sit upright and act rightly.
But because the method is too direct, it is easy to be used as a pawn, easy to offend people, and framed by others.
Second, safeguard rights and interests.
She believes that her rights have been violated or challenged, so she chooses to directly conflict to defend her rights.
To protect rights and interests, we also have to see what rights and interests are, and is it useful to maintain them?
Could it be that arguing with Xiao Jie's for a few words will make Uncle Guo think that she is better than Xiao Jie's?
Before directly safeguarding this kind of rights and interests, we must think more, compare more, and measure more.
Third, emotionally driven.
In some cases, emotions drive people to engage in behaviors that are in direct conflict.
Mrs. Zhang felt angry, dissatisfied, or frustrated when the conflict occurred, so she chose to express these emotions directly.
Most straightforward people belong to emotional women, doing things and talking emotionally first, and emotions are dominant.
The eldest lady of the Sheng family and Concubine Hua are like this, they can't control their emotions, and let their emotions dominate their lives. I've broken it down in many articles.
Fourth, lack of communication skills.
Mrs. Zhang lacked effective communication skills and did not know how to handle conflicts in a gentler or more effective way.
As a result, she prefers direct conflict rather than looking for a solution to a problem.
Communication skills need to be learned, and they need to be observed, and they need to predict the reaction of the other party after speaking, which is more complicated.
However, as long as you are dealing with people, this skill must be cultivated.
Fifth, cultural or social background.
Mrs. Zhang is the only daughter of a British public family, and she has been influenced by the style of military generals in her family since she was a child, and regards direct conflict as a manifestation of courage and determination.
Coming from such a background, she is more inclined to direct conflict.
Concubine Hua is also from the family of military generals, and so is Concubine Duan, and the reason why Concubine Duan changed in the end is because of the result of education through many things experienced in the palace.
In my article ("The Legend of Zhen Huan" learned Zhen Huan's "tactfulness", and he is a top-notch person wherever he goes), I specifically broke down the reasons why military generals can't fight civilian officials.
The direct conflict used by the military generals is placed on the battlefield and is a symbol of heroism, but when it is placed in dealing with people, it will inevitably create conflicts because it is too direct.
Fifth, how can a person with a rectum avoid hitting the south wall?
There are so many bad people in the rectum, so how do we avoid hitting the south wall?
First of all, we should learn to control our emotions, keep a cool head, and not say hurtful words because of the impulse.
Second, we need to improve our emotional intelligence, learn to empathize, understand the positions and feelings of others, and express our opinions in a more tactful way.
Finally, we should also maintain a humble attitude, keep learning, and improve our overall quality to adapt to the changing social environment.
You must know that in this world full of uncertainties, only those who continue to learn and improve can be invincible.
"The sea is tolerant of all rivers, and tolerance is great." We should also learn to tolerate and accept different voices and perspectives, and understand and accept the world with a broad mind.
Only in this way can we go further on the road of life and avoid the tragedy of hitting the south wall.
The reason why I took the trouble to decompose the conflict escalated by Mrs. Zhang is because I also have such a temperament, and many people with such a temperament around me have a rough fate and suffer countless losses, the key is that I don't know it.
I want to tell myself when I write it, and I also tell people with such a temperament to correct it quickly.
I am a creator in the emotional field, I like to study marriage and love, gender relations, hate moral preaching, like to dig into the root of things to solve and analyze problems, if you like it, welcome to follow me.