Recently, the "fat cat incident" that has been hotly discussed on the Internet has attracted much attention. Because many times things have a big reversal, so I observed it for a few days, and according to the known situation, I roughly summarized that this boy fat cat has paid a lot just for a girlfriend who he has only met twice and watched a movie together. Even life~
And then, under this girl's coquettishness, there are also all kinds of sweet words from husbands and husbands I love you!
This boy actually gave all his hard-earned money to this girl, and even he was very thrifty, and the chat history even said that he was very diligent in his work to make money just to coax his girlfriend to be happy, and there were even rumors on the Internet that the photos in his rental house did not even have a bed, which may sound a bit exaggerated.
But we can see that this boy is in love.
It's such a boy, we may see relatively rarely, so it has attracted widespread attention, but I can say that I see such a girl every day, although I don't give up my life after saving enough disappointment like "Fat Cat".
But I meet many such girls every day, although they have not reached the point of giving up their lives, why don't they keep giving, and even burning themselves to please and cater to each other?
So, can we really call them stupid?
It's not because they have a very strong expectation in their hearts, they expect their efforts to be seen by the other party, and they expect that after they have paid, the other party can love themselves well, in fact, they hope that the other party can save themselves.
Well, you see, I've seen it a lot in my consulting career.
For example, I came into contact with a student last month, how do you feel it?
This student had a marriage at the age of 37, and then, after this divorce, he was single for several years, and now he has a boyfriend who is more than ten years younger than him.
This boyfriend is young and handsome, and the most important thing is that he will coax people and make the students feel that they have met love.
After encountering love, how does this girl maintain her so-called "love".
You see, the students told me these things, you can feel it.
1. When "playing cards", although there is some resistance in my heart, I choose not to take safety measures in order to take into account the so-called "bad feelings" of the other party.
Second, after pregnancy, the other party clearly doesn't want it, but the student stupidly thinks that we should leave a crystallization of love, as long as the child is born, he will love me more.
Third, the other party is young and has no job, plays games all day long, and even has a little D Bo, and owes a lot of debts.
Well, but this girl thinks that if I help him pay off his debts, he will love me more.
Fourth, she sent me some photos showing her scars after being abused by the other party. One of the pictures made me very distressed, but she asked me, "Every time I quarrel with him, he hits me, teacher, how can I not quarrel with him?" ”
This...... It seems that she still doesn't hurt!
You see, she hasn't taken care of her own safety and feelings. So this girl has some similarities with the "fat cat".
Many people have a giving personality, and they have a lot of similarities, mainly because they are too lacking in love. Just like the "fat cat", many people have analyzed his family of origin, and I won't elaborate too much here, but it is precisely because of the lack of love that they are particularly eager to find love. It's like when we're particularly thirsty, we see a glass of water and want to drink it, whether it can be drunk or not.
I learned about this girl's family background, she was raised by her grandparents when she was young. Because her parents are a bit patriarchal and have always taken her younger brother with her, she has been eager to be noticed and loved since she was a child.
She has studied hard since she was a child, and she very much hopes that her parents will love her because of her good grades, and she has always been a good girl. However, in the last relationship, she was hurt by a man.
In this relationship, she still wants to use her own efforts to desire to be rewarded, but I want to tell you that in the relationship, you blindly give
Instead of getting a return, it might break you.
Why did the "fat cat" give up his life?
Why did you choose to give up at such a young age and in such a good age?
It was because he had saved too many expectations and then all turned into disappointment, and he didn't resist it at that moment.
Is each of us really selfless when we give to each other?
In fact, each of us has an expectation in our hearts,
Looking forward to the other party being able to see our good,
Expect the other party to fall in love with us because of our efforts,
We hope that the other party will cherish us.
However, human nature is complex, and these expectations are not necessarily fulfilled, and when all these expectations turn into disappointment, people are bound to collapse. Over the years, I've seen too many silly girls with blood and tears coming to me.
So, love yourself well before loving someone, although this sentence has been said rotten, but I really hope that you can remember it in your hearts, write it in your hands, and write it in all the places you can see, even if it is your mobile phone wallpaper and so on.
Watch it every day and remind yourself that the world will love you only if you learn to love yourself well.
If you want to manage a relationship well, it must be because of the light that blooms after you love yourself, not because you blindly give, please and desire.
Be my student, even if everyone doesn't love you, please love yourself.
Because behind you, there is another one that I feel sorry for you!