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A few days ago, there was a post on the Internet about "Why does my boyfriend mind if I buy a house before marriage" caused a heated discussion on the whole network: Children, please stay away from this type of man.
Her headline read: "Help, why would my boyfriend mind if I buy a house before marriage?" ”
The girl's family conditions are good in all aspects, her parents are businessmen, and she herself has a high-paying job.
She has always felt that as a girl, no matter who she marries, she must have a house of her own, which is the sense of security she gives herself.
Then, the house she is currently looking at is in a good location and wants to plan to buy her first home before marriage.
As a result, after she mentioned this idea to her boyfriend, she was strongly protested by her boyfriend.
The boyfriend said to her twice and three times:
"The current housing market is not very good, I will regret it in the future, there is no need to spend money randomly, didn't I buy a house now, and we will not be together after marriage?"
Her boyfriend's family conditions are not bad, his parents are in the system, and he is also in the system, but his personal income is much lower than hers, and his monthly salary is just enough to pay off his premarital mortgage.
However, she and her boyfriend have only been together for less than three months, and they have no intention of getting married at present, so why can't they buy a house of their own?
As a result, her boyfriend had a big fight with her over the incident.
Not only that, but when most of her relatives learned that she planned to buy a house before marriage, their unanimous attitude was basically the same:
"What kind of house do you buy for a girl's family, can't you find a man with a house to marry, and save money!"
Therefore, the girl very much does not understand why she bought a house before marriage, and even her boyfriend should be angry if her relatives do not agree?
In this regard, many netizens ridiculed:
"His income is just enough to pay off his mortgage, so what about other expenses waiting for you? It's only been two or three months to talk about your money as your own money, and your mind is slippery + lack of ability, sisters are cautious. It is true that housing prices have fallen in the past two years, but you just need to really want to buy and choose carefully and not to pull too high leverage. ”
"Your money to buy a house is a pre-marital property, you can't spend it on him, of course he has to mind"
"Actually, you don't have the idea of getting married, you don't need to talk to him and refer to his opinion on such a big thing as buying a house, just buy it"
First of all, if the house is bought before marriage, it is personal property, and the purchase after marriage is the joint property of the husband and wife.
Secondly, why the man would mind if the woman had a house before marriage was because he was afraid of affecting the second home loan.
In fact, to put it bluntly, when the woman's economic strength is better than that of the man, it is difficult for the woman to be PUA, and buying a house is equivalent to not being able to control it.
I agree with a quote from a writer:
"Don't fall in love with someone who is calculating. Those who are calculating, they have to be carefully calculated even in love, as if in business life, love also has an expiration date, and they live in full accordance with the instructions for use. So such a man is unreliable. ”
A calculating person is more of an egoist, and when anything happens, he thinks of his own personal interests and will be even more selfish.
Therefore, when we meet a man who loves to calculate, we must also try to minimize our contacts to avoid being used by their interests.
The above incident reminds me of another thing.
A blogger in Zhejiang said that she has a good girlfriend, and her girlfriend and her boyfriend have been together for three years, and they have been dating since their freshman year.
The relationship between the girlfriend and the boyfriend has always been very good, and there has been no big quarrel, only occasionally there will be some small conflicts.
At the same time, her boyfriend's family conditions are not bad, just a little worse than her family, and there is a younger brother at home.
Before graduating, my girlfriend told her boyfriend that she wanted to study abroad, mainly because she wanted to have more employment options and enrich her life experience in the future.
Moreover, my girlfriend has also been preparing for going abroad for a long time and has also got an offer.
At the moment when her boyfriend learned that her best friend was going to study abroad, her boyfriend did not disagree with her going abroad because he didn't want to be in a different place, but he didn't support her very much.
Then one day, her boyfriend suddenly said to his best friend:
"My mom and dad would love to see you, and I want to take you home to meet my parents, they're all very nice."
My best friend wanted to refuse, but she was afraid that her boyfriend would be unhappy, so she had to agree.
When we met, her boyfriend's family was very enthusiastic and made a very hearty lunch.
Then before leaving, my boyfriend's mother also gave her best friend's favorite lipstick number and a bottle of perfume to her best friend.
Therefore, the impression of her boyfriend's family in her heart at that time was good.
Later, when her best friend was about to discuss going abroad with her parents, her boyfriend suddenly sent a bunch of messages to her best friend:
"Are you really going to study abroad? I can't bear you. You studied abroad, so what should I do? I'm waiting for you in China for a year, are we going to be in a different place for a year? Do you love me or UoM? Are you really willing to do it? ”
At the same time, her boyfriend's parents also did not approve of the girl studying abroad, feeling that the girl would have to marry sooner or later, and there was no need to waste money on studying abroad.
Not only that, but her boyfriend also wants her best friend to take out the cost of studying abroad and bear the down payment for the marriage house with him.
The most important thing is that the girlfriend really listened to her boyfriend and wanted to give up the offer of Manchester.
The blogger who learned the truth was dumbfounded, and couldn't believe that his sister would give up her future for love?
In fact, the person who truly loves you will definitely stand in your future, so how can it stop you from becoming better?
It's nothing more than that he's afraid that you're getting better and better, and if he doesn't deserve you, there's no way to PUA you.
I heard such a resonant sentence:
"In a relationship, you want to live a good life, but the calculating person thinks about how to squeeze out your value. To be soft on such a person is to be cruel to oneself. ”
The delicate calculating man, maybe he will not expose his ambition and greed in the early stage, but this kind of heart can not be hidden for a long time, rather than the more you love, the more chilling it is, it is better to stop the loss and stop investing in time when you find the clues.
There are many ways to love in this world. Some love to be selfish, and only think of satisfying themselves, and do not consider the feelings of the other person. And some love is very sincere, and everything is premised on the other party.
True love is never about possession, nor is it about conquering, but about fulfilling each other, letting each other be themselves, and making each other better.
A few days ago, I saw a love experience shared by a blogger on the Internet:
When she was with her ex, she always quarreled with her ex and couldn't see a future at all.
Because her ex has been counting her various shortcomings for PUA, she has self-doubt and thinks that she is a very bad person.
Even when they broke up, her ex was still slandering her in various ways, wishing her that she couldn't find a better boyfriend than him.
Three years later, she is in a relationship again, and the experience that this boyfriend brings her is a little different from before.
In the past, when she was with her ex, her ex always complained that she had bad teeth, causing her to dare not show her teeth every time she took pictures.
But now the current one is different, the current one will often encourage her, support her, and let her be bold to be herself.
When her inferiority complex and cowardice were revealed in front of the incumbent, the incumbent did not hit her with her shortcomings, but carefully cared for her self-esteem and constantly encouraged her.
For example, the current one will praise her for smiling well, make her dare to smile when taking pictures, and will also take pictures of her beautifully.
When the two of them play badminton together, she always loses points, but the current one keeps praising her for being good and great.
Now, she has been graduating for many years and wants to relearn some new skills to improve herself, and now she will encourage and support her.
In this way, with the encouragement of her current position, she not only successfully improved her ability, but also lived more and more confidently and beautifully.
想起了一句话：
"Good love is when you see the whole world through a man, and bad love is when you give up the whole world because of this man."
For a man, his best love is to let you be yourself, and it doesn't stop you from becoming good.
A relationship that doesn't make you better and doesn't make the other person better, then the relationship really isn't worth continuing.
A good love should be to support each other and achieve each other.
正如这样的一句话：
"The kind of person you meet, the kind of person you will become. Encountering the wrong person will make you irritable and complain. Meeting the right person will make you better and better. ”
A good relationship can make you better and better. In the process of falling in love, because you love him, you are willing to love life, love the world, and be willing to become a better version of yourself
所以，如果可以，去爱一个能让你变好的人吧。
Being with such a person can inspire your yearning for life and encourage you to find your own light.
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!
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