Today's Mother's Day, I wish myself happiness, and I wish all mothers in the world happiness, and I hope that all mothers in the world will stop rolling their children and roll themselves more.
Let's talk about my own mistakes in the past, a "great purge" of the soul.
When Brother Han was in elementary school, I adhered to the "happy education", as long as the child was happy, whatever homework was written, even if the teacher called me, I would help the child find a reasonable reason not to write homework.
The reason is probably that I had a very unhappy childhood, so I especially hope that my children can spend their childhood happily, as long as the children are happy and happy, what kind of learning and achievements can we talk about.
So in the face of children who don't write homework, don't listen to classes, don't memorize words and texts, I don't pay attention to it at all, anyway, as long as it's happy.
Of course, the key reason is that I have only been to the parent-teacher meeting in the six years of primary school, because the work unit is far away, and I don't want to take a full day off to deduct my salary, so I don't go to the parent-teacher meeting if I can.
When I went to the parent-teacher conference near the graduation of the sixth grade, I was stunned when I heard the teacher say that I was going to junior high school, and I had no plan for my child's junior high school, and I was confused.
Suddenly found that he hadn't taken care of his children's studies for six years, he had already chosen to be bad, and his lower middle grades were a bit unacceptable to me, what if I couldn't get into high school.
So, with a sense of crisis, I wanted to be a "chicken baby", so I chose the novelty of a private middle school with a good reputation near my home, and gave up zoning.
After arriving at the novelty, my chicken baby's heart was firm again, and spending money to go to the private office is not just to let the child's grades be raised, and to be admitted to a good high school, but if it is not good, go to the seventh high school next door to the novelty.
At that time, I had never even heard of the seventh high school, nor had I understood it, let alone any other high school, and I didn't hear about high school affairs, and I only cared about the happiness of my children.
But the end of happiness is panic, the results of the small promotion to the junior high school entrance examination are quite skinny, I remember taking the test of three languages, mathematics and English, the full score of each subject is about 60-80 points, the child's grades vaguely remember that it is 28, 32 and 27, the three subjects are less than 90 points, and it is the bottom of the class.
Looking at this bony achievement, my old face instantly felt unbearable, and my heart for the chicken baby became strong again.
Since then, I have been hard-hearted and cheeky to maintain high-frequency communication with teachers of various subjects, especially with the class teacher, Ms. Zhang, who communicates with the child's learning and school performance almost every day.
I have to say that the volume of children has an immediate effect, and it is visible to the naked eye that the grades and rankings are really rolled, and the crazy roll in a year and a half, from more than 460 rolls in the grade to the 8th place in the grade.
I thought that the curling baby was right, how crazy the roll is, how much room for the child to improve.
Not to mention that limitations limit thinking, I am crazy about rolling children, trying to make children rush to the first place in the grade. Especially when he was nine down, when he boosted the child to rush to the top three, he rolled too violently, and directly collapsed the child's mentality, and the child had a very serious psychological internal friction, which led to the collapse of every exam, and even the school didn't want to go.
Counting the misunderstandings of my children, there are three fatal misunderstandings:
The first misunderstanding: crazy to roll children, not to roll themselves.
Consciousness and thinking are the first problems, and in my eyes, only children should sprint for grades, so that they can go to a good school and have a good future.
This is all the support that supports my child, the child can't fight his father can't fight his mother, he can only test his own hard work, to get a better starting point and future.
That's the most outrageous thing I got wrong, when I'm madly rolling up kids, when I'm instilling these ideas in kids, what I don't know is implanting kids with ingrained stressors.
Although the child's grades are good, he is very psychologically fragile, has a weak ability to withstand pressure and accept frustration, is prone to self-denial and inferiority, and always feels that as long as his grades are not good, he is a waste.
My original intention was to make my children motivated, but because of my wrong practices, I made my children feel inferior and deny themselves.
What should really be done is to roll yourself, when the mother is good enough, motivated enough, and keeps growing and learning, the child will naturally get better.
When the mother rolls herself first, the child will naturally not be bad.
The second misunderstanding: desperately supervise and study, strict requirements.
Since my child was in junior high school, I quit my job and stayed at home, doing self-media while managing my children's studies. There is only learning in the eyes, only grades.
Chatting with children from morning to night, every sentence is not far from grades and learning, and urging that is also called very good.
As long as the child does not study for more than 30 minutes, I will yell and push him to urge him to study and brush up on the questions.
On weekends and holidays, as long as I don't get up at 8 o'clock, I prepare a ruler and start beating my palms to wake up the child, or use cold water to wake the child up in the winter, so that he can get up to study.
Whenever there is a drop in the grades, I will do a lot of analysis of the test papers, and then make a strict sprint plan for the child, urging him to complete, and if he does not finish, he will not be relentless.
Now that I think about it, at that time, I was a little "crazy" for my children's learning, and everything could be thrown away in order to learn.
The third misunderstanding: more anxious than children, coercion and temptation.
Because I care too much about my child's grades, in addition to grades in my eyes, I think that even if I want to go to the top 10 in this grade, it is not stable to go to the third year, and the child is easy to get on a roller coaster of grades, and the curse that will collapse in every exam can never be broken.
returned the child's situation to him and analyzed it comprehensively, and asked him to be sure that all the simple questions must be correct, and he could not lose a single point, otherwise he would be crushed.
Now that I think about it, I was really stupid, knowing that my child was under pressure, and I kept pressuring. Anxiety has made me lose all reason and judgment and thinking, and I only have scores in my eyes.
A seemingly diligent and dedicated mother is actually a super "rotten" parent, who wants her children to do what she can't do.
If I could turn back time, I would really like to hug my poor Brother Han, who was forced by me to become a learning machine, unhappy to learn and improve under my high-pressure management.
The wrong practices of the past are always knocking on me, and it constantly reminds me: if you are wrong, you must correct it, and it is better to roll yourself than to roll the baby.
Fortunately, I really woke up and no longer forced my children to learn, but continued to optimize myself, let myself grow faster, learn more ideas, make my eyelids not so shallow, be able to see farther, stand taller, and put a longer front.
Multi-roll mom, don't roll the child. Influencing children with their own changes is the most correct and romantic way I can think of to accompany my children to learn.