Xiao Yue, a post-80s HIV-infected person, uses her perseverance and affectionate brushstrokes to unveil a journey of life that she has personally experienced, and to call on all young people to cherish the preciousness of life.
At the age of 25, as a graduate of a well-known national university, Xiao Yue is already bright in her career. However, an indulgence ten years ago brought her to the brink of life and death - the infection of the HIV virus has become an indelible shadow in her life.
After experiencing the baptism of fear, escape, and despair, Satsuki mustered up the courage to tell her story. She hopes that through her own experience, she can warn those who have not yet been infected to cherish every moment and grasp every moment in life; At the same time, it also encourages those who have been infected to bravely face the challenges of life and be grateful for the care and help of the society.
During an unpaid blood donation, Satsuki learns the brutal truth that she is infected with HIV. In the face of this sudden blow, she once fell into the abyss of despair, and even had thoughts of suicide. However, when she thought of her parents' nurturing grace and the beauty of life, she instantly dispelled this idea and decided to live bravely.
Xiao Yue admitted that it was very sour. She has fantasized countless times about exchanging all her savings for health, but she is willing to give everything for the sake of her parents. Now, the only thing she can do is to arouse people's attention, especially young people, to HIV/AIDS through her story, so that more people can cherish life and live in the present.
HIV infection was found during unpaid blood donation
Reporter: You are in a good mental state, and your body is okay?
Xiaoyue: Fortunately, life and work are as usual, and we must strengthen psychological hints and live in the present. (Wearing black-rimmed glasses and dressing up, Satsuki licks the grapefruit tea in the cup and smiles faintly)
Reporter: When did you know you were infected with HIV?
Xiaoyue: On October 19th, more than a month ago, when I went to donate blood, I actually had a bad premonition before.
Reporter: A sense of foreboding?
Satsuki: It's been a great year. Some college students can't find a job after graduation, and I have only been graduating from college for 2 years, and I have become the youngest middle-level leader in the unit, and I plan to buy a house at the end of the year. Seriously, I'm so happy that I wake up smiling when I go to bed at night.
Reporter: Do you remember the situation that day?
Satsuki: It's hard to forget. A week after donating blood, I didn't write back that the blood was fine, I took the initiative to call the Municipal Center for Disease Control and Prevention, and the doctor said, "HIV is a bit suspicious", and I felt that something was going to happen.
Reporter: I heard that you went for a test on the same day?
Satsuki: Take an HIV test when you leave work at noon. The five minutes I spent waiting for the results were measured in seconds, and my mind went blank, and I kept praying in my heart that "it should be okay". The doctor took the results and called me by name and told the person next to me to avoid them, and I knew that the situation was not good.
"You do have an infection", the doctor said. Instantly, my scalp was numb, my hands and feet were cold, my whole body was shaking, I kept drinking water, and I repeatedly asked myself, "Is this a dream?" ”
Reporter: At that time, you must not have been willing to accept this fact, right?
Satsuki: Well, I pulled my hair with both hands and asked only one sentence, "How long will I live?"
"7-10 years", the doctor's answer echoed in my ears, and I staggered to the side of the road, looking at the vehicles coming and going, the hurried pedestrians, and everyone seemed to be laughing at me.
(Tiantong Xiaobian interjected: Current research shows that HIV-infected patients can live to their expected life expectancy as long as they are detected early and are treated with good compliance)
"I'm dead, what about my parents? I haven't been filial to them yet. What about my job? They need me. Question marks kept echoing in my mind, I slapped my chest hard, tears flowed down, and at that moment, I dialed the "Erge" phone and said, "I am infected", and he replied that he came from Beijing to see me in 3 days.
Reporter: "Erge" is your good friend?
Satsuki: I guess it's my ex-boyfriend. In 2003, I was admitted to a well-known university in the country, and I knew my true emotions at that time.
"Erge" appeared in 2006, and then I was working in a big city in the north, and we broke up because the two of us were not in the same place. In 2009, I came to Shenzhen.
If you are already infected, then stay strong:
1. Please don't think back to the gloom of the past, because the road is walked by yourself, and no one can change the past;
2. We live at this moment, please use this moment to do more good deeds, honor your parents and relatives, be grateful to everyone around you, and contribute more to society, because at this moment you are being supported and helped by the country's welfare and care policies;
3. Please don't think about the distant future, please decompose your long-term goals into short-term goals, and live well towards your short-term goals;
4. Give full play to your strengths, participate in more public welfare activities, and make your life more meaningful; 5. There is hope in life, come on! ”
——Kozuki
Thinking of his relatives instantly dispelled the idea of suicide
Reporter: Listening to Professor Cai from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, you are the fastest among the infected people to accept reality?
Satsuki: I struggled for 3 days. After the first day home, I didn't dare to watch TV because I was afraid to see others happy. At night, looking out from the window of the house on the 20th floor, looking out of the bustling city, the shuttle traffic, and then looking at my own photography works and myself in the mirror, I feel that everything is meaningless. I pushed open the window, my head sticking out hard, and my right leg raised""
Reporter: Do you want to end your life?
Satsuki: (sighs) I thought about it, but I quickly dismissed it.
Reporter: What brought you back to your senses?
Satsuki: I can't jump, what if my parents leave me, it will also cause trouble for the people in the community.
Reporter: Your choice is correct! How did you spend the next two days?
Satsuki: Forcing myself not to remember the past, implying that if I am annoyed and decadent every day, it will be no different from dying tomorrow. On the third day, "Erge" came, and his way of comforting him was different from that of others, and he "taught" me to say, "If you continue to be decadent like this, you will die tomorrow." ”
Reporter: The words of "Erge" woke you up?
Satsuki: Hmm. I suddenly remembered a book that said, "No one can be sure whether tomorrow is still in this world, we can only grasp the here and now", yes, I am still alive, as long as I live, there is hope.
Reinvigorate to tell the story of life
Reporter: "A Life Story" tells about your personal experience?
Satsuki: Yes, my upbringing, my emotional experiences, and of course, my mental journey after being infected with HIV.
Reporter: How did you come up with the idea of writing a story about your own experience, or even making it public?
Satsuki: I want to write something for myself, and more importantly, through my own personal experience, to warn those who have not been infected, let them grasp this moment, encourage those who have been infected, please face life bravely, and be grateful to society.
Reporter: Isn't the process of writing quite uncomfortable?
Xiaoyue: It's very sour, I always think, I don't want all my savings, as long as I get back to health, for the sake of my parents, I am willing to marry a wife and have children, but I can't get it back, the only thing I can do is to arouse people's attention, especially young friends, to AIDS through my story.
Discrimination from the outside world and shame on oneself
Making life and treatment difficult for people living with HIV
I hope that everyone will be clean and self-conscious at the same time
Put AIDS in perspective
No discrimination, no transmission
HIV prevention starts with me