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After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"

After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"

Mommy OK

2024-05-08 16:10Posted in Zhejiang Parenting Creators

originally didn't want to talk about this topic, after all, the "fat cat incident" has been on the hot search for several days. But in the past two days, several friends have sent me WeChat, hoping that I can write.

Some friends want to know how to let their children not meet or identify this kind of "fishing girl" or "scumbag" in the future; A friend asked me if I could talk to my child about it!

After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"

Well, when a mother's heart is the same, as soon as the incident comes out, my first reaction is to talk to OK. OK After listening to the incident, the first sentence was to ask me, Mom, why does this woman keep asking the man for money, how can the man think that it is love?

When he asked such a question, I was relieved, he has his own good thinking path! "Yes, my mother thinks it's a little strange like you, but this boy really thinks it's love, and everyone's perception of emotions is different......"

Then we chatted, in fact, how to talk, there is no fixed template, but the premise is that we have to know the children's cognition and feelings of love, and then have guidance in stages. Let's talk about it today, if you have anything to say, please leave a message at the bottom of the article~

▽

Let me first give you the ins and outs of the incident.

"Fat Cat" is the screen name of a 21-year-old Hunan boy. His parents divorced when he was a child, and he lived with his sister, and his original family was a mess.

He didn't go to college and made a living by doing game boosting. Fortunately, he is quite talented in this area, making a game sparring partner for 25 yuan, he is diligent day and night, saving money one by one, and his annual income is two or three hundred thousand.

Then he met a 28-year-old Chongqing girl, Xiaozhu, on the Internet. The photos posted by Xiaozhu on social platforms look very beautiful, and after knowing that fat cats are quite profitable as boosters, they are particularly enthusiastic and proactive. After chatting for a long time, the two fell into an online relationship.

After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"

Xiaozhu didn't want a long-distance relationship, so the fat cat took a green train for more than ten hours to Chongqing. But after Ben appeared, Xiaozhu put the fat cat aside, and let the fat cat rent a narrow rental house by herself, not only did she fulfill her previous promise to "live together after a period of time", and the number of times she met the fat cat was only a handful.

But the fat cat fell deeper into this "ethereal" relationship, Xiaozhu gave him whatever he wanted, and if he wanted to "open a shop", he gave her 4W in one breath, bought her an apple 15, and let her travel abroad...... 80% of the chat records of the two people are girls who ask for money, and the fat cat turns around with a large sum of money.

After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"
After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"

But the girl never cared about what kind of life the fat cat lived, how the money was saved, he didn't order more than 10 yuan for takeout, and there was no quilt on the bed in the rental house; The day and night game made the fat cat's body so empty that he vomited blood, but he was reluctant to go to the hospital at all.

After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"

Regardless of whether Xiaozhu's attitude towards him is hot or cold, Fat Cat always feels that one day the two of them will get married. But in April of this year, Xiaozhu probably found it boring, and she ruthlessly proposed to break up.

In the early morning of April 11, he committed suicide by jumping into the river in Chongqing. The day before committing suicide, he transferred all the savings in his bank card of more than 60,000 yuan to Xiaozhu, remarking "voluntary gift".

After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"

These chat screenshots and transfer records were all learned by my sister when I got his mobile phone after the fat cat passed away, and in anger, my sister exposed the truth on the Internet......

After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"

▽

Seeing the tragic experience of young men, it is really difficult not to think of their own children, after all, our children are only a few years away from puberty!

Like a few of my friends, the mother's friends in the office are also chatting energetically, and everyone generally thinks, "The fat cat must be a special lack of love in childhood, and a girl gives him a little sweetness, and he is easy to get into it with a hot head." ”

I agree with this, the fat cat may not realize that he blindly and unrequited giving, not how much he loves the girl, just to fill the "emotional black hole" in his heart, and gradually regards the other party as all the hope and fulcrum of his life.

But, then again, if we give our children enough love, can we ensure that they completely avoid "scumbags and scumbags" on the road of life, and will not be hurt or bloodied emotionally?

It's definitely not enough!

I have swiped a lot of articles and comments about the "fat cat" incident, all of which are saying that it is necessary to teach children to "love others first and foremost", this sentence is easy to say from the mouths of us middle-aged people, because we are all people who have been beaten by the wind and waves, we can see through people's hearts, and we also know how unworthy it is to put ourselves in for love, but it may not be for children.

They are still ignorant of love now, and after puberty, they will desperately crave this emotion, what is love? It is the most tempting apple in the Garden of Eden, and everyone wants to pick it and taste it, so be sure to find more opportunities to talk to their children about this topic before they get dizzy and suffer losses.

In terms of emotional issues, I even hope that my son is a "mom boy", this is not to say that my son will stick to me for the rest of his life, follow me, and find the other half according to my preferences, but I hope that my son is willing to share the little secrets hidden in his heart with me, and when he is emotionally uncertain, he can listen to my experience as a person who has come over, and my views may be outdated one day, but they can give him a loss of positive energy......

Of course, I also know that our babies are still young and have not yet reached the stage of "falling in love", so how to talk about the topic of love, how to talk about it, and to what extent it is enough to talk about it, and share some of my superficial experience.

#01

The child is receiving love letters, that's not "early love"

Today's babies are much more precocious than our generation, and they are more concerned about the relationship between the sexes. OK Now in the fourth grade, there have been all kinds of "xx is xx's girlfriend" in the class, and according to him, these are not new at all.

My friend, who is a primary school teacher, complained to me that the first and second grade children in her class began to binge on "cp" (pairing boys and girls who are close to each other and play well), and the small notes that were secretly passed on were also intercepted by her several times.

Maybe we all instinctively think: What happened to the children of this era?!

However, in this era of huge amounts of information, when children talk about "love topics", they may want to show more of their own level of integration with the information.

On the other hand, babies at this age will indeed have a good impression of the opposite sex and will have an ignorant curiosity about love, but these cannot be regarded as "early love".

Therefore, before opening this topic with children, our own perceptions and judgments are very important. I agree with the definition of Hu Ping, an expert in children's sex education, in "Understanding Virginity", which defines children's exploration and attempt of "love" before adolescence as "the early practice of love".

Instead of buttoning the hat of "early love", it can be called "morning practice".

#02

When a child talks about the opposite sex he likes, he should be a competent melon eater

Love has never been a topic of secrecy in our family.

I shared in the article before that one day I was chatting with my son and asked him if he had any girls in the class he liked, and he replied very frankly: "I like some of them, but I don't like them very much." ”

The old mother's gossip heart was blazing: "Why? Is she good-looking? ”

Unexpectedly, his son said coldly: "Mom, like it or not, it's not just good-looking!" She has what I like, and there are some things I don't appreciate very much~"

啧啧,还挺成熟理智!

My son and I quipped, "If you like any girl in the future, you can tell your mother, and I will help you chase it together!" ”

After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"

△ Source: Little Red Book

Once, he came back and whispered to me, Mom, do you know that classmate Z and classmate H are in love!

"Ah, how do you know?"

"Because they get together after class to chat, fight and make trouble, everyone says they are a couple!"

I smiled, "Look at your 'gossip', in fact, they are not in love, but they can talk to each other and appreciate each other." That's normal! “

My son laughed, and he would come back to talk to me about anything in the future, but he no longer thought it was "abnormal".

#03

The best class to learn about love is reading

Many people say that the best love education for children is that fathers love mothers, the harmony of the family atmosphere, and the harmony between parents.

But I want to say: the best class to learn about love is reading.

It is not that people who have entered marriage have a mature view of love, and middle-aged people's understanding of love may not be comprehensive and objective.

In various classic literary works, "love" is always an unavoidable topic, and it also has the most delicate, vivid and three-dimensional expression of love. For example, "Notre Dame de Paris", "The Red and the Black", "Jane Eyre", etc...... Although children are not yet old enough to read most of the famous books, from the second and third grades, there are many materials to discuss in the designated reading list outside the classroom.

For example, when I was in the third grade, I finished reading "Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Tales" and "Grimm's Fairy Tales" with my son, and these two fairy tale collections were designated by the school to read.

"Grimm's Fairy Tales" has a name called "King Thrush" I was very impressed, the old king chose a horse for the princess, there was a neighboring king with a thrush mouth was disliked by the princess, and finally after going around and around, the princess still married the thrush-mouth king, and regretted that the attitude was too arrogant at that time, and almost missed the good match.

After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"

After reading the story, I said, "The pampered little princess is really a face control, but she can understand it!" ”

OK disagreed, saying that I was as superficial as the little princess, and he said that in addition to being good-looking, people should also see whether the soul under the skin is interesting.

Therefore, by reading literary and artistic works, children can have a clearer understanding of "love".

#04

Only by knowing love can we harvest true love

What is love? I like the definition of the ancient Greek philosopher Plato, who said that love is the desire of the human heart to find the other half and make oneself more complete.

He used a vivid story as an analogy -

"Humans used to be creatures with four arms, four legs, and two faces, and once when they angered the gods, Zeus split them all in half. Therefore, human beings are eager to find the fragments of their other half of their souls in the world, and love is the desire to make themselves whole again. ”

Translated into the vernacular, it means that when you are bored, you have someone to talk to, when you go home, someone to eat with, and you can have a comfort and encouragement when you are wronged outside; Life is too long, and you always have to find someone to work together to live a more enjoyable life.

This is of course the most beautiful and happiest experience in the world, and we can't doubt love, doubt human nature, and teach children not to give first in their feelings because of a few extreme events on the Internet.

Love is always worth believing in and expecting from us, but the premise is that you must figure out whether the other party is worthy of your sincerity.

If you can't wait for the right person, don't be depressed, the world is originally rich, diverse and vast, we can find other fulcrums to make our lives rich and happy.

Whether you live well or not in a lifetime is not just one path.

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  • After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"
  • After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"
  • After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"
  • After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"
  • After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"
  • After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"
  • After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"
  • After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"
  • After the fat cat incident, I said to my son, "You should be a mom boy~"

Personal opinion, for reference only

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