I have friends around me who complain that I am very annoyed by the neighbor's children, and I can come 5 days a week, 7 days a week. On the last day of the holiday, the child's mother said in advance that the child was coming over, but my friend politely refused. Other times, they knock directly on the door and don't say hello in advance. The child often eats at my friend's house, and his family doesn't ask the child to go home when the meal comes. As soon as the child arrived at my friend's house, he ran away from Kuku, and was approached twice by the downstairs neighbor, and each time my friend reminded the child not to run.
I casually rummaged through my friend's snack cabinet, opened it and ate it without saying hello, and went directly to my friend's bed to play if I didn't go home to change clothes when I went out...... My friend also couldn't bear it anymore and complained to me many times.
We often hear this kind of praise "This child is very good, the tutor is very good", in fact, it means that other people's children have a sense of boundaries.
For example: when you go to someone else's house, you can't just rummage through other people's drawers, and you have to ask before playing with toys, can I play with this?
You can't take your toys or books home when you go to kindergarten or school, because they don't belong to you. This tutor actually refers to a "sense of boundary"!
After children enter kindergarten and primary school, if they do not understand the sense of boundaries, it is easy to suffer losses, and it will also cause social barriers.
In the long run, it will also have a great impact on the child's personality. Therefore, it is important to teach children these basic boundaries in advance.
First: Understand what is yours and what is mine.
Before adults take their children's toys and books, ask your child's opinion, "Can I take your doll?"
This is to tell the child what a sense of boundaries is. Respect you and ask you before others take your things. In the same way, children will know what to do when they take other people's things.
Second: Let children know how to say no
If someone else wants something from you, but you don't want to give.
Tell your child to say, "I can't give this to you right now, because I need him too."
This is to refuse the unreasonable demands of others and defend one's own boundaries.
Third: If you refuse someone's request, he says you're being stingy.
Tell your child to say, "You can't say that about me, because it's mine."
This is to teach children that they must have the courage to say no.
Fourth: If others don't listen to you, you can't force it
For example, if you read a picture book to your child, you will want to listen to it after reading it 5 times.
If you divert attention and say, "Mommy wants to go to the bathroom, let's not talk about it", this will make the child have no sense of boundaries.
The correct way to do this is to gently and firmly tell the child, "Mommy is tired now and needs to stop and rest." ”
The sense of boundaries is based on one's own feelings and is free from emotions and hostility.
Helping your child develop a sense of boundaries is to make them understand that everyone's feelings need to be respected. And when a child establishes this sense of boundaries from an early age, he will immediately recognize the aggression of others. It is equivalent to digging a moat for him to protect himself.
Therefore, people who teach children what is a sense of boundaries as early as possible, and who know how to respect others and respect their own feelings will be more popular in social interactions!