#头条创作挑战赛#
The Tang Dynasty poetess Li Ye wrote in the poem "Eight Solstice": "The highest is the sun and the moon of tomorrow, and the closest relatives are the most alienated husband and wife." ”
This statement speaks to the sense of alienation that can be both extremely intimate and possible in a marital relationship.
People in the world often have a longing for love, thinking that love is an eternal vow to join hands and not distinguish between each other.
However, the storms of reality often come unexpectedly, and those souls who were once extremely close may slowly deviate and drift away due to the grind of life.
Husband and wife, the existence of the closest relatives in this world, may also become the strangest travel companions.
Especially when one party crosses certain boundaries, such as deciding the following three things for the other party without authorization, the marriage boat may encounter a crisis of capsizing, and the other side is out of reach.
Don't take all of your partner's responsibilities
A wise man said: "It is also happy to be alone, and it is more fortunate to be together." ”
Once the scales of love are tilted, excessive sacrifice will eventually breed suffering.
The establishment of a family requires both parties to walk towards each other in order to survive the heat and coldness of the world together.
Ximei writer shares his personal experience:
Newly married Yan'er, she took pity on her partner who went out to struggle, and resolutely shouldered the heavy responsibility of the family.
However, her husband did not know how to do housework, and he repeatedly added chaos and little help, and finally she was responsible for all the family affairs.
Cleaning up after meals, washing clothes, picking up and dropping off children, all trivial, only she is busy.
One day, when I returned from my mother's house, as far as the eye could see, the house was full of chaos, garbage overflowed, and clothes were scattered.
The husband said: "The gentleman is very good, I am in a hurry to wash a few pieces, and the wardrobe is exhausted." ”
This sentence angered Ximei, and she returned to her parents' house angrily.
If the pressure of life is borne by only one person, how can you be exhausted?
Partner's life is really a mutual support, both pay attention and hard work, both are indispensable, and both parties need to actively intervene.
When Liang Sicheng was running around, Lin Huiyin was cooking at home and having fun with his son.
When Lin Hui lingered on the sickbed, Liang Sicheng resolutely shared the housework, sewing and washing the pulp, and took care of everything.
Although the times are in a hurry and there are occasional frictions, happiness is still pervasive.
"Moulin Rouge" has a cloud: "There is nothing more beautiful in the world than to give each other's hearts." ”
The essence of marriage is equality, and the same should be true between partners.
Unilaterally carrying everything will only breed the inertia of the other party in spoiling.
One person is busy, the other is idle and watching, and the inner resentment arises, and disputes ensu.
Life should be a pas de deux, you charge ahead, and I stabilize the rear.
Pick up the burden of life together, make the heart closer, the love deeper, and the daily trivialities also add color.
In good times, clasp hands, shoulder to shoulder, stand together through thick and thin, and go to a better future together.
Don't interfere in the other party's family affairs
Wang Zhiwen's sentence profoundly reveals the essence of marriage: "Marriage is essentially the union of two families. ”
Marriage, beyond the scope of the individual, is closely linked to the fate of two families.
Therefore, even if the husband and wife are extremely close, it is important to be cautious when it comes to each other's family affairs to avoid falling into an awkward situation.
"Six Tales of Floating Life" recorded a family turmoil:
The cause is small, Chen Yun is good at calligraphy, and was appointed to ghostwrite a family letter for her mother-in-law. However, the letter unexpectedly caused a misunderstanding.
The mother-in-law was dissatisfied with the unclear content of the letter and decided not to let Chen Yun ghostwrite.
On the other side, after receiving the letter, the father-in-law realized that the handwriting was not Chen Yun's, and he was suspicious, and said angrily: "I'm afraid your wife doesn't want to do it for you." ”
In another incident, her father-in-law wanted to find someone to take care of her life, and Chen Yun took the initiative to arrange for Yao's family to move in, and introduced her mother-in-law to the woman next door to her mother-in-law.
The truth was hard to hide, and the mother-in-law soon learned the details and asked face-to-face: "Since it is the girl next door, how did it become your father-in-law's side room?"
After that, her mother-in-law's dissatisfaction with Chen Yun intensified, and obstacles were erected everywhere, which eventually led to Chen Yun being expelled from the house.
Mr. Yang Jiang's wisdom reminds us: "Wise women, when faced with the affairs of their in-laws, will choose to turn a blind eye and do not interfere, and let them handle it themselves." ”
When families get along, there should be boundaries and intimacy in order to live in harmony.
Therefore, in the face of your partner's family strife, the best strategy is to keep your distance and avoid unnecessary involvement.
There is no more dangerous attitude in marriage than misaligning oneself and seeing oneself as the master of the family.
Staying out of the matter, silence is golden, and not taking a stand is the golden rule for maintaining harmony.
Keeping an appropriate distance, learning to "ignore" at the right time, and sticking to personal boundaries can earn respect and understanding in marriage.
Space for each other, don't set foot lightly
In the TV series "Golden Wedding", there is such a profound sentence: "Love is like sand in the palm of your hand, the tighter you hold it, the less it remains." ”
This reveals a common misconception that intimacy is intimate without boundaries.
However, the truth is often the opposite, too much love is easy to become a situation that is difficult to recover, and too close to each other may lead to the opposite of things, and happiness and deterioration.
When a person loses his personal space, even trivial matters need to be reported, this sense of suffocation and oppression quietly arises.
As Rene Liu said in her book "I Dare to Be Lonely in Your Arms": "The most ideal state of intimacy is to be able to enjoy loneliness in the arms of your lover." ”
This sentence aptly describes her respectful, independent but lifelong philosophy of marriage.
In their family life, both parties have their own territory, and the only meeting point is the shared kitchen and dining room, which is the space where they can spend their pleasure in life together.
Interestingly, even when they go out to watch a movie, they will choose different theaters, watch different movies, and then gather at home, each into a separate study and bedroom, and enjoy alone time.
In her daily life, the two of them are busy in their own way, she is immersed in the world of music, and he focuses on work and socializing.
They respect each other's interests and freedoms, never interfere, let alone control, and maintain a state of harmony without interference.
In the blink of an eye, this mode of getting along has not weakened their emotions, but has made this love sweeter and happier.
This proves that in a loving world, moderate distance and respect for personal space are one of the secrets to long-lasting relationships.
Zhou Guoping's words of wisdom remind us: "The supreme gift of true love is to give the other person free space." ”
The independence of the individual is like the blank space in a painting, which is indispensable.
Moderate distance, defined boundaries, and a breath of fresh air in an emotional relationship.
Giving private space is not indifference, but a display of deep trust and respect.
The ideal picture of marriage is willing to be shared in a small personal world, without forcing resonance, nor invading privacy, and living in harmony.
When the door is closed, I own my universe, and when the door is opened, I gladly go with you to the poetry and distance of life.
Free souls attract each other, and love does not become a bondage, but wings that help each other soar.
The moderate distance produces beauty, grasps the art of proportion, makes the soul the most ironed, and the white space is left behind, and love grows quietly.
As Wang Wenjuan, a master of Yue Opera, said: "Life is a long journey with countless scenery, but the most precious thing is a partner who can walk side by side and share joys and sorrows." ”
The beauty of marriage is not in comparing who gives more, but in mutual understanding and tolerance.
The most harmonious marital state is that you understand my difficulty, I feel sorry for your hard work, and water the garden of life together.
Although life is trivial and complicated, if you manage it with love, you can find warmth in ordinary days and witness the extraordinary in firewood, rice, oil and salt.
The four seasons are reincarnated, day after day, the warmth and harmony of home, the laughter, and the truth in the plain, this is the purest happiness.
I would like to dedicate this article to all those who pursue happiness, and may husband and wife join hands in old age, go through the wind and rain together, laugh at the trivialities of life, and welcome a more brilliant chapter of life.