Relevant marriage and love surveys show that the cheating rate of married men is close to 50%.
However, more than 95% of cheating men have not considered divorce. "The red flag at home does not fall, and the colorful flags flutter outside" is the goal of the vast majority of cheating men.
But there are also some men who, after having an affair outside of marriage, will resolutely ask for a divorce.
Under what circumstances will a man who has an affair outside of marriage resolutely ask for a divorce?
One
There is a marriage expert who has told a personal story of his own.
In his last marriage, he fell in love with an extramarital woman with three children who were also older than him.
However, the man was completely on top, and he himself described his state at the time as:
Completely in a state of madness of recklessness, only thinking about how to get a divorce smoothly and then get together with that woman.
Why is a man so obsessed with a single mother of three? Work hard, and have small achievements, life is full of vitality, everything is in order, and the external spirit is also delicate and high-spirited, like a shining sun.
In short, in the eyes of men, this single mother is simply in heaven and nothing in the world, and she is an excellent spouse for herself.
But why is there no follow-up after that?
It was not because the man's wife was stalker and resolutely refused to divorce, but because the woman outside of marriage firmly rejected the man's marriage proposal.
Sternberg, an American psychologist, described love as a trio of passion, intimacy and commitment.
Passion makes our hearts rac, passionate and impulsive, and we just want to be with each other all the time.
When a man is in a crazy phase of passion, the brain releases the chemicals dopamine and norepinephrine, which produce a strong sense of well-being and possessiveness.
At this time, men will be in a crazy period of cerebral madness, and they will have irrational impulses.
If a woman outside of marriage happens to be able to provide him with various benefits and bring him more benefits than in marriage, he will resolutely file for divorce from his wife under his physical impulse and greed in his heart.
Two
Mourning is greater than dying, and this applies not only to women, but also to men.
When a man is completely disappointed in a marriage, he will not only have an affair outside of marriage, but he will also firmly file for divorce.
At the age of Ben Wu, Lao Chen not only confessed to his wife about his extramarital affair, but also filed for divorce from his wife.
Like many of his peers, Lao Chen and his wife are together, which is also the order of his parents and the words of the matchmaker. But after getting married, I found out that the two people, whether they have personalities or three views, are really far from each other, and they can't talk about it at all.
Lao Chen is a duty, honest and kind, always habitually considers others when getting along with others, and does not have too high a desire for material things, he is a typical honest boy of that era.
But Lao Chen's wife is just the opposite, enthusiastic and spicy, pursuing fashion, always enthusiastic about new things, and is a little playful, very communicative, and a little doted on by her parents.
Living together with such two people is bound to be full of stumbles. His wife has a hot temper, she always dislikes Lao Chen for being useless, she can't live like other men, and when she is angry, she will scold Lao Chen without scruples, and she can say anything ugly.
As for Lao Chen, he was originally stupid, but he was more family-oriented, and he always tolerated it if he could.
But rabbits bite when they are in a hurry, let alone people. was humiliated and suppressed by his wife all the year round, and Lao Chen gradually became discouraged about this marriage, and finally, he got together with a female colleague who was suffering from the same disease.
From the female colleague, Lao Chen felt the warmth that he had not seen for a long time. For the first time, he knew that he was so happy to be cared for and cared for.
At this time, his wife also discovered that something was wrong with him, and when she dug deeper, the story of Lao Chen's extramarital affair was exposed.
After the East Window incident, in addition to apologizing and admitting his mistakes, Lao Chen took the initiative to file for divorce, and he would rather make the biggest concession financially than continue this marriage.
Writer Samuel said:
The success of a marriage depends on two people, and one person can make it fail.
Marriage is an art of management, and the happiness of marriage requires the joint efforts of two people.
As long as a person in the marriage lacks the ability to solve problems, or uses cheating and betrayal to escape reality, this marriage has already moved towards de facto separation, and happiness has become a flower in the moon mirror in the water, out of reach.