撰文 / 木木
Editor / Tommy
The May Day holiday is over, and the partners have started work, are you still reminiscing about the time of travel and relaxation, or are you discussing the major events that happened during this period?
Many people around me are discussing the fat cat incident enthusiastically:
A young man who is only 21 years old committed suicide by jumping into the river because of his girlfriend's reluctance to marry him, etc., a series of attitude problems.
The young man's network nickname is Fat Cat, and his profession is game boosting, it is said that he is the strength of the national service Mengqi and Tongtiandai, and the fee for a training is generally 15-25 yuan, in order to make more money, he has to work more than ten hours a day.
is such a high-level gamer, coupled with hard work, in just over 2 years, he has saved a huge income of 510,000 yuan.
Don't be fooled by the name of this fat cat, the fat cat is not fat, he is a capable and handsome sunny boy.
The fuse of the matter was Tan Zhu, the girlfriend of the fat cat.
The girl is 6 years older than the fat cat, and judging by the photos, she looks innocent and beautiful.
During the relationship, the fat cat often transferred money to her to buy things, and also funded her to start a business and open a shop.
What is unbelievable is that before the fat cat committed suicide, at the last moment of his life, he also transferred the remaining more than 60,000 to her, and remarked "voluntary gift".
The direct reason for the fat cat's suicide was that he felt hopeless in marrying his girlfriend.
In his impression and cognition, the relationship between himself and his girlfriend has reached the level of talking about marriage. But in reality, his girlfriend is not willing to let the fat cat get close.
Maybe in this girl's subconscious, the fat cat is not a boyfriend in the real sense, but just an object to get a handful of money before she meets Mr. Right.
Looking at the chat history of the two people, this girl is pua fat cat all the time, after all, eating more than 6 years of rice is not for nothing,
For such a girl, it is very simple to take care of a boy who is not deeply involved in the world, has an unsound family, and is eager to enter into marriage.
The fat cat incident tells us that the best way to love a woman is to delay gratification.
The origin of delayed gratification
The concept of delayed gratification was first proposed by Walter Michel, a professor of individual and social psychology in the United States.
Professor Walter conducted an experiment with 550 children at Stanford Bing Kindergarten in 1968 ---1970:
They let the children choose their favorite foods (e.g., marshmallows, gummies, cookies, etc.). Tell your child that you can eat it right away without a reward, or that you can skip it and wait 15 minutes before getting a double serving.
Some children can't help but eat it immediately after getting it, and some children insist on eating it after a while.
There were also children who waited for 15 minutes or even longer to get double servings.
Some of these children who were able to wait for a long time turned their heads away from the food, some pushed the food away, and in the end they were rewarded with double the reward.
Professor Walter then conducted a follow-up survey of the samples of these experimental children every 10 years, which continued for 40 years.
It was found that those who waited a long time had better academic performance, better work and physical performance. Especially after middle age, they rarely gain weight, have fewer chronic diseases, and have relatively better interpersonal relationships.
Therefore, the marshmallow experiment tells people a truth: all choices of effort and delay are for a good outcome in the future.
To put it simply, delayed gratification refers to the fact that a person dares to give up and delay obtaining immediate rewards and enjoyment, in order to obtain more valuable and long-term rewards in the future.
The young fat cat, in the eyes of the average person, is a high-quality potential stock: handsome, young and motivated, with a six-figure deposit.
What's more, when he identifies a person, he will treat her wholeheartedly.
Presumably, such excellent conditions are unattainable in any mature girl.
But in the end, tragedy happened, and the root of the tragedy was that he did not choose to delay gratifying the other party.
Delayed gratification is a two-way street
The core of delayed gratification is that it is not for some kind of benefit or drive, to immediately satisfy one's own and others' mentality.
Immediate satisfaction with oneself and others, although it can achieve a certain goal in a short period of time, but in the long run, it is superficial and short-lived.
When Fat Cat and Tan Zhu first fell in love, they used material materials to satisfy their girlfriend again and again, so that she got the sweetness of instant satisfaction again and again.
From the initial transfer of a few hundred yuan to the later tens of millions of dollars, he couldn't get the affirmation of his girlfriend, let alone the attitude of the woman he wanted.
In the end, his girlfriend's appetite grew more and more in the greedy gains again and again.
This reminds me of the story of the Russian writer A.S. Pushkin's "The Fisherman and the Goldfish":
The poor fisherman accidentally released a goldfish, and in return he said that he could fulfill his wishes. When he returned home, the fisherman's wife asked him to ask the goldfish for a lot of wealth, and then asked for a villa. The goldfish also gave them instant satisfaction again and again, but then the old woman's greedy desires became more and more distorted, and she even wanted to be the queen and let the goldfish serve her, and the goldfish got angry and took back everything she was given, and the two of them were beaten back to the prototype.
In reality, many people also have this mentality, so this overly greedy mentality is called pathological psychology in abnormal psychology.
And the fat cat also has a certain responsibility, just because he is too eager to be loved and wants to be loved and affirmed immediately.
As everyone knows, the love obtained by delayed gratification is long-term, and it is destined to pay more to satisfy a person's desires and psychology immediately, especially in the face of a woman like a fat cat girlfriend.
Or we can bring the fat cat incident into reality, in life we will often be tempted by some high-sugar, high-calorie, various color and fragrance desserts,,
Because these desserts will satisfy people's taste buds, stimulate people's appetite, and eat them can indeed produce dopamine, which makes people get temporary pleasure.
However, the long-term effects of these high-sugar and high-calorie desserts are not good, and the harm of occasional consumption is negligible.
Long-term consumption has a bad effect on people's body and mind, and it is also not good for our figure.
Obviously, the fat cat did not understand this truth, if you love someone, you must learn to delay gratification, delay gratification yourself, and delay gratification of each other,
Only this two-way delayed gratification is the most effective way to strengthen a relationship, a relationship.
Today's Interaction:
What do you think about the fat cat incident?
What do you think is the best way to love someone?
Come and share it in the comment area~
-The End -
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Keywords in this article: psychology, love, delayed gratification
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