Hello dear readers~
Three months after I got married, I felt sad every day. This is probably the last thing I want to admit in my life.
Here's the thing, I, Zhang Yajing, am a 50-year-old eldest sister. Three months ago, I decided to remarry and found a man who was 17 years younger than me named Cheng Mingyang.
Cheng Mingyang is a man who looks elegant and confident. Our acquaintance was interesting because he took the initiative to strike up a conversation with me at a chance social event. Maybe it's because of my age, but I have a special liking for him. In my eyes, he is the one who can make me have love again.
We started out very happily and I felt incredibly warm with his attentiveness and care. But gradually, I noticed that something was wrong. His lifestyle is completely different from mine, he likes to stay up late to play games, while I am an early bedtime and early riser, he seems to have a laissez-faire attitude towards money, often spending a lot of money to shop, while I am more thrifty and financial management. These details, although they may seem small, are slowly affecting our feelings.
Three months have passed, and I find myself feeling upset about this marriage every day. I began to doubt my choice and began to regret why I wanted to marry a man so much younger than me. I don't know if I love him, and I don't know if he really loves me. All I know is that every night when I come home, I feel an inexplicable sense of loss and emptiness.
Today, I had a heartfelt conversation with Cheng Mingyang. I tried to tell him about my confusion and troubles, but he kept smiling, as if he didn't take my feelings to heart. I asked him why he was smiling, and he just smiled and said I was too sensitive to be cranky all the time.
When I heard him say this, I felt a pang of disappointment. I thought he would care about my feelings and try to understand me, but now it seems that I was wrong. Perhaps, it was really just a wrong marriage between me and him.
Sitting in the living room, I looked out the window at the scenery, and my heart was filled with endless sadness. I don't know what to do, I just know that I feel sad every day.
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