I heard a very interesting saying:
There are thousands of ways to live, it can be like this or that, but it's not what you think.
When you think about it, it's really hard not to agree.
In the long journey of life, there are too many uncontrollable, many times when things backfire, but not many times when you get your wish.
When we are young, we always want to take control of our lives, hoping to hold all the initiative in our hands.
But the older I get, the more I realize that you can't control anything else in life except yourself.
A woman who is truly strong in her heart has long ceased to compete with life, but has put away the tension and allowed everything to happen.
A netizen named @lyka posted a post asking for help in a forum.
She said that in life she is a very planned person.
No matter what she wants to do or where she is going every day, she is used to planning in advance.
Even small things like which restaurant to eat at the next day and which sport to do, she hopes to do it as she envisions.
But recently, her work has changed a bit, and she has suddenly become busy, and many things are not going as she expected.
It made her feel more anxious than ever, as if her life had been completely thrown out of order.
Whenever her plans were disrupted, she was extra irritated.
She really wanted to know what she had to do to get out of this situation.
In the comment area, there is a message that has been highly praised:
"Plans never change fast, the only thing that doesn't change in the world is that it's always changing. ”
Life is like an extremely difficult screenwriter, you never know what kind of plot it will arrange for you in the next second.
No matter how carefully you plan, it will be difficult to resist some unexpected things after all.
Think back to if you've ever had an experience like this:
I have been carefully preparing for a certain job for a long time, and even imagined all the possible problems, thinking that I was sure of nine out of ten, but when it came to the end, there was a small mistake.
I happily planned a trip, painstakingly prepared all kinds of detailed strategies, and just waited to go, but at this time, something will come out and intervene, and your plan will fall through.
There are also those friends who you thought would never be separated for the rest of your life, and one day suddenly broke up at the intersection, and when they said goodbye, they had become strangers in the sea of people.
There are so many uncontrollable and unexpected things that pervade our lives.
It's like an uninvited guest, never consulting you, let alone accepting your control.
No matter how reluctant you are and you can't stop it from coming, the only thing you can do is accept it as it comes.
is like the popular sentence on the Internet:
"Life is all about seeing and dismantling. ”
When the unexpected comes, instead of doing everything possible to avoid resistance, it is better to bravely move towards him.
When the wind comes, it will meet the wind, and when the waves come, it will step on the waves, which is the best antidote to life.
The other day, I read a very healing sentence:
What has happened in the past, but if there is one less, it will not make you who you are now.
Life may be unreasonable, and from time to time something unexpected will be arranged.
But as far as you have traveled, there is no step that is not counted.
Even those things that are bitter, when you look back, there may be a different story.
Just like the blogger named @Gege shared that experience.
Years ago, she was a rookie at the beginning of her career.
I entered the workplace with great anticipation, hoping to make a big difference in my career.
But unfortunately, I met a difficult boss.
At that time, all the documents she handled, including a simple departmental meeting minutes, had to be reviewed and refined word by word.
Her boss often criticized her work proposal mercilessly, telling her to overturn it and start over, and asked for at least two alternatives next time.
In short, the boss will ask about all kinds of big and small things at work.
During those days, she felt like she was walking on thin ice every day, and sometimes she even dreamed of changing her plan.
Years later, she is glad she had the experience.
In order to deal with that boss, she began to get used to making several preparations for everything, and every time she docked with others, she would check more than 3 times, for fear that she would make a mistake.
And these habits have also left a reliable impression on countless customers and partners, and she has been climbing in the workplace.
I can't help but think of what Haruki Murakami said:
"It's a tough time right now, but maybe it will come to fruition in the future. ”
There is no need to blame anything for happening, everything that happens to you will have its meaning.
The gloom of yesterday may also be the brilliance of tomorrow.
Do you still remember the popular "Flowers" at the beginning of the year?
Because Wong Kar-wai often asks actors to shoot the same scene many times, netizens jokingly call the actors he has worked with "Wong Kar-wai Victims Alliance".
Talking about the filming process, the main creators admitted frankly that they had been abused to the point of doubting their lives.
But when "Flowers" was broadcast and was well received, they were only grateful in their hearts, grateful to the director for his original excellence, and grateful to themselves for not giving up.
If you are experiencing something bad right now, too.
Please don't be discouraged, no matter what is good or bad, it will be the map of your life, and without any piece, you can't piece together the complete you.
Writer @李筱懿 shared such an experience on her social media.
She said that in the past, she was a very anxious person, and she had all kinds of things to worry about every day.
For example, if she needs to speak at a meeting tomorrow, she will definitely be so nervous that she can't sleep the night before, for fear that she will not perform well on the spot.
Next week she needs to travel on business, and from the moment she is notified, she starts to worry about the difficulties she might encounter along the way.
Even if it's just writing a manuscript, before she starts writing, she will be very worried, afraid that she won't be able to write a word.
Often, before it happens, she is already in torment.
Gradually, however, she discovers that many of the things she feared will not happen, and even if they do, they are far less terrible than she imagined.
She counted the past, and realized that there really was nothing that could really defeat her.
Whether it's those bottlenecks at work, or the frustration in marriage, or the departure of relatives and friends......
At the time, it seemed that they were all big things, and I thought I would not be able to make it through.
But when they do happen, there will still be a solution.
So, she began to try not to presuppose as much as possible what hadn't happened yet.
Miraculously, however, her anxieties slowly disappeared, and her days became more comfortable.
There's a good saying:
"Life is a vast wilderness, not a one-way track. ”
The fault tolerance rate of life is actually higher than we think.
There is nothing that can never be overcome, and anxiety in advance will only affect your mood at the moment.
When people come to the world, they come to experience life, not to deduce perfection.
Even if something deviates from your expected course, it won't affect your final stop.
A woman's true strength is not confrontation, but allowing and accepting, allowing life to have occasional accidents, allowing things to go unsatisfactory, and allowing someone to dislike you......
It doesn't mean that you have to lie down completely, but that after seeing the myriad changes in the world, you are no longer afraid of the changes in life and no longer afraid of the unknown.
You'll still give your best in everything, but you'll also be able to embrace every way the story ends.
When you begin to allow things to happen, you can heal life's ills.
I like a sentence in "Half an Acre of Flower Field":
Regret is frequent, loneliness is frequent, life is to taste bitterness, and we are born to see all the impermanence.
Uncontrollable and unexpected are the normal state of life, it is useless for you to escape, and it is useless to resist.
Don't be afraid of anything, everything that happens has its own purpose.
Some bring you warmth, some force you to be strong, but only when they come together will you become who you are today.
And don't fight against life, try to take full control of it, or resist things that you simply can't control.
Let your heart open and allow them to come.
When you are able to allow everything to happen, you will find that life is far from as bad as you imagined.
Whether it is good or bad, one day, it will become an old thing in your life.