Some netizens asked Liu not:
I have been a manager for a few years, but my management ability does not seem to have improved. I will not praise my subordinates, I will only say a few words when I praise them, and I will not criticize my subordinates, I have a problem, criticizing my subordinates, I always have a "angry and indisputable" idea, and criticism often turns into a harsh accusation of subordinates in the end.
How can I improve my skills in criticizing or praising others?
Learn the Enneagram and watch people serve dishes
The reason why they will not criticize others and praise others is mainly because they are not familiar with their own personalities, and they also do not understand the personalities of others.
In fact, each of us has two positive and negative aspects of our character, each of us is a combination of devils and angels, according to the clockwise view:
Personality No. 1: The Perfect
In the absence of pressure, the No. 1 personality is usually a wise implementer, a reasonable person, and a principled teacher, but under stressful situations, No. 1 becomes a misanthropic who lacks tolerance, an indulgent critic, and a strict avenger; No. 1 usually follows the rules, follows conventions, takes it as a duty to meet standards, adopts a quality-oriented management style, and sometimes is dictatorial.
When communicating with No. 1, the wording needs to be precise, not ambiguous, and the words should be authoritative, and at the same time, be mentally prepared for No. 1 to be critical, and try to turn criticism into positive suggestions, and allow No. 1 to debate both sides of the matter to help No. 1 express his dissatisfaction.
Personality No. 2: Giver
In the absence of stress, Type 2 is an altruist, a caring person, and a caregiver, but under stress, Type 2 becomes a self-deceptive manipulator, a coercive bully, a victim of physical and mental disorders, and in many cases, others may not need the help of Number 2.
When communicating with Number 2, pay attention to giving human protection, be clear about Number 2's hopes, help Number 2 to speak out about their real needs, don't let Number 2 pay too much for you, be careful that Number 2 takes your criticism as a personal attack, and have some physical contact when appropriate, such as shaking hands and high-fives.
Personality No. 3: Achiever
In the absence of stress, Type 3 people usually appear to be authentic, self-affirming, and exemplary of quality, but under stress, Type 3 can become dishonest opportunists, resentful self-deceptives, and vindictive psychopaths.
Therefore, when communicating with the No. 3 person, don't easily let the No. 3 prevail, communicate with him with the results and achievements as the central idea, the No. 3 will ignore the quality while rushing forward, and need to remind him to analyze and plan more, let the No. 3 know the contribution of others to his achievements, don't waste the time of the No. 3, and review the progress with the No. 3 regularly.
Personality No. 4: Romantic
In the absence of stress, type 4 is usually an enlightening person, a self-aware intuitionist, and an individual who is capable of self-reflection, but in a stressful state, number 4 becomes an alienated disappointment, an emotionally comforting person, and a self-destructive person.
When communicating with No. 4, you should give personal support, don't expect No. 4 to be consistent and focus on the final outcome, pay attention to No. 4's feelings and remind them not to be too affected by other people's reactions, distinguish between people and things, evaluate is not the same as criticism, listen carefully to No. 4's feelings, and ask No. 4 to weigh the gains and losses in detail before the change.
No. 5 Personality: Thinker
In the absence of stress, Type 2 is a dreamer ahead of his time, a perceptive observer, and a focused innovator, but in stressful situations, Type 2 becomes an alienated nihilist, a terrifying alien, and a tired psychopath.
When communicating with personality 5, do not encroach on 5's space and time, avoid all physical contact, do not ask 5 to respond in real time, allow them time to think, take the initiative and do not make assumptions about 5's thoughts or feelings, and 5 cannot handle interpersonal conflicts to help them mitigate such situations.
Number 6 Personality: Loyalist
In the absence of stress, personality type 6 is a brave hero, a loyal friend, and the most committed partner, but in a stressful situation, personality 6 becomes an allergic dependent, a recurrent hysteria, and a masochist who defeats the ego.
The main points of communication on the 6th are that you need to get a lot of clear guidance before taking action, and know what the danger lies in the future, support the 6th to see the walking steps and look too far to produce unnecessary anxiety, the 6th will be anxious when the environment is not clear, and talk to him from time to time, do not insist on changing the rules of the game, and should give the 6th enough time to adapt.
Number 7 personality: Happy person
In the absence of stress, the number 7 personality is usually a fascinated appreciator, a soul-free optimist, and an accomplished generalist, while in a stressful state, the number 7 becomes an impulsive escaper, a crazy oppressor, and a painful and wounded hysteria.
The communication advice is this: allow No. 7 to be innovative and have dreams, help No. 7 see problems as a good opportunity for growth, state the main points and conclusions, don't talk at length, No. 7 generally refuses to admit mistakes and will package mistakes as learning opportunities, and help No. 7 change the bad habit of promising too much and practicing less.
Number 8 Personality: Protector
In the absence of pressure, the Type 8 personality is usually a broad-minded, self-confident person, and a constructive leader, but under stress, the Type 8 can become a ruthless gangster, an all-powerful delusional, and a violent destroyer, while the Type 8 is authoritarian in leadership, leads as a patriarch, is rude, confronts, and sometimes a brutal power broker.
When communicating with the No. 8, you need to maintain eye contact and take a firm stance, don't argue with the No. 8, debate = challenge authority, the No. 8 does not need to be praised by others, and underestimates the importance of praise, encourage the No. 8 to praise the person, remind the No. 8 to coordinate their strength, and the No. 8 respects those who dare to tell the truth.
No. 9 personality: He Ping
In the absence of stress, the Type 9 personality is usually a self-guide, a tolerant person, and a supportive peacemaker, and the leadership style of the Type 9 is usually corporatic, participatory, all-encompassing, and share-sharing, and in the case of stress, the number 9 becomes a negated trampling, an unconnected robot, and a self-abandoning ghost.
The communication advice with the number 9 is to build a harmonious communication atmosphere, avoid the number 9 from becoming stubborn and passive, and seek clear and unmistakable commitments, clearly state your requirements to the number 9, otherwise he will pretend not to know, give a lot of support and recognition to the number 9, have a clear work structure, never command the number 9 to make prompts, and help the number 9 speak concisely.
So how do you judge your own or someone else's personality attributes? It's very simple, you can learn it in three minutes:
1. Draw the word "all" for a quick check
For example, if you were born on April 15, 1988, then the 15th is 1 and 5, 1+5=6,
If April is seen as 04, then 0+4=4
In 1988, it was divided into two parts, 19 is seen as 1+9=10, 10 is 1 and 0, 1+0=1, 88 is seen as 8 and 8, 8+8=16, 16 is seen as 1 and 6, then 1+6=7
接着往上加，6+4=10，1+0=1，1+7=8，1+8=9
Then, people born on April 15, 1988 are the number 9 personality, and if they feel that the solar calendar is not accurate, they can calculate their own lunar calendar.
2. Quadrant crossing method
(1) Judge whether a person is instinctive, emotional, or thinking by asking a question, such as love, family education, three views and attitude towards things?
Instinct type: 8-9-1
Emotional type: 2-3-4
Thinking type: 5-6-7
(2) Test conflict handling habits.
Conflict group: 3-7-8
Push-off group: 4-5-9
Responsible group: 1-2-6
(3) Quadrant crossing
Finding the intersection and breaking the character is a very crucial step.
Isn't the method very simple, have you learned it? If you can't learn it, you can learn from Mr. Liu!