In many husband and wife relationships, although divorce seems to have become a common phenomenon, but if we do not dig deep into this emotional phenomenon, then our cognition of marital relationship can only stay
Through the study of hundreds of couples, I found that those who end up in divorce often have some commonalities.
1. Emotional detachment and lack of intimacy
In the world of marriage, "intimacy" is undoubtedly the most critical cornerstone.
But it is a pity that many couples are gradually estranged in the process of getting along day after day.
It was as if an invisible barrier had been erected between them, separating each other.
The desire to share is gone, intimacy is no longer there, and even daily communication has become formalized and perfunctory.
This emotional alienation, like a chronic poison, silently erodes the foundations of marriage and makes the relationship vulnerable.
Just like in the TV series "We All Have to Be Okay", Xiang Xiang is focused on work, ignoring the feelings of searching, and ignoring them for a long time makes their feelings gradually fade.
For example, in "Chinese-style Divorce", when Lin Xiaofeng and Song Jianping encountered contradictions, they chose a cold war, and they were at a stalemate with each other, and no one was willing to bow their heads first, causing their hearts to be further and further apart.
Such examples are also common in real life.
When one party is too focused on their own things and ignores the needs and feelings of the other person, emotional cracks can gradually develop.
And when contradictions arise, escapism and the Cold War will only allow problems to accumulate and eventually push the marriage to the brink of breakdown.
Therefore, maintaining a close relationship and communicating in a timely manner to solve problems is an important magic weapon for maintaining the stability of marriage.
Second, it is difficult to reach a consensus due to conflicting values
The consistency of values between husband and wife can be described as the "ballast stone" for marital stability.
As Leo Tolstoy said, "Happy families are all alike, and unhappy families are unhappy in their own way." ”
If the couple has a big disagreement on some key issues, then the marriage may be in trouble.
When it comes to the way children are educated, differences in perceptions between couples can lead to heated arguments.
One side aspires to an elite education that will lay a solid foundation for future success, while the other believes that children should be free to develop and develop their individuality.
If this disagreement cannot be reconciled, it will cause problems for the child's development and strain the relationship between the husband and wife.
Husbands and wives are also prone to conflicts when it comes to their views on money. One side advocates thrift and thrift, which is considered a virtue;
On the other hand, they are keen to enjoy life and think that making money is to spend better.
Such a clash of values can throw family finances into chaos and quarrels ensu.
Planning for the future is also an area where couples tend to have disagreements.
One side may have ambitious goals and detailed plans, while the other side is more inclined to go with the flow.
These differences in values are like a time bomb hidden in marriage, and once they explode, they will have a huge impact on the marriage.
If these conflicts are not properly resolved, they can snowball and eventually lead to the breakdown of the marriage.
Therefore, both husband and wife should strive to find a common understanding, respect each other's values, and work together for the happiness of the marriage.
Only in this way can the ship of marriage sail smoothly in the ocean of life and sail to the other side of happiness.
3. Lack of self-growth and stagnation
In the besieged city of marriage, it is essential for both parties to grow and progress together.
If one partner is constantly moving forward and trying to improve themselves, while the other partner is stagnant or even regressing, then the distance between them will gradually widen, and eventually the relationship will become unbalanced.
is like Luo Zijun and Chen Junsheng in "The First Half of My Life", Luo Zijun chose to be a full-time wife after marriage and gradually lost touch with society, while Chen Junsheng continued to work hard in the workplace and achieved good results.
The gap between the two is getting bigger and bigger, and Chen Junsheng feels that he has no common language with Luo Zijun, which eventually leads to the breakdown of the marriage.
This imbalance creates a huge gap in their psychology and seriously affects the quality of their marriage.
Another example is in real life, where one spouse is actively learning new skills and expanding his or her career, while the other partner is addicted to games or doing nothing.
In the long run, the gap between the two sides will become more and more obvious, and the progressive side may feel disappointed and dissatisfied, while the standing side will feel inferior and anxious. This imbalance can create hidden dangers between couples and make marriages challenging.
Therefore, in marriage, both parties should maintain a positive and enterprising attitude, work together to grow, and narrow the gap between each other, only in this way can the marriage be more stable and happy.
Otherwise, the imbalance in this relationship is like a time bomb that could destroy the edifice of marriage at any time.
Behind every divorced couple, there is a story and reasons for it. But by studying these common characteristics, we can learn some lessons from them and better manage our marriages.
Marriage requires the joint efforts and dedication of both parties, and only mutual understanding, mutual support, and mutual tolerance can make the flower of marriage bloom undefeated.