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(Note: This article is purely fictional, if you have similar experiences, it is purely coincidental, please read it sensibly)
Two years ago, because our children were going to elementary school, we didn't worry about our children living in the school by themselves, so my wife and I decided to move to the city and used our savings to buy a house.
There are many advantages to buying a house in the city, you can get a good job in the city, it is close to home, and most importantly, you can spare a lot to spend with your children.
At first, our family was very satisfied with the house, both the decoration style of the house and the location of the house made my wife and I feel extremely happy.
The first year in the city has been a particularly happy one for our family, motivated in whatever we do, and full of motivation and hope for the future.
My wife and I also found relatively good and stable jobs in the city, not far from home, and our family's savings were increasing day by day, and my wife and I even began to regret not coming to the city sooner.
If he had been working in the city in the early years, he might have been able to bring the four old men to the city to enjoy the blessings.
As time went on, our honeymoon period with the house also came to an end and we suddenly felt that living in the city wasn't so good either.
Its disadvantages far outweigh its advantages, first of all, it is too small, the house is only 60 square meters in total, and it takes less than 15 seconds to walk from south to north in the house.
The second is poor sound insulation, what the neighbors do at home every day, we know as soon as we hear it, so every day my wife and children and I are careful at home, for fear of making any loud noise to disturb the neighbors left and right.
Usually friends come to have a party or something, not only is it troublesome to cook, but it is also troublesome to clean up after eating, and finally we go out to eat and party like everyone else.
Since our house is easily accessible, it is close to the highway, and every morning before we get up, the road outside is already full of the sound of all kinds of cars driving by and honking.
My wife and I also thought about solving the problem of soundproofing the house, but after looking for the construction team, we found that it would cost a lot of money, not to mention the need to install materials on the floor and walls, so the plan to renovate the house had to be shelved.
Finally, and what makes us feel the most uncomfortable and the most unacceptable is that there is no communication between neighbors at all, although we didn't have any friends when we first moved here, but at that time we felt that as long as we got along with our neighbors for a while, we could become neighbors who loved each other.
But as time went on, we found that not to mention loving our neighbors, we usually had very few opportunities, and most of the time everyone nodded their heads.
Especially after living in a small area for half a year, I didn't even know what the neighbor was called, and such a cold neighborhood relationship made me and my wife extremely uncomfortable growing up in a lively neighborhood.
Oh yes, there's another thing here that makes us extremely uncomfortable - the cost of living in the city is too high, we have to pay for everything in the firewood, rice, oil and salt, and the monthly water and electricity are also a lot of expenses, my wife and I calculated that every month we spend on this money is one-tenth of our salary.
Every time we get together with friends, my wife and I have to be busy for three hours before the party and two or three hours after the party is over.
We have to maintain the daily expenses of the family every month, and we have to give some to both parents, plus the children have to pay some fees every time they are in school, basically there will be no money left when the money is in hand, not to mention the monthly balance that we fantasized about when we first arrived in the city.
The longer I stay in the city, the more I understand why relatives and friends who enter the city first don't like to bring guests home.
There are many reasons, the house is small, the sound insulation is poor, and the neighbors are afraid of complaints...
In short, we had a very painful year, and once we wanted to go back to the countryside, but in the end we stayed for the sake of our children.
Some time ago, my mother-in-law came to the city to see a doctor and stayed in my house, during which I had a very unpleasant quarrel with my parents-in-law, and those who have lived in a small house know that because the space of the house is small, all kinds of things are stuffed there when there are vacant seats.
So when my parents-in-law came, they saw the messy house, and immediately reprimanded us, after all, we are elders, although I can't hang on my face, but it is not good to have a seizure, but I applied for many days of work in the company, and I did not go home during the period.
When my parents-in-law left, I almost got stupid when I got home, and my parents-in-law threw away a lot of our things without knowing whether the items in the house were useful or not, and many of the items that my wife and I used every day were gone.
And when I asked my parents-in-law why they did this, my father-in-law's answer made my blood pressure soar again:
"We see that there are too many things in your house, and we want to clean up for you, most of the things we throw away are broken, and as for the things that are not broken, let us accidentally throw away, you can just buy them, anyway, you are earning more in the city now. ”
I didn't know what to say for a while when I heard my father-in-law's words, and finally I had to hang up the phone helplessly.
When my wife came home and I told her about it, she was also very angry, but she couldn't get angry with her parents, so she had to stop it.
Then my wife and I calculated the loss this time, about a month's salary for us, originally this time the parents-in-law came to see the mother-in-law we paid a lot, originally thought that this year and my wife will change the mobile phone, now this way, at least this year we can't change, and the next three months have to live tightly.
My wife and I also immediately decided that when relatives and friends came, we would not let him live in our house.
Through this experience, I was also reminded of a past event more than ten years ago, and at the same time, I also understood my aunt's mood at that time.
My cousin was getting married, and I wasn't married at the time, so I went to the city with my parents to attend my cousin's wedding, and we arrived at my aunt's house three days before the wedding.
My father originally wanted to come to my aunt's house to help early, after all, my father only had this one sister.
Who knew that after knocking on the door, my aunt was stunned when she saw that it was us, and then welcomed us into the house, my father also explained the intention, and my aunt was also very moved after hearing it, and then her face was embarrassed, explaining that there was only a living room left in the house to live, or I would go to book a hotel for you for two days.
The father felt sorry for his aunt, said that it was fine in the living room, and asked who lived in the other room of the house, and the aunt also said that it was the nephew of the uncle's family and his child.
Then we stayed at my aunt's house, and the next day we went out to help arrange the wedding and send invitations to relatives and friends, and we returned home with my aunt and uncle after a busy day's work.
Finding that the house was in a mess, as if it had been visited by a thief, my uncle's nephew was sitting on the sofa in the living room, and his children were still scribbling on the walls with colored pens, and the floor was full of daily necessities from my aunt's and uncle's house, all of which were turned out by the children to play with and thrown to the ground.
There is also a huge stain on the sofa, it should be that the child did not wash his hands after eating, and directly wiped the stain on his hand on the sofa, and the sofa at my aunt's house is an imported sofa.
Yesterday when I introduced to us, I also said that I am most satisfied with the furniture in this room is this sofa, usually the baby is very good, are covered with sofa covers, my daughter is about to get married, she removed the sofa covers.
But before the daughter got married, the sofa was dirty, and if you want to remove the stains on the sofa, you still need someone to clean it, and it may not be able to clean it up.
And when my uncle's nephew saw us coming back, especially when he saw my aunt's eyes that seemed to be about to breathe fire, he slipped back to the room with the child in his arms like a thief, and never came out again.
There was no way, we had to clean up the room again after a tired day, and the next day we invited a special cleaning staff to clean the door, and reluctantly cleaned the sofa before the wedding on the premise of doubling the cost.
I was helping to cover the dirty walls painted by the children, and I had to help scrape a layer of putty for fear that the smell of paint would affect tomorrow's wedding, and finally my cousin's wedding ended successfully.
But when I heard my parents say that my aunt's family and my uncle's nephew had severed contact with each other, I thought to myself that this kind of thing is also too much in the countryside, but there is still a point where they have severed contact, right? At most, the two families will not have much contact in the future, and they can get by on face.
But after knowing that I had been a city dweller for two years, I gradually understood my aunt - this kind of behavior is really chilling, and you are warm to entertain you, and you have taken the child to wreak havoc at your own uncle's house.
From the perspective of my aunt back then, I have to say that my aunt has a really good temper.
Later, we rarely went to my aunt's house, she was kind to us, but she never left us at home for dinner, and I understood her, not that she didn't pay attention to feelings, but that she was bitten by a snake for ten years and was afraid of the well rope.
During this time, my wife and I have become more and more fond of the quiet atmosphere, and we plan to move to a larger, more soundproofed house before our children start junior high school.
At the same time, let relatives and friends not come to disturb our quiet time, otherwise even the best friends and closest relatives will feel that it is an interruption.
Seriously, after buying a house in the city, I finally understood why many young people don't like to go to relatives nowadays, because for them, visiting relatives is like you receiving guests, which is thankless and easy to get into a lot of trouble.
So later, when we had friends to visit us, we would take our friends for a walk and exchange feelings during the walk.
Therefore, people in the city don't like to have guests at home, and they don't like to go to the door, it's really not because everyone doesn't pay attention to feelings, but precisely because they value feelings, and they all want to give each other enough personal space and time.
So don't think that relatives and friends ask you out to entertain you because your feelings are weak, which proves that you have a deep relationship.