#头条创作挑战赛#
A few days ago, I happened to read a deeply touching text:
My parents were always pushing me to get married as soon as possible and take on the responsibility of raising my husband and children, and I had to deal with subtle gender biases during the job search process.
As a woman, I also aspire to have the right to have equal dialogue with life and make my own choices, but in reality, I often feel powerless.
In the sphere of adult women's lives, there are many voices that are complex and ubiquitous.
No matter what decisions or actions we make, we will always attract criticism and even criticism from others.
Blindly enduring and accepting will not solve the problem, but will lead to endless inner struggle and consumption.
In "One Step Forward," author Cheryl Sandberg, a prominent woman who holds the top position as Facebook's chief operating officer, is ranked fifth on Forbes' list of the world's top 100 women, and has been hailed by Time magazine as one of the "world's most influential people"—has this insight:
"We can't meet everyone's expectations, and if we try to cater to everyone, we can't really break through and develop. ”
Despite her dazzling aura, Cheryl has also experienced the workplace challenges and family pressures that modern women often face.
In order to inspire and help modern women live out their self-worth and pursue higher growth and perfection, she incorporates her own personal experience and workplace wisdom into the book.
If you are often affected by external evaluations and feel that you have insufficient motivation to move forward, "One Step Forward" may be able to reveal the key to breaking the ice and help you find your true self-strength.
"I don't deserve it", ruin your luck in life
Psychologist Michela once emphasized: "An individual's cognitive evaluation of himself deeply shapes his or her psychological state." If you continue to have a self-deprecating attitude, you will become more and more mired in the belief of self-incompetence. ”
The power of human thought can not only guide behavioral choices, but also imperceptibly shape the trajectory of destiny.
Once one habitually despises oneself and undervalues oneself, the tone of life will inevitably tend to be bitter and unhappy.
Take Tian Rong, the heroine of the TV series "All the Way to the Sun", as an example, she is a typical character with a very low sense of self-identity.
In the play, Tian Rong's boyfriend is a lawyer, wearing a smart suit every day, dealing with social elites, and she herself is a real estate agent riding an electric car around the streets and alleys.
Such a comparison made Tian Rong constantly think that she was not good enough and was not worthy of her boyfriend. In order to maintain this relationship, she takes care of her boyfriend's housework day after day.
However, her efforts were not cherished by her boyfriend, but were belittled and insulted one after another, which eventually led to her boyfriend leaving her.
After suffering the blow of the breakup, Tian Rong was in pain, blaming her own shortcomings, thinking that her own inadequacy caused her boyfriend to leave.
In this relationship, Tian Rong behaved extremely humblely, however, her low profile not only failed to save love, but consumed her original energy and charm.
In real life, there are many extremely talented and beautiful women, but they are too cautious and even self-limiting in their daily lives.
Behind this phenomenon, it is actually a deep-rooted "sense of low worthiness" at work.
In the field of psychology, there is a theory called "self-fulfilling prophecy", which describes the process by which an individual's behavior is often influenced by autosuggestion and gradually evolves into a desired outcome over time.
If a person continues to give negative psychological cues to himself, negative and inferior feelings will continue to accumulate, which will make people more depressed and lose the courage to pursue higher goals.
Take, for example, Cheryl's experience, when she was invited to attend an economic summit hosted by the U.S. Secretary of the Treasury. At breakfast before the start of the meeting, the male guests in attendance appeared to be calm, choosing their own food and naturally sitting around the main table.
In contrast, the invited female guests were rather reserved, waiting until others had taken their seats before starting to eat, and chose to sit in a low-key corner of the room.
Cheryl noticed the scene and offered to greet them and invite them to join the discussion at the main table. Despite this, after some hesitation, the women chose to stay put, as if they were spectators of the meeting.
Cheryl was deeply touched by this experience, and although she was able to empathize with the contradictions and struggles of these women, she also regretted that they were not brave enough to express themselves.
In many cases, people find it difficult to move forward, not because of their own lack of ability, but more because they fall into the habit of self-doubt and self-debasement:
They are uncomfortable with the praise of others, they always feel that they do not deserve to be praised, and when the opportunity comes, they often hold back on the grounds that they are not good enough.
However, they may not realize that excessive self-reflection and humility are in essence a deep harm to the self.
Therefore, instead of getting depressed in the psychological struggle of "I'm not good enough", it is better to choose to actively adjust your mindset and identify more with and believe in self-worth. Only in this way can we achieve self-breakthrough and firmly grasp the dominance of life.
Allow imperfection to "sit at the table"
As a woman, the excessive pursuit of perfection often leads to hesitation in the face of challenges, and always expects to achieve the ultimate effect with a single move.
However, in real life, perfection does not actually exist, and without practical action, even the ideal plan can only be a castle in the air.
Gina, a well-known figure in the beauty industry, once shared her experience of frustration in her first business in a public speech.
In order to build the perfect career blueprint in mind, she strives to prepare everything perfectly before acting.
For example, she spends her days thinking about whether she should shoot short videos, how to get the best results, and whether she should fire employees who don't accept management.
This repeated entanglement mentality eventually led to failure in her entrepreneurial journey in constant hesitation.
Many women have a similar tendency when it comes to dealing with things, thinking before they act, expecting to solve the problem all at once, often only to get nothing done.
In fact, the excessive pursuit of perfection is like engaging in a self-struggle that is doomed to be won.
But the reality is that all the difficulties and challenges in the world can only be solved through practical actions, and their solutions can be gradually revealed. As Cheryl constantly emphasizes, "Finish is more important than perfection." ”
In the book, she shares a thought-provoking finding: Typically, women only choose to apply openly if they fully meet the requirements of the job in their self-assessment, while men dare to try to do so when their qualifications are 60% matched.
Although women tend to be on a par with men in academics, women face significant barriers to promotion in the workplace earlier than men.
In addition to the widespread gender disparity in the workplace, it is worth noting that modern women are often more susceptible to the pursuit of perfection, which weakens their motivation to be aggressive and brave to express themselves to a certain extent.
However, as a woman in the new era, you can also forge ahead and continue to expand your career horizons.
Taking Zong Fuli, the successor of Wahaha Group, as an example, she is a representative of a resolute and inspirational spirit.
Initially, she inherited Hongsheng Beverages as a small OEM company, but she did not back down in the face of difficulties, actively promoted reforms, and with perseverance, successfully established Hongsheng Beverages as a new leader in the industry.
Zong Fuli's success has effectively broken the traditional prejudice of society against women's abilities, and vividly interpreted the spiritual connotation of "moving forward bravely and aggressively".
Life is short, instead of stopping in hesitation and regret, it is better to adjust your mindset and take the initiative.
Instead of thinking, "I'm not ready", change to "I want to act, I can learn by doing".
Because, even if the task is not perfect, it is far better than doing nothing.
Only by truly completing it can we get real feedback and clarify our own shortcomings, so as to gradually improve and improve at the right time.
When we, as women, are no longer entangled in the pursuit of absolute perfection, but learn to accept ourselves, we can deal with the challenges of work and the difficulties of life with a more relaxed attitude, and realize self-transformation and growth in the process of moving forward again and again.
A person's greatest sobriety: stepping on the accelerator and self-iteration
Cheryl has had two pivotal turning points in her career.
At first, at the beginning of her career, she resolutely gave up her coveted position in the stable system and devoted herself to Google, which was still in its infancy and was not widely favored.
Then, in the midst of the remarkable success of the Internet industry, Cheryl made another surprising choice: to leave the already famous Google in favor of the then smaller and less well-known Facebook.
The move sparked a lot of skepticism, with many predicting that she would suffer a professional Waterloo as a result.
However, it took only two years for Cheryl to help Facebook reach its profitability target, and by the third year, the company's global user base had grown to 700 million. For Cheryl, the opportunities for personal growth far outweigh the stability of the job itself or the glory that comes with the position.
As she explains in her book, "When you have the opportunity to fly a rocket, you don't have to worry too much about the destination, the key is to seize the opportunity that will take you up quickly." ”
In modern society, women often face more severe workplace challenges than men, and if they are satisfied with the comfort zone of the status quo, their competitiveness in the future will gradually fade.
Therefore, only by broadening our horizons, moving forward bravely, and constantly renewing and improving ourselves, can we break the waves in the torrent of the times and always maintain strong vitality and lasting competitive advantage.
- Be brave first, and the beauty of the world is waiting to be explored
Professor Luo Xiang once said: "Among the many human virtues, bravery is undoubtedly the most precious and rare one. ”
In the workplace, many women do not lack ability, but lack the determination to fight and challenge.
There is no need to worry too much about whether you can do what you haven't started yet, the key is to put it into practice and act first.
Don't be afraid of whether your abilities match your position, first show yourself with confidence until this confidence is truly internalized.
When you have the courage to take that step, you will find that all the difficulties are not as difficult to overcome as you imagined.
- Breaking boundaries and building a "diverse stage" for individuals
In the case of Cheryl, who went from a senior government official to an internet leader and now to a women's philanthropic career, her experience vividly illustrates that being a wife and mother is not the ultimate goal of a woman's life.
If you aspire to a higher position, then women who read diligently, seek advice with an open mind, and constantly pursue self-improvement are the most attractive.
If you want to be more beautiful and healthy, you should actively invest in skincare and fitness, and don't let laziness be an excuse to hinder progress.
Speak your mind about anyone or anything you love, and don't be ashamed even if you're rejected.
No matter what profession you are in, what age you are in, or what status you have, everyone has their own "life checker", as long as you have the courage to explore, it is there waiting for you to build.
- Seek your inner true self instead of losing yourself in the evaluation of others,
In the bustling world, no one can win everyone's favor and love.
We should explore and stick to ourselves in the midst of a variety of voices and opinions, and outline and practice our own lifestyles with our hearts.
In practical action, we must be proactive and brave to pursue the things we love.
In terms of psychological adjustment, we must learn to care for our emotions, often inject positive energy into ourselves, and strengthen positive psychological cues.
In life, accept your own imperfections, and you don't need to be demanding perfection in everything.
When we can break free from the shackles of other people's expectations and accurately locate our self-worth, then we are not far from being fearless and courageous.
In her book, Cheryl shares this profound quote:
She encourages people to dedicate themselves to pursuing authentic causes, finding and dedicating themselves to what they love.
She asks a thought-provoking question: "Imagine what path you would take without any fear?" ”
She firmly believes that women can show both flexibility and tenacity, both as a virtuous mother and wife, as well as in the professional battlefield.
In reality, no force can bind your actions, thoughts, or soul, as long as you dare to move forward.
No matter what lifestyle you choose, she sincerely hopes that you will follow your inner voice, strengthen your self-belief, and move forward to the pinnacle of life with a high attitude.
Please like and share this text, and let us use this as an encouragement to move forward hand in hand.