Hello everyone, I am Sister Dimples, a 40-year-old second-child working mother.
Ask a question: Who is the baby in your family?
I saw a survey on the Internet, saying that in mainland families, 23% of grandmothers with babies, 21% of grandmothers with babies, 28% of mothers with babies, 3% of aunts with babies, and 22% of those who take turns with babies.
When I saw this set of data, I didn't find any problems at first, but after a closer look, hey, no, why is there no dad here?
Where did Dad go?
Some people may say, dad is busy earning money to support the family, how can he have time to take care of the baby?
Besides, where is there a big man with a baby at home? Men have to fight for their careers!
Let's take a look at the benefits of dad with a baby first.
Psychologist Ross Parker followed up with 390 families in California and found that mothers play with their children in a more patterned way, and their children are less excited, while fathers are more inclined to take their children to play intense sports, such as wrestling and hide and seek, and thus teach them how to coordinate their bodies and control their emotions.
In the process of accompanying and educating children, although the starting point of both husband and wife is the same, and the concept of education is also the same, they will still show very different styles. Fathers take more babies and play various games with their babies, which has many benefits for children's growth.
01, the company of the father, let the child be more independent
Mothers are generally more meticulous, especially when taking care of their children. If the child accidentally falls, the mother will immediately run over, help the child up, and then ask for warmth: Is it broken? Does it hurt? The baby does not cry······
As for Dad, he will not be as nervous and meticulous as Mom, but more "rough". They generally take the baby to grasp the big and let go of the small, and don't care about some trivial things.
When a child falls, he will not only not help him, but will stand still and encourage him to say, "Don't you just fall!"
This kind of seemingly big heart, but in fact, unconsciously cultivates the child's independence, and the child will think about how to deal with it next time, or what to do to avoid falling. Over time, the child will become stronger and more independent.
02, the company of the father, let the child be more creative
When mothers play with their children, it's either plush toys or all kinds of educational gadgets, but do children like it? They seem to prefer toys that aren't toys, such as cardboard boxes, plastic bags, and remote controls
These things are very incomprehensible to my mother: how do you play with things that are not toys?
But not only will the father not say this, but he will also play with the child, such as blowing the plastic bag with his mouth to "poof" the air, and then breaking the bag with both hands, the child will laugh when he sees it, and then start to imitate the play.
Dad will also use cardboard boxes to make various toys with the child, such as pistols, large knives, bows and arrows, etc., and will also disassemble the remote control and let the child try to dress again.
These behaviors stimulate children's curiosity, desire to explore, and also allow children to develop creativity and become smarter and smarter.
03, the company of the father makes the child more confident
In a family, moms are generally more gentle and kind, while dads show more masculinity and a sense of strength.
For example, when playing with other children, if there are older children bullying children, grandma and mother's deterrent power is obviously insufficient, and dad can scare away those bear children with just one look, and then the child's sense of security will be full.
And what children are best at is imitation, every move of adults, they all see it, especially boys, if they only contact women, after a long time, their behavior and personality will be closer to women.
And if the father accompanies the child with high quality, the masculine temperament and the feeling of strength on the body will infect him. While worshipping their father, children will also unconsciously exercise their convenient ability, so as to become more and more confident.
Dad is very busy, 4 tips with a baby to help you
On the mainland, most fathers assume the role of earning money to support their families, and they are very busy with work, so where can they have time to spend with their children? I have to say that this is a very real problem.
But. Dad takes the baby, not the length of time, the important thing is whether you are distracted and whether there is a good way.
There are many excellent fathers, and they are all skilled in bringing up their babies. Sister Dimple summed it up:
1. You only need to spare 10 minutes to accompany the baby every night
After a tiring day at work, when I get home, I sit on the sofa, in addition to playing games on my mobile phone, my father can also throw down my mobile phone to accompany my children.
It shouldn't be difficult to talk to your child about an interesting story about your child at school, or read a story or a picture book to your child in just 10 minutes.
2. Make a phone call or voice message to let your child know that you care about him
Many fathers will have a party in the evening, if they can't get home in time at night, we can call the child, video chat, or send a voice message.
Let the child know that although Dad is not around, his heart is with her.
3. You can take your child to do something out of the circle
When you are on vacation, in addition to staying at home, you can also take your children to walk outdoors more, and you can even do some things out of the circle, such as rolling in the field, fishing by the river, and taking your child back to nature, so that he can experience more of the projects you played when you were a child, so that the child is happy at the same time, and it also enhances the parent-child relationship.
Note: Mom can't replace these things.
Because for a child, there is no better toy in this world than Dad.
4. Find a dad-like personality to appear in the child's world
If Dad is too busy to even have these hours, what should I do? Moms, don't get angry, we can find a personality similar to Dad to appear in the child's world, such as cousins, uncles, and uncles, to make up for the lack of time for Dad to take care of the baby.
Does your dad accompany your children a lot?
About Sister Dimple:
The 40-year-old second-child workplace mother, lifelong learning advocate. It advocates parenting through emotional guidance, not anxious, not irritable, growing together with the baby, focusing on parenting knowledge and women's personal growth sharing.