I was called to meet my future father-in-law and mother-in-law, who were honest farmers. As soon as I entered the door, my father-in-law greeted me warmly: "Please come in, please come in!" Xiao Ming, if we marry our daughter to you, you don't ask for a bride price, we will give you a house as a dowry. "
My father-in-law interrupted me, his face a little serious: "No, you either accept the dowry house or pay the full bride price, choose one of the two! We will not marry our daughter for nothing." The mother-in-law also nodded repeatedly, obviously agreeing with the father-in-law.
My mood suddenly dropped. Paying a bride price of 280,000 yuan is a fantasy for me, but if I miss this opportunity, I have to continue to struggle with the days of renting. I was deeply confused and struggling.
On the one hand, what I dream of is owning my own house; On the other hand, the bride price of 280,000 yuan is an unbearable burden. I began to weigh the pros and cons repeatedly: if I accepted the dowry house, I could have my own home immediately, but at the cost of marrying someone I didn't love at all; If I pay 280,000 bride price, I will have to work hard for a few more years to save enough for a down payment, but at least I can freely choose true love.
My heart seemed to be torn in half, and how should I choose? Money or emotion? Reality or ideal? I was caught in a tangle like never before. That's when my future bride appeared.
She was a plain-looking country girl with an earthy smell on her. She smiled shyly at me and asked me, "Brother Xiao Ming, are you willing to marry me?" Although I come from a humble background, I will definitely serve you well. "
She didn't seem to understand my hint, but took the initiative to step forward, took my hand, and her eyes flashed with anticipation: "Brother Xiao Ming, I know that I come from a humble background, but I have a deep love for you." As long as you are willing to marry me, I will definitely repay you with the sincerity of my life. "
In the following days, this girl took great care of me and thought of me everywhere. She often asks for warmth and is considerate.
Once, when I came home late from overtime, she waited at the door with concern written all over her face. When she saw me enter the door, she stepped forward quickly and handed me a cup of hot ginger soup, saying that it was to protect me from the cold.
"Brother Xiao Ming, it's so cold outside, drink some ginger soup to warm up. She said, her eyes full of anticipation.
I took the ginger soup with some embarrassment and took a sip, and the warmth suddenly welled up from the bottom of my heart. "Thank you, the ginger soup is very well done. I said to her sincerely.
When she heard this, a big smile appeared on her face, and she looked extremely happy. Another time, when I had a cold, she boiled a pot of thick ginseng chicken soup with her own hands to feed me.
"Brother Xiao Ming, you have been feeling unwell recently, drinking more of this ginseng chicken soup is good for your health. She said as she brought the spoon to my mouth.
I began to struggle repeatedly, whether to choose this girl and the house to marry, or to stick to my ideals and find the girl I liked? Idealism and realism unfolded a fierce wrestling in my heart.
I sometimes feel that the girl is indeed very good, and maybe we can get along with each other and slowly cultivate sincere feelings; Sometimes I feel that if I force myself, then I am destined to live in regret for the rest of my life.
In this way, I wandered between ideals and reality, suffering from gains and losses, unable to choose.
These tangled thoughts swirled in my mind, leaving me sleepless and in a trance. My heart is like the sea that has been ravaged by a storm, undulating and choppy.
Sometimes, I even get tormented by these contradictory voices in my dreams and have some ridiculous dreams. In my dreams, I would see myself surrounded by a pile of banknotes, but I would never see the sun again; Or, I would dream that I was standing in front of a mansion only to find that the people inside were all unfamiliar faces.
In the dead of night, I often sit alone at the head of my bed, with my hands on my knees, my brow furrowed, and I am lost in thought. My eyes were always a little bleak, as if I was staring at something far away.
Sometimes, I would subconsciously clench my fists so hard that my nails would sink into my flesh, as if I would be in control of my own destiny. But the next second, I would let go of my fist again, hang my arms weakly, and sigh.
The corners of my mouth often unconsciously go down, and there is always a hint of melancholy between my eyebrows. Occasionally, I would stand up and pace around the small room, as if that would make a way to the future.
Yet, no matter how much I paced and pondered, I still couldn't make up my mind. My mind wanders between ideals and reality, unable to choose.
While I was struggling, my relative finally couldn't hold it anymore and came to me and asked me for a letter.
"Xiao Ming, do you have to make a number! Do you want a house, or do you want to pay a dowry of 280,000 yuan? "Relatives asked me bluntly.
My heart was clenched all at once. yes, it's useless for me to put it off, I have to make a choice. However, no matter which path I choose, I will lose something important.
Seeing that I was hesitant, my relatives showed impatient looks: "Xiao Ming, you have to think twice! Opportunities are reserved for those who are prepared, and if you delay any longer, we will have to make another plan." "
After thousands of nights of tossing and turning, I finally made up my mind. I want to live for my ideals!
I took a deep breath and said firmly to my relatives: "I'm sorry, I can't accept the dowry house." While the house is important to me, I'm not willing to sacrifice my feelings. I'd rather continue renting than force myself to marry someone I don't love. "
Relatives and girls were shocked by my words and looked at each other. My relative's face turned pale, as if he didn't expect me to be so decisive.
"Xiao Ming, you have to think twice! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, do you really plan to give up like this?" Relatives persuaded.
Tears welled up in the girl's eyes, and she looked at me helplessly, as if to question why I had hurt her feelings in such a way. I looked at her, and my heart was extremely painful, but I made up my mind that I could not waver.
When the relatives heard this, their faces were a little ugly. But my determination has been made, and nothing can shake me.
"Okay, since you've decided, then we won't force you!" The relative said coldly, "But you have to think twice, this is a golden opportunity, do you really plan to give up like this?"
I nodded firmly: "I've thought about it, it's my final decision." "
The relatives stood up angrily and glared at me fiercely, as if to say that I was an idiot. Then, he turned around and walked away, without even saying hello.
The girl still stood there dumbfounded, tears streaming down her eyes. I stepped forward to explain something, but found I couldn't speak. Eventually, I watched helplessly as she walked out the door.
Since then, my life seems to have been reinvigorated. Although I am still just an ordinary office worker, I work very hard and am determined to realize my dream as soon as possible.
Although life has been a bit harder, I have never regretted my decision. Every time I see the number of people in my passbook growing, I feel a sense of accomplishment. I know that as long as I continue to work hard like this, one day, I will be able to have my own nest.
And so the days went by. Sometimes, I also miss the days when I had nothing, but my heart was much simpler than it is now. However, I don't regret giving up that opportunity, because I cherish my inner freedom more.
Yes, I am poor, but I have ideals; I'm shabby, but I have self-esteem. As long as you have a dream in your heart, you will definitely be able to find your way to happiness. I believe that one day, I will be able to win my own world with my own hands.
Since that breakup, my life seems to have regained its vitality and motivation. Although I am still just an ordinary office worker, I work very hard and am determined to realize my dream as soon as possible.
I started cutting back and trying to minimize my expenses. Sometimes I don't go to restaurants to eat until I work late, but buy simple ingredients and cook a light meal at home. I even started learning how to manage my money, dividing my monthly salary into several parts, part of which I used to invest in funds.
Although life has been a bit harder, I have never regretted my decision. Every time I see the number on my passbook growing, I feel a sense of accomplishment. I know that as long as I continue to work hard like this, one day, I will be able to have my own nest.
Yes, though I am poor, I have ideals; Although I am shabby, I have self-esteem. As long as you have a dream in your heart, you will definitely be able to find your way to happiness. I believe that one day, I will be able to win my own world with my own hands.
Just when I was hungry for my ideals, a new relationship quietly sprouted.
That's a colleague of mine, named Xiaoli. She is a lively and cheerful girl, who works very hard and is optimistic and positive in life. We often work overtime together, and I really appreciate her sunny personality.
Once, when we were working late overtime, she offered to treat me to a late-night snack. We went to a small restaurant together, ate simple pasta, talked and laughed.
"Xiao Ming, have you lost some weight recently? Pay attention to take care of your body!" She said with concern as she ate.
I was touched by her thoughtfulness, and said with a smile: "It's okay, it's just that I've been saving money recently, so I've saved some expenses." "
When she heard this, a flash of understanding flashed in her eyes, as if she had guessed my intentions. She didn't say much, just nodded vigorously, her eyes full of encouragement and support.
Since then, there seems to be a special tacit understanding between us. From time to time, she would bring me some nutritious snacks and tell me to take care of my body; And I will take the initiative to share some financial tips so that she can also lay a foundation for the future.
In this way, we support each other, encourage each other, and move forward together towards our ideals. Sometimes, I can't help but look at her clean face, and an indescribable feeling comes to my heart.
Gradually, I found myself having some indescribable feelings for Xiaoli. Whenever I see her, my heart always jumps with joy; Every time she gave me a concerned look, I would be warm.
I began to pay attention to her words and actions, what she liked to eat, and what habits she hated. Sometimes I take a long detour just to see her more in the morning.
I was stopped by her straightforward question, and I didn't know how to answer. Seeing this, she snorted and laughed: "Don't be nervous, I'm just asking casually." "
However, since then, there has always seemed to be some indescribable ambiguity between us. We'll make more eye contact, more physical intimacy. Sometimes, I would unconsciously get so close that I could smell the scent in her hair.
I knew that I really had feelings for her that went beyond my colleagues. But I didn't know how to speak. I'm afraid that if I say it, it will break this tacit understanding between us.
So, I buried this feeling deep in my heart and let it take root and slowly spread in my heart.
However, just as this feeling was swelling day by day, a new struggle began in my heart.
I know that if I really have a relationship with Xiaoli, then I will have to face an unavoidable problem: the house.
I began to hate my poverty, I hated my incompetence. Obviously, Xiaoli is so good, so simple and kind, but I can't even give her a decent home.
I would sit alone at the head of the bed, my hands on my knees, my brow furrowed, lost in thought. My eyes were always a little bleak, as if I was staring at something far away. The corners of my mouth often unconsciously go down, and there is always a hint of melancholy between my eyebrows.