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My name is Zhang San and I am 45 years old. I have been married for 22 years, and my wife's name is Li Si, who is 5 years younger than me. We have a pair of children, the eldest daughter is 20 years old and is in college, and the younger son is 16 years old and still in high school.
Every morning at 7 a.m., I have to get up to make breakfast and then drive my youngest son to school. My wife wakes up more than an hour later than me to tidy up the housework at home. I work as a technician in a manufacturing company, and my job is very stable. At noon, I will make lunch first and eat it together when my wife and son come back. In the afternoon, my wife is at home by herself, and sometimes she goes to the supermarket to buy something. When I come home in the evening, my wife usually makes dinner. After dinner, our family would watch TV and chat.
One night, we were sitting in the living room watching TV as usual, and my wife suddenly said that she had been in pain lately and wanted a divorce. I choked on that, I didn't expect her to say that. I hurriedly asked her why, and she said that in the past 22 years, I have never respected her, and I scolded and beat her at every turn, and she couldn't stand it anymore. I was angry and thought she had gone too far. I've never hit her, I've just scolded her occasionally, and it's not a big deal. But she just cried and grabbed the ground, and she had to get a divorce.
"What do you say? How have I ever beaten you? It's just that occasionally I get angry and scold you, and you care so much?" I said a little annoyed.
"You still don't admit it! Every time you get angry, you punch and kick me, beat me all over my body, and you treat me like a domestic animal!" The wife wailed and cried.
"Okay, okay, don't talk about it all the time. I'm so tired from work, and sometimes I really can't control my temper, but I've never really hurt you. "I tried to calm her emotions.
"You're still quibbling! I can't stand people like you anymore, I want a divorce, I want to take the children away!" She broke down and burst into tears.
"Don't make a fuss, you can leave if you want! Enraged by her, I rushed into the bedroom and slammed the door.
From that day on, my wife and I were strangers. She began to avoid me, minimizing contact with me. She used to take the initiative to cook the food and wait for me to get home, but now she eats it herself and leaves the leftovers on the table. Sometimes I come home and see a plate of leftovers on the table and know that she eats it herself. We seldom speak, and even if we do, we speak coldly. She started hiding the money and wouldn't let me use it. Once I asked her where the money was, and she scolded me directly, saying that she earned the money, and I was not qualified to ask.
One night, when I saw my wife secretly counting the money again, I couldn't help but get angry: "What kind of money are you counting?
"What's your business! This is my salary, I can do whatever I like, I don't need you to care!" She replied with a puff of salt.
"You're okay! I'm going out to earn money and you're lying flat at home, and now you still think I'm nosy!" I was furious and threatened to beat her.
"If you dare to hit me, I'll call the police right away and let you learn a lesson!" She didn't show weakness at all.
I was so angry that I wanted to beat her half to death with a stick. But I finally held back and didn't really do it. I sneered, scolded "stinky woman" and walked away.
"Fuck you, I'm sick of you!" She cursed behind her.
The children, alarmed by our movements, also ran out. Seeing this, the eldest daughter glared at me with hatred and helped my wife back to the bedroom.
Looking at the backs of my wife and daughter, my feelings are extremely complicated. What ups and downs have not been experienced in 22 years as a husband and wife? How loving we used to be, but now we have come to the point of divorce. I began to hate my temper tantrum, and it was my bad temper that ruined the house. But my wife is also at fault, how can she do this to me? I have worked hard to earn money to support my family by myself, but she hides private money at home, and she wants to turn against me? Thinking of this, I began to wonder if she had something else to hide.
I briefly explained the matter, and Xiao Wang pondered for a moment and said: "I understand you, your temper is indeed a little explosive, but beating your wife is definitely something you can't do." However, as a man, you are too unreasonable to deal with things at home, right? If your wife is often choked by you like this, she will inevitably get angry and disgusted. You have to learn to be more considerate of your wife at home and communicate more, instead of losing your temper at every turn. "
Xiao Wang's words made me a little embarrassed, it seems that I still have big problems and defects. I secretly made up my mind that I must correct my mistakes and make up for this marriage.
Since then, I have begun to deliberately suppress my temper and try not to provoke my wife. But my wife seems to have made up her mind to divorce, completely ignoring my efforts and changes. Once, when I prepared her favorite dish and waited for her to come back, she threw it in the trash and ignored me. Another time, I bought her an expensive necklace to make her happy, and she threw the necklace in my face without saying a word. My good intentions were hit and hurt again and again, and the anger and disappointment in my heart were growing day by day.
One night, my wife was secretly counting the money again, and I finally couldn't bear it anymore and snatched all her money. The wife was furious, and she was punched and kicked. I was beaten all over by her, but she didn't think she was beating hard enough, and she picked up a kitchen knife and was about to stab me! I was so frightened that I quickly grabbed the kitchen knife and pushed her to the ground. She screamed so hard that I realized I had really hurt her.
"Ahh The wife clutched her stomach and curled up on the ground in pain.
"Get out of here! I want to kill you brute!" She lunged at me with all her might, trying to snatch the kitchen knife.
We just scuffled together, and we tore it upside down. The children were woken up and rushed out to fight, but no one could stop us from fighting frantically.
"Dad, Mom, stop fighting!" The eldest daughter and the youngest son cried, but none of us listened.
Eventually, the neighbors heard the commotion and called the police, who came and pulled us away. That night, my wife and I were both taken away and put in a detention center.
I knew that if this continued, our marriage would be ruined. I had to correct myself and get back to the gentle and considerate self I was back to. At the same time, I also have to try to make up for my wife and make her trust me and accept me again. Only by working together can our marriage have a day when hope is rekindled.
"Wife, let's have a good talk. Back home, I said to her sincerely, "I know I was wrong, my temper and violence hurt you, and I sincerely apologize to you." But you're not entirely wrong, are you? The two of us are caught in a vicious circle, and the contradictions are getting deeper and deeper. We must understand each other and correct our mistakes together in order to come together again. "
The wife lowered her head and was silent for a long time, and then she said quietly: "Yes, both of us are at fault." I also know that many of the things I do irritate you and cause you to spiral out of control. We really need to reflect hard and regain the feelings we had back then. "
"That's good, let's start now, slowly repair the broken relationship, and start over. I said, cautiously stepping forward and hugging her. She didn't hide from it, just silently shed tears.
Since then, I have been determined to get rid of my temper. Whenever I feel like I'm going to get angry, I take a deep breath and tell myself to calm down. Sometimes I get so angry that I take the initiative to leave the scene and go for a walk to calm down. I also began to be deliberately gentler and more considerate to my wife. As long as she does something wrong, I stop shouting insults, but patiently point out her mistakes.
When my wife saw that I was really changing, she became enthusiastic again. She began to take the initiative to make food and wait for me to come home and clean the house. Sometimes I come back too late and she will kindly leave the meals in the incubator. She no longer deliberately annoys me, and is more docile and considerate to me. Seeing these changes in her, my heart is extremely relieved, and I feel that our marriage has finally rekindled hope.
In order to repair my marriage, in addition to correcting my own shortcomings, I also decided to be more considerate of my wife and care more about her. Once on her birthday, I took a day off and cooked a table of good dishes for her. She was so happy to eat that she praised my workmanship. After dinner, I bought her a beautiful dress as a birthday present. She was as happy as a little girl, and immediately put on her skirt and spun it around in front of me. I looked at her happy smiling face, and my heart was extremely warm.
In addition to this, I also started to take the initiative to share the household chores, washing the dishes and washing the pots as soon as I finished cooking every day. On weekends, I clean my house thoroughly. Sometimes my wife is cooking, and I take the initiative to go to the supermarket to buy some ingredients she needs. Gradually, the atmosphere at home became extremely harmonious and warm, and we were as sweet as a young couple who were in love again.
Looking at my wife who has regained happiness in front of me, my heart is full of gratitude and happiness. Once upon a time, we almost missed out on this beautiful marriage because of my violence and her willfulness. It was God who gave us a chance to start over, so that I could wake up in time and correct my shortcomings.
I sincerely thank God for His mercy and for giving us a chance to rekindle the flame of love. I vowed that no matter what happened, I would never let this marriage break up again. I will use my life to cherish and love this woman who has been hurt by me.
One night, our family was watching TV in the living room. My wife suddenly said, "Lao Zhang, do you remember how we came together back then?"
"How can you not remember?" I would smile and say, "That was the craziest thing I've ever had in my life." "
"Are you talking about the time in the park when you stopped me and kissed me and I kicked me away?" The wife quipped.
"Haha, yes! You bit my lip right away. But in the end, I was not impressed by my enthusiasm and offered to give me the phone number?" I burst out laughing.
"You're so shameless! It's obvious that you're stalking, and I can't help but reluctantly agree. "My wife hammered me in disgust.
I hurriedly took her into my arms and kissed her lightly on the forehead: "Okay, okay, no matter what happened back then, anyway, in the end, we achieved the right result." Look, aren't we living happily ever after?"
"Yes, although there were some twists and turns in the middle, we finally came together. My wife leaned into my arms and smiled happily.
Since then, our family's lives have changed dramatically. My wife and I regained the sweetness of the past, and the whole house was filled with happiness.
I began to consciously control my temper, and I no longer had the same vexatious and angry temper as I used to. As soon as I felt like I was going to lose my temper, I would take a deep breath and suppress the anger in my heart. Sometimes I get so angry that I choose to leave the scene for a while and wait until I calm down before moving on. I have also learned to patiently point out some of my wife's minor faults instead of shouting insults as I used to.
When my wife saw that I was sincerely trying to change myself, she became docile and caring. She began to take the initiative to share the housework, and would take care of everything in the house every day. She would never deliberately annoy me again, but would try to accommodate me so as not to make me feel unpleasant. Sometimes when I come back late from overtime, she will leave dinner in the incubator and wait for me.
In this way, our family life has become extremely harmonious and warm, as sweet as a newlywed couple. The children were very happy for us. The eldest daughter often said that she would no longer have to worry about our conflicts as she used to. The youngest son can finally grow up healthily in a warm environment and no longer suffer from the conflicts of his parents.
In retrospect, we were able to regain our happiness thanks to the joint efforts and changes of the two of us. If only one person corrects the shortcomings and the other person rests on his laurels and goes his own way, our marriage will never be repaired.
Marriage is like a tree, it needs to be watered and cared for by two people in order to grow into a towering tree with evergreen leaves. If only one side is working and the other is doing nothing, sooner or later the tree will wither and wither. We almost cut off this tree of love with our own hands, but in the end, we woke up and re-cultivated it together.
I sincerely thank God for giving us a chance to start over. If it weren't for that horrific incident of domestic violence, I would never have been able to reflect on myself and continue my violent acts until I finally broke my wife's heart completely. And if she can't get hurt by me, she may never be able to change her waywardness. It was that incident that brought both of us to our senses and found an opportunity to repair our marriage.
Today, my daughter has graduated from college and works for a company. My son is about to graduate from high school and is about to go to college. My wife and I are very proud and relieved to see that our two children have grown up.
I believe that with our good example over the years, they will be able to find their own happiness in the future. And my wife and I will definitely give them full support and blessings, and love them in our own way as always.
Let our family continue this strong family affection and love from generation to generation in this warm family. As long as we truly love each other, understand each other, and tolerate each other, there is nothing that cannot be solved. We will surely reach the end of life happily.