Some people mistakenly think that family members can talk freely with each other, no matter what they can tell their family members, and they will even be complacent about their honesty in their hearts, feeling that they are worthy of the title of "the most sincere family member".
In fact, those self-righteous ideas are wrong. Whoever it is, they should keep some little secrets in the family so that they can maintain family harmony.
Especially as people get older, every sentence may be thought about again and again by future generations. The important thing is that even if you say something wrong, it will be difficult to have enough time to overturn it.
Regardless of right or wrong, when a word is spoken, its impact has already been felt and has the potential to cause irreparable damage.
As we grow older, we should keep the following three things in mind and never reveal them to our children under any circumstances.
One: partiality towards children
In the family, children are most concerned about the partiality of their parents, and even if they do not speak, they will still feel very uncomfortable in the face of their parents' indifference. As parents who are about to enjoy their old age, we must not say partialistic words towards our children, especially we should restrain ourselves and observe our actions and words to avoid leaving a bad influence on our children.
For the sake of your children's future and the relationship between their siblings, you need to think deeply. After all, your decisions and actions will have a profound impact on the future. Think carefully about your options and make the best decision.
After all, there are too many such tragedies. One hundred years after the death of a parent, the partiality between siblings is always inevitable. They compare their parents' previous behaviors one by one, which eventually leads to heated arguments and sometimes even lifelong feuds.
As parents, we need to have the foresight to consider how what we say might have on our children. It is very important to think ahead and choose the right words.
If you already know that the consequences will not be good, don't show your partiality for your children anymore. This is a necessary rule to keep family relationships harmonious and in good shape.
Two: Dissatisfaction with one's partner
Spending decades with your partner inevitably encounters many contradictions and conflicts, but it is also an opportunity to grow and learn.
In order to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts, it is best to digest the conflicts and dissatisfaction with our partners by ourselves, and do not discuss them with our family members easily. Doing so will protect our personal relationship with our partner and prevent family members from getting too involved.
If your spouse learns that you have done something bad, your happiness in later life may suffer. In the same way, if your children knew, their emotional scales would be subtly tilted. We should approach our actions with responsibility and conscience so that we can be truly happy in our lives.
Whatever feelings you have for you or your partner, it will eventually hurt both people's hearts.
Even if you have a lot of grievances with your partner, it's best to digest them yourself, or come up with ways to not hurt feelings and subtly guide the other person to make changes. It's a smarter choice.
Three: Complaining about the fathers
Whether children are filial or not depends on the parent's method of education. If you often take your complaints about your parents to your children, it is very likely that the child will not show filial piety. Parents should always maintain a positive attitude and cultivate respect and love for their children through their own words and deeds. In this way, the next generation can have filial piety.
Mr. Sun often recounts the mistakes made by his fathers in front of his children and grandchildren, and is full of complaints.
He always complained that he was unfortunate and felt that he was born at the wrong time. He believed that if his father had been born decades earlier, his life would have been different. And he believes that the social era in which he lives does not provide him with superior living conditions. At the same time, he complained that his parents did not provide him with enough support, so that he could not learn more skills and thus earn more wealth. This unsatisfactory feeling recurred in his mind, and he even blamed it on his own parents.
He always blamed his father's fate and misfortune, and this perception was deeply ingrained in his heart. Not only that, but his children often heard him talk about it, and even began to complain privately that he was not accomplished.
When he heard the news, he felt broken inside. However, he knows that his influence can lead to complaints from children. So he restrained his behavior, and the children rarely complained about him anymore. This was a relief for him, knowing that as a father, his actions had a profound impact on his children.
When you are older, it is best to keep the following three things in your heart, you can know it yourself, and there is no need to tell your children. Unless you deliberately provoke conflict, you don't have to embarrass yourself.
You will eventually realize that as a wise elder, you must first avoid inadvertent words. In some cases, staying silent will make you feel more comfortable.
Remember, speaking ill of us is harmful. Only by self-restraint can we live more freely and comfortably.