Text\ Xiaowen
Love, sometimes we revel in it, and sometimes it makes us miserable. We have all stumbled on the road of love, looking for our own happiness. However, when we find out that we love the wrong person, how do we choose?
My cousin recently encountered such a bad thing, during the Chinese New Year, she was happy to tell me that she found her Prince Charming, when I looked at her who was carried away by love, I wanted to remind her: don't rush into it, but then I thought: the girl who fell in love must not listen, so I didn't say anything.
Soon, my cousin called me and cried. The cousin said that she didn't expect that he would be such a man, eating from the bowl and looking at the pot, she was extremely aggrieved, after all, she had paid so much, but she didn't expect such an ending.
I said to my cousin that it didn't take long for you to discover his true colors, isn't that a good thing?
If it's all feelings, it's okay, because it's not "valuable"!
If there is anything else, then it can be regarded as a lesson, and it has been taught a lesson, and there is nothing to be gained!
Don't be sad, his shamelessness allows you to see him clearly in time, and you can stop the loss in time, which is a blessing.
There is a saying:
"Life is a series of letting go, and your happiness depends on how quickly you choose to let go. ”
When we realize that we love the wrong person, we don't have to turn against him, and we don't have to hold grudges, but we should get out of it gracefully, learn to grow, and face the future with a better attitude, which is really smart!
Smart women know that if you do the following three things well, you will already win.
01 Thank you to the people who hurt you, let you learn to grow, this is the pattern
The Buddha said,
"The person who hurts you is actually here to cross you. ”
Life is like a practice, and in the process of this practice, most people have to go through some setbacks and tribulations. The hurt in love is undoubtedly one of the most heart-wrenching, but this kind of heartache is also the only way to practice. Because it is these injuries that allow us to learn how to protect ourselves and how to love others better.
So, when we are hurt in love, sadness and anger can be there because we are human beings and need to vent the resentment in our hearts. But there is really no need to turn your face with the person who hurt you, because even if you turn your face, you will not be able to fall into any good, after all, you are not as low as his bottom line.
In that case, think of such experiences as a catalyst for your own growth, and let every heartbreak be an opportunity for self-reflection and maturity.
Sometimes, if you look at the same problem from a different angle, your mentality will be different.
My cousin also wanted to tear up with that man at first, and wanted to expose his true face in the circle of friends, but I said to my cousin that the wicked have their own wicked grinding, and you think that this can make him lose face, but in fact, people don't care at all, and it may make you very depressed, so the gains outweigh the losses.
Therefore, it is better to improve our own pattern and thank those who have hurt us, because it is they who give us the opportunity to re-examine ourselves, recognize our own shortcomings, and find the seeds of growth in the pain.
Only painful growth can give birth to precious pearls.
02 Let go decisively, stop losses in time, and love yourself well
Someone has said:
"Love is not the whole of life, without love, you still have yourself. ”
It's not terrible to love the wrong person, it's terrible to know that love is wrong, and you're still entangled there, and you can't extricate yourself from it, so that you are hurt even more.
True love needs time to be tested, and isn't it a good thing for you to test the authenticity now?
After discovering that you love the wrong person, the smartest thing to do is to let go decisively. Since you know that love is wrong, you must stop the loss in time and love yourself well.
This is not only an act of self-preservation, but also a kind of respect for self.
Some people say:
"It's so hard to let go of what you love, but sometimes, letting go sets you free. ”
Yes, when you decide to let go, it's painful, but it's also a relief.
After going through the sadness and pain, and even wanting to confront and scold the man in person, the cousin also wanted to open it, and she was also glad that she found out early, and now her cousin has stepped out of the shadow of the last love, and in her words, she can welcome a new relationship.
Yes, the process of letting go is also a process of self-reflection, in which you learn to examine the true needs of your heart and, more importantly, how to love yourself.
When you start to enjoy your time with yourself, when you start to respect your feelings and needs, you will find that life can be more colorful, and when you fix yourself, you will slowly learn how to love others in a healthier way.
03Stay optimistic and be a better version of yourself
Saying goes:
"Without a cold bone, how can you get the fragrance of plum blossoms?"
When we love the wrong person, loss and pain in our hearts are inevitable. But as this saying goes, it is these setbacks and tribulations that exercise our will and make us more mature and strong. Every fall is to get up better, and every pain is to understand the true meaning of love more deeply.
Facing the failure of love does not mean the end of life. Rather, it's the starting point for a new beginning.
The American psychologist William James once noted:
"One of the biggest discoveries is that one can change one's life by changing one's mindset. ”
Be optimistic and see that every failure in life is another possibility for success.
If revenge makes people feel happy, then the best way to love the wrong person and take revenge on the person who hurt you is to achieve the best version of yourself and let the person who hurt you regret it.
In the TV series "The Temptation of Going Home", Lin Pinru is like this, after Hong Shixian hurt her, she did not give up on herself, but incarnated as a better "Gao Shanshan", and Hong Shixian's stunning eyes again were the best revenge for him.
Turn these unfortunate love experiences into motivation to make breakthroughs in other areas of life. By constantly improving yourself, you will not only become more confident and independent, but you will also attract people into your life who are truly right for you.
04 Mei Niang said
By being thankful for the person who hurt you, letting go and loving yourself, and being optimistic, you will not only be able to walk away from the wrong love, but you will also be able to become a more mature and attractive woman.
The experience of all this, although painful at first, will eventually make you grateful. Because it is these experiences that make you a more complete you, a more knowledgeable you who know how to love and be loved.