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For Zhou Rong's life, many people think that she lives a chic life and thinks that she is the happiest daughter of the Zhou family, but no one understands her inner frustration.
Today, I want to talk about Zhou Rong's life from Zhou Rong's point of view, and experience her life in the way of Zhou Rong's self-description.
It's about love
I am a woman who puts love first, I have longed for pure and beautiful love since I was in middle school, I envy the love of Margaret in "La Traviata", and I also envy Carmen's pursuit of love.
Perhaps a girl's catastrophe began with the pursuit of love.
One day in middle school, I saw Feng Huacheng's poems in newspapers and magazines, and his poems were full of romance.
It was that kind of romance that attracted me deeply, and I thought that a poet who could write such a romantic poem must be an interesting person.
Later, I wrote to him at the address in the newspaper, and he kept replying to my letters, and I thought he would be able to see in my letters that I adored him.
I even secretly went to Beijing to look for him, and I was very happy to see that he was indeed a poet full of romance.
Many years later, I realized that when I first met Feng Huacheng, I had a filter on his appearance.
At that time, I was complacent about meeting Feng Huacheng, especially when I confessed to him successfully, I felt that I was the happiest woman in the world.
A woman who thinks that if you have love, you have everything.
When I learned that he was sent to Guizhou, I secretly went to Guizhou to find him without telling my parents and brothers, and I even used Cai Xiaoguang as a flower messenger.
I have lived in Guizhou for more than ten years, and I can endure any hardship for love.
And Feng Huacheng also listened to me for everything because I accompanied him to endure hardships in Guizhou.
One day, the good news came, Feng Huacheng was rehabilitated and could return to Beijing to work, and I was admitted to a university in Beijing as I wished.
I was glad that I was finally going to see the moon open, but I didn't know that returning to Beijing was a sign of a storm.
Feng Huacheng, who returned to Beijing, began to drink heavily, cheat, and be arrogant, he changed, and I didn't know him anymore, and I finally filed for divorce in patience, and then I returned to my hometown to work.
At this time, I also married Cai Xiaoguang, who had been pursuing for many years.
But I don't love Cai Xiaoguang, I married him to repay him for years of waiting and help.
Zhou Rong, who was love-first back then, is now also in marriage.
Cai Xiaoguang is also a person who puts love first, which is the same for us.
He waited for me for many years, even during the 12 years that my daughter and I were in France, he continued to wait for me.
I am touched that Cai Xiaoguang can continue to wait in a hopeless marriage, if it were me, I may not be as good as him.
So even though he found 4 lovers in the more than ten years I went abroad, I was not angry at all, because of two reasons, the first is that I don't love him and don't take what he does to heart.
Second, I feel very touched that a man can wait for me for decades.
These two reasons are enough for me to forgive Cai Xiaoguang.
It was because of his insistence on waiting that I gave him a happy old age, and I feel that I owe him this.
About family affection
Not educating my daughter Yueyue well was the biggest failure of my life.
When I was young, I put Yueyue in my parents' house for the sake of my ideals, and I didn't have time to educate her.
When Yueyue was a teenager, Feng Huacheng and I divorced her, and I hurt her again.
Later, she lived in Dongmei's sister-in-law's maiden house, enjoying the life of the second generation of officials, and was even more reluctant to get close to me, her mother.
Every time I wanted Yueyue to go home, Yueyue's eyes were full of hatred, so I didn't dare to mention letting her come back to me.
I often blame myself, it is precisely because Yueyue left her alone when I was a child, so Yueyue and my relationship are not close, and I can rarely hear what she is saying.
If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't have left my daughter for myself.
After going to France to find Yueyue, in order to make up for Yueyue, I discussed everything with her and sought her opinion.
I work on my own, support my daughter, let her go to university in France, encourage her, support her, and cheer her on when she feels hard.
When I knew that Yueyue asked me for money to secretly give to Feng Huacheng, I also pretended not to know.
When Yueyue told me that Nan Nan was coming to see us, I tried my best to pretend to be very happy, and I even hugged Nan Nan and accepted that he was the person Yueyue liked.
In order to close the distance between me and my daughter, I did enough homework, which I did ten years late, so I had to pay more price and energy.
I became a mother who pleases her daughter.
Nan Nan's death made Yueyue feel like a different person, and then she kept arguing with me, and after returning to China, she didn't look for a job well, and even found me an old son-in-law in his 50s.
For this reason, I almost broke off the mother-daughter relationship with my daughter.
Later, I slowly accepted my daughter's selfishness and rebellion, just as my parents accepted my selfishness and rebellion in the first place.
In my later years, I am very grateful for Xiaoguang's company and guidance.
I also saw more excellent brilliance from him, and even with his encouragement and support, I created excellent works.
I pursued love all my life, but I was betrayed by my husband, and I valued family affection, but I was complained by my brother and estranged from my daughter.
My mistake was to value love too much, to make my dreams come true, and to neglect to be with my daughter.
Although God treated me very well and gave Cai Xiaoguang to accompany me in his later years, I still lost my most precious thing after all.
I am not as chic as outsiders seem, and the rest of my life is often tormented by love and family affection.
Now that I think about it, there really is no such thing as a perfect life.
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