01
Some people have a kind of narrow-mindedness: he obviously takes advantage of it, but he still complains about the misery. Qian Zhongshu said that this is "complaining about the bitterness, so as to avoid others from sharing the sweetness".
For example, we often hear people who have raised sons complaining wildly there: raising a son is useless and a big loss.
If you raise your son, provide for your son's schooling, buy a house for your son and get married, you have to contribute money and efforts to help raise your grandson. When the grandson is older, he has been squeezed dry, and he has become a burden to his son and daughter-in-law. Return to his hometown and live a bleak old age. My son didn't have time to see himself, not even on the phone. This is their suffering.
Is it really useless to raise a son? Is it really a big loss?
02
Would parents rather have sons or daughters?
In the eighties and nineties, both workers suffered from the family planning policy, and no one dared to lose their jobs easily, so only one boy or woman could give birth. The one who gives birth to a daughter, the kind of loss in his heart, the one who gives birth to a son does not.
In the countryside in the eighties and nineties, the phenomenon of superborn guerrillas must be fresh in everyone's memory. At that time, it was not a matter of fines, house evacuation, or arrests, and I tried to give birth to a son to the end.
After letting go of the second child, couples around the age of 40 are still willing to fight for a second child, mostly because they only have one daughter and want a son. Giving birth at an advanced age, this risk is not a joke.
Now it is the era of letting go of the third child, if the first child gives birth to a son, the second child will not want to be born, let alone the third child. The second child is basically a daughter and wants a son!
Facts have proved that people have a deep-rooted "want a son" complex, which also shows that there is still sweetness in having a son!
03
Is there any sweetness in giving birth to a son?
Some people say that the son is the "nuclear weapon" of your family, maybe not needed, but it must be there, and it is the confidence of a family. The analogy is convincing.
Giving birth to children is different from feeding pigs and cattle, don't always rely on feeding pigs and meat, raising cattle and plowing the land. The meaning of having children is not only utilitarian, but also ethical.
It's useless to complain about raising a son, and it's a big loss, it's nothing more than a bride price for a house and a car. Suppose you are 50 years old, you have enough assets to pay for the bride price of a house and a car, but you only have a daughter and no son, and you don't even have a daughter.
has a son, even if he is not by your side, he does not have great ability, the people around you, the neighbors around you, even if they will not look down on you, but at least they dare not bully you.
When you can't move, when you lie on the bed and ask someone to scrub and turn over, having a son by your side is almost your hands and feet, and it is the continuation of your body and life. With his son by his side, this kind of intimacy and steadfastness brought by him will even give way to death.
If there is a son, the genealogy of your family, after you, there is the next page. If you don't have a son, your family will end here.
Life is actually two things, one is to make money, and the other is to make a baby. The words are not rough.
04, why did the parents who gave birth to their sons complain?
Those who didn't have a son dreamed of wanting a son, and those who gave birth to a son were desperately complaining about their son, what is it really like?
It must be admitted that raising a child is very hard, the cost of marriage is high, the parents invest a lot, and the parents are neglected after the son gets married. However, this is not a reason for the parents of their adopted sons to recite the "Sutra of Suffering".
Parents who adopt their sons should not sit back and enjoy the dividends of marriage and not bear the cost of marriage. When he was alive, he had to think that he would marry a wife in the future, which would cost money, and it was possible to empty his life savings.
It is not easy to raise a son, but who is easy? Raising a daughter does not still have to provide food, clothing, and schooling? In the marriage of young people, it is already the parents of both parties who contribute the money and efforts. There are very few parents who rely on their daughters to marry to earn a bride price, right?
There are sons who gnaw at the old and daughters who gnaw at the old. Whether you gnaw at the old or not, not in the gender, but in ability and conduct. It's also about what parents teach. The son who teaches well is strong, and it doesn't cost his parents money to get married, and he has to buy a car and a house for his parents. A son who teaches well, has good conduct, is self-reliant, and starts from scratch.
When you are old and take the baby, grandparents take it, don't your grandparents participate?
As for the fact that parents have become a burden, I don't think we can blindly blame my son and daughter-in-law, because my parents will never become a burden to their son if they are not virtuous.
05
The parents who gave birth to their sons have all kinds of complaints, and they have been reciting the "Sutra of Grievances" non-stop. Parents who give birth to daughters are much tight-lipped a lot.
It is the duty of parents to contribute money and efforts to their sons and bring babies to their sons. Whether it's bitter or tired, you have to bear it anyway, who told you that you are his mom and dad?
Parents who have given birth to a son, don't recite the "Sutra of Bitterness", don't be afraid of others sharing the sweetness!
(The picture in this article is from the Internet, and the infringement will be deleted.) ）