Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
It is said that marriage is the destination of happiness, but many times, marriage can also bring us many troubles.
For example, the friction with her husband, the confrontation with her children, and the trivial things that are ubiquitous in daily life. But the most headache for women is often the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is handled well, the family will be harmonious and happy, but if it is not handled well, it will bring endless contradictions and disputes.
However, there are always some smart women who are able to navigate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Summarizing a large number of cases, it was found that most of them did the following three things.
01
Respect and understanding
If you want to handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law well, the first step is to learn to respect and understand.
Respect here is not only respect for elders, but also acceptance of each other's lifestyles and values.
In fact, each era has its own unique imprint of life, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will naturally have different living habits, including different ways of thinking, growing up in different backgrounds of different eras.
Really smart women, they know how to empathize and try to understand their mother-in-law's thoughts and practices.
They will not clash with their mother-in-law because of some trivial things. Instead, try to listen patiently and communicate gently.
As Confucius said, "Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you." "They understand that only respect and understanding can be exchanged for the respect and understanding of their mother-in-law.
For example, in daily interactions, they will pay attention to their mother-in-law's needs and take the initiative to ask their mother-in-law's opinions and feelings.
When encountering some important things, I will also discuss with my mother-in-law to make her feel respected.
This attitude of respect and understanding can most likely reduce the friction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and make the relationship between them more harmonious.
02
Communication & Inclusion
In fact, most problems between people can be solved through communication. The key is that you have to master the method of communication, as well as the attitude when communicating, and you can achieve good results.
When it comes to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is usually no exception.
A woman who really has a good relationship with her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a master of communication. They understand that only through good communication can misunderstandings be eliminated and unnecessary conflicts avoided.
When there is friction with their mother-in-law, they will not choose to escape or cold war, but will take the initiative to talk to their mother-in-law.
They will use objective language to express their inner thoughts and feelings. At the same time, I will be very patient to listen to my mother-in-law's thoughts.
In the process of chatting, they will not be emotional, let alone criticize and accuse, and pay great attention to the tone and method, so as not to stimulate the nerves of the mother-in-law.
Moreover, they know that everyone has their own shortcomings and shortcomings, including their mother-in-law and themselves.
Therefore, when faced with some small mistakes of their mother-in-law, they will choose to tolerate and forgive. This kind of tolerance is not tolerance, but a wise choice.
As the French writer Victor Hugo said: "The widest in the world is the ocean, wider than the ocean is the sky, and wider than the sky is the human mind." ”
Women who have a good relationship with their mother-in-law will use their minds to try to tolerate the imperfections in the relationship between their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
03
Independence and sharing
In the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, economic independence and housework sharing are often the "hardest hit areas" of conflicts.
Most women who have a good relationship with their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have achieved financial independence and can share housework with their mother-in-law.
Financial independence means that they have their own jobs and incomes and do not need to rely on their husbands or mothers-in-law.
This kind of independence not only gives them more say in the family, but also gives them capital and confidence when facing the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Moreover, a financially independent woman can also have more choices and freedom. They can decide their own way of life and don't have to compromise all the time.
In addition to being financially independent, she shares household chores with her mother-in-law.
Because she understands that the family belongs to everyone, and everyone has the responsibility and obligation to maintain it.
Therefore, in daily life, she will take the initiative to take on housework to reduce the burden on her mother-in-law. This kind of sharing can not only obtain the approval of the mother-in-law, but also make the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law more harmonious.
Women who really have a good relationship with their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they use their wisdom to make the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law no longer a problem.
Their approach is worth learning from. As long as you are willing to apply it to your own life, I believe you can also reap a peaceful relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.