A minimalist life is happiness, and a happy life has a goal, so that there are rich and wonderful possibilities.
After a few days of leisure, I feel at a loss, I want to watch dramas at every turn, I want to waste time, but I am not happy at all, and my heart is full of a sense of emptiness.
I can't settle down, I can't read the book, I just finish the basics, and everything else is drifting away.
I ate well, slept well, and didn't have any worries, but I faintly felt that something was missing.
After thinking about it, I realized that I was missing something called "goal".
Interestingly, every short-term "goal" is triggered by the child's needs and is set for the child.
Like the previous period of the child's emotional disorder and mental collapse, I studied mindfulness and positive psychology for two months, and while I worked hard to practice, I also influenced the child to change.
Now, the child's mood is almost stable, the mentality is stable in learning, fully integrated into the collective life, and he also gets along well with his classmates to play football together, study and live together, and is happy every day, without the loneliness and sadness before.
And I was a little dazed and at a loss in the face of the sudden "abandonment": what should I do next?
In the past few years, my whole life and focus has been around children, accompanying them to learn, participating in their growth, and caring about their lives in every detail.
And now when I am suddenly not needed, I feel a little panicked in my heart, and the "qi" I mentioned is vented in an instant, I don't want to struggle, I just want to go with the flow and get by.
In the past few days, I have tried to be aware of my own heart, what should I do next? Is it time to change the mentality and way of accompanying the child's growth, and pull the focus back to myself?
But all of a sudden, I forgot what I wanted, and it seemed like it was just a job to make ends meet and make money.
Such goals are too vague and make my choices and life very flexible. I finally saw a problem: I forgot my goals for the sake of my children, or I didn't have a goal at all, and I just moved forward for the sake of the current situation of survival.
What is my goal? I'm a little bit weak-minded, I can't tell, I'm not sure.
It seemed like every short goal was a different choice for survival, but I couldn't remember what my real goal was.
The original goal is to enrich myself with reading, and strive to be a good mother who can educate her children, so that she can earn a basic living expenses with reading and writing.
After four years of hard work, I basically became a good enough mother, and I also supported myself with reading and writing, and this goal was basically achieved.
Immediately after that, my goal was to sign a contract and make myself a little bit present. First of all, Baidu Jinmang plan signed, the headline Qingyun plan and the top star plan, and the sense of existence seems to be a little bit.
Later, I wanted to transform my parents' family education psychology to accompany me, and I also made a little improvement, and I also got the praise and trust of many friends.
However, now I lack purpose and motivation. Everything I participated in, I did okay, but I didn't do the top, everything I wanted to do would be better than words, but it was easy to relax.
Specifically, I will do everything I think of, but I don't do it to the extreme, and it is easy to take one step and take three steps back.
Why is there such a lack of stamina? Thinking about it, I don't have a sense of purpose, and my goals are "tied" to my children.
In other words, I will learn and do what the child needs, so that when the child does not need me, I want to "mess up".
After figuring this out, it dawned on me. It turned out that I set phased goals because of my needs, and I lived under the needs of my children and forgot about myself.
If you care, you will be chaotic, you will forget yourself and you will lose yourself.
So, I wondered what I really wanted to do, what could I do to be more specific and clear, what was my own strength, what was the end point that I could keep working hard and never get tired?
This requires abandonment, the need to look at one's own heart, and the need to be honest with one's original intention and choice.
The first half of my life was "living for others", living for unhappiness when I was young, living for survival when I became an adult, living for my children after having children, and now what am I living for?
This is a particularly brain-burning and complex issue, but the clearer it is, the more energetic, purposeful and motivated it is.
If you don't have power, it's easy to float around like duckweed.
So, I need to adjust my mindset and bring the focus back to myself, your children don't belong to you, your honor doesn't belong to you, those are short-term possessions.
And what can accompany you for a long time is your inner strength and firm goal. It is better than a will, it is more than a promise, it is a seed that grows in your heart.
When I understand the importance of goals, I am ready to learn to love myself well enough and use them to make myself grow and progress more wantonly.
I hope that in 5 years, 10 years, I will love life more, I will like myself more, above