Yingzi, a 34-year-old female doctor, went on a blind date 50 times in half a year, all of which were rejected miserably, and was mercilessly ridiculed by the other party, and her mother not only did not comfort her, but also asked Yingzi to write a summary of the blind date failure.
What is behind this "perfection" that makes a 34-year-old female doctor fall to such a point?
Eiko and her mother
The girl's tears slipped quietly in the confinement of her mother
Yingzi was born in a wealthy family, and her parents lived a prosperous life by doing home appliance business. Yingzi has a lively and cheerful personality, and has excellent academic performance since she was a child, and her parents love this only daughter very much. However, the good times did not last long, and when Yingzi was 16 years old, an accidental car accident took his father's life.
When the bad news came, Yingzi and her mother were devastated, and due to their lack of professional knowledge, their mother quickly lost money after taking over the family business. The burden of life fell on my mother all at once. Yingzi clearly remembers that during that time, her mother looked sad, and the whole person seemed to be ten years old.
"It's all because I'm uneducated, if I had the same knowledge as your father, I wouldn't have ruined the family's business. "My mother often wiped away tears and blamed herself. Gradually, her mother realized that only by letting Yingzi study hard could she have the hope of turning over.
Eiko's mother
Since then, the loving mother has changed into a different person. She began to discipline Yingzi strictly, requiring her to devote herself to her studies.
The mother set a strict schedule for Yingzi, and once her grades slipped, her mother would scold her harshly. But not everything is so rosy.
Under the high-pressure control of her mother, Yingzi gradually lost her interest in learning. However, as long as there is a slight decline in grades, her mother will use "if you don't work hard, you will fail your father" to morally kidnap, Yingzi can only burst into tears and grit her teeth to insist.
However, no matter how strong a girl is, her heart also longs for beauty. When the classmates put on bright dresses and light makeup, Yingzi also wanted to dress up beautifully.
Eiko
But the mother thinks that Aimei will only make the girl learn bad and become a "bad woman". The flower skirt that Yingzi secretly bought was cut to pieces by her mother on the spot.
is already a sophomore in high school, and her mother also requires Yingzi to have a capable short hair. Yingzi's tears flowed silently, and those imprisoned youth slipped through her fingers day by day.
What saddened Yingzi the most was that she had a crush on the boy at the same table in the next class. The boy is 1.83 meters tall and plays basketball handsomely, and Yingzi will beat faster every time he secretly goes to the court to "watch the game".
The girl's mind secretly bloomed in the diary, but her mother flipped through it. The mother was furious, rushed directly to the school, and in front of the whole class, she asked the boy sharply: "Is it you who seduced my daughter?" At that moment, Yingzi really wanted to find a crack in the ground to get into.
Since then, Yingzi has completely sealed her girlish heart and devoted herself to studying. With superhuman perseverance, she was admitted to a key university with the first grade in the school, and studied for a master's degree and a doctorate one after another. The mother finally showed a relieved smile, but Yingzi's heart became more and more empty.
Start the road of blind date that is unbearable
Yingzi thinks that a doctorate is like a ticket to a better future. But she didn't expect that what was waiting for her was a bumpy and bumpy blind date.
Yingzi grew up under the strict discipline of her mother, and her mother had extremely high academic requirements for her and could not tolerate a little sloppiness. Fortunately, Yingzi is talented and smart, with excellent grades, and successfully obtained a doctorate.
However, just when she was happy for a bright future, a phone call from her mother was like a thunderbolt from the sky: "If you don't get married, you will become an old girl!"
Only then did Yingzi realize that her mother had given her not only academic responsibilities, but also major marriage events. Because of entering the emotional world, Yingzi had to be at the mercy of her mother. Through various relationships, her mother went around, and finally arranged a blind date for Yingzi when she was 34 years old.
The first time she met the man, Yingzi was so nervous that she was at a loss. She looked at the other party cautiously, for fear of saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing. Fortunately, the man was also on a blind date for the first time, and he behaved very gentlemanly, and the two chatted speculatively on topics such as studies and work.
Just when Yingzi was secretly rejoicing, the man muttered to himself when he said goodbye: "The girl who is studying for a doctorate is not too young..."
Yingzi's heart suddenly cooled down, and she realized that a high degree of education has become a "burden" in the marriage and love market for women.
When she got home, her mother saw that she was frowning, so she asked about the blind date. Hearing that the man was prejudiced against Yingzi's academic qualifications, his mother suddenly became angry: "What's wrong with the doctor? Our Yingzi is not bad! The next time you meet this kind of person, you will leave directly, don't waste time!"
Yingzi reluctantly agreed, but an unspeakable grievance surged in his heart. When she was studying, her mother only stared at her grades; Now that she has graduated, her mother is in a hurry to marry her off. In any case, she struggled to satisfy her mother.
In the days that followed, my mother seemed to have opened the "Pandora's box" of blind dates. In just half a year, Yingzi went on blind dates as many as 50 times, but all of them ended in failure.
Blind date men always seem to be able to find out her various shortcomings: too highly educated, too old, mediocre in appearance, and over time, Yingzi loses confidence in her appearance.
Every time she went home on a blind date, Yingzi washed her face with tears. She didn't understand why so many excellent men didn't appreciate their talent and knowledge.
Why did everyone only care about her age and appearance? What made her feel even more humiliated was that her mother actually asked her to write down the reasons for each failure as a review and submit it for "review", as if she was to blame.
In this regard, Yingzi couldn't hide the dissatisfaction in her heart: "You asked me to take the doctoral exam, and you didn't allow me to make friends when I was studying, but now you think I can't get married!" However, her mother ignored Yingzi's "resistance" and still planned her blind date in her own way.
Yingzi felt more and more desperate, seeing that her peers had already started a family, and only she was still suffering from the ravages of blind dates. Am I going to be lonely and old in this life?
"Doctors can also be deceived", she collapsed after losing her first love
Just when she was disheartened, her mother brought another "good news": a man with a successful career had a crush on her and invited her to dinner.
Yingzi didn't want to go to the appointment, but under her mother's soft grinding, she finally agreed. Unexpectedly, this sight made her rekindle her longing for love.
This man named Zhiming not only looks good and talks extraordinary, but also praises Yingzi's knowledge. The two hit it off at first sight and quickly established a romantic relationship.
Three months have passed, and Yingzi has carefully maintained this hard-won relationship. Zhiming's considerate care made her feel extremely happy, and she was about to talk about marriage, but Yingzi never dreamed that a nightmare came.
One day, Zhiming looked panicked and found Yingzi, claiming that the company's capital turnover had problems and was in urgent need of money. Yingzi hesitated, but still used her savings.
However, as soon as the money was transferred to Zhiming's account, his mobile phone became an "empty number". Only then did Yingzi realize that she had been deceived!
She was heartbroken and washed her face with tears every day, and when her mother learned about this, she first blamed her daughter for being too naïve, and then reflected on whether she was too little in control, and since then, her mother has been more strict with Yingzi's blind date, for fear that she will be deceived again.
Yingzi had already lost confidence in men, and now under her mother's "all-round supervision", she felt even more breathless. As she grew older, she became more and more desperate about her marriage, and even had the idea of giving up on herself, and finally one day, she broke down and cried because of an unintentional joke from the other party on a blind date.
What is it that makes a female doctor so out of control? It turned out that the mother insisted that Yingzi wear a pair of ill-fitting jeans to the appointment to "look thin", and as a result, the pants were opened in public during the date, and the man teased her with a sentence of "why is she so fat", Yingzi was embarrassed and indignant, and tears fell directly.
At that moment, Yingzi seemed to understand something, perhaps, what really hindered her marriage was not her education and age, but her mother's birth of me too ugly, and her mother's excessive intervention.
Since she was a child, her mother has made too many decisions for her, and she has gradually lost the ability to think independently. In the face of feelings, she has no idea, which eventually leads to missed opportunities again and again.
Reflections on both sides after a mother-daughter argument
Yingzi decided to be brave enough to show her thoughts to her mother, and in a long conversation, she expressed the bitterness in her heart: "Mom, I know you are for my good.
But I've grown up, and there are some things that I still have to make up my own minds. The world of feelings is so complicated, how can I leave it all up to you? I need to face it independently and choose my own life.
But the mother didn't listen to it at all, and felt that her daughter's life should be controlled by herself, and each had her own reason, and after some quarrels, the two hid back in their rooms to calm down and reflect.
Yingzi burst into tears, her heart was mixed, she had almost never gone against her mother's wishes since she was a child, but this time, the resentment that had been pent up for many years finally broke out.
Yingzi doesn't understand why her mother can't give herself more freedom and space, why does she have to shape herself, control herself, and arrange her life according to her mother's wishes?
Her daughter's tears and questioning made her heart tremble. She asked herself: Is her education for her daughter over the years really unconditional love?
The mother originally thought that strict discipline was for the good of her daughter, but now she realizes that her stubborn desire to control is actually a disguised injury.
She always asks her daughter to do this and that in the name of "I am for your good", but she never really cares about her daughter's inner thoughts, lacks empathy, and her love is self-righteous, blind, and even selfish.
The mother and daughter pondered in the room for a long time before Yingzi mustered up the courage and gently pushed open the door of her mother's room. The mother's eyes were red, and Yingzi knew that she had also cried, and the two were relatively speechless, but they both read guilt and apology in each other's eyes.
The mother stepped forward and hugged her daughter tightly, tears wetting the ends of Yingzi's hair, "It's my mother who is not good, I never really understand your thoughts, and I blindly love you in my own way, I'm too selfish."
From that day on, the mother and daughter began to re-examine their relationship with each other, and they agreed to communicate more in the future, empathize more, and no longer force and control each other.
The mother learns to let go moderately, giving her daughter more space to make her own choices, and Yingzi also learns to think independently and discuss with her mother more when encountering problems.
They finally understand that education and love are not about making children what their parents want, but about respecting their children's nature, guiding rather than controlling, and letting children grow in their own ideal direction.
Resources:
Pingyi Financial Media: The 34-year-old female doctor was rejected on 50 blind dates, complaining to her mother: Why did you make me ugly and fat
https://www.toutiao.com/article/7215424320384877091/?channel=&source=search_tab
There is a book to read: A 34-year-old female doctor met 50 blind dates in half a year, but was rejected, and her mother asked her to write a summary of her failure
https://www.toutiao.com/article/7262631322035290683/?log_from=60008b1efabb7_1714114573826