1973 was undoubtedly the most changing year of my life.
Although my family was not wealthy, when I was young, I was not afraid of poverty, and I often longed for a better future.
Now that I think about the so-called cheerful personality, I am talking about me when I was younger.
It wasn't until I married the daughter of a widow in the next village that my life fell into "hell"!
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01
My name is Wang Tiannan, I am a well-known filial son in the village, although the family is not wealthy, but my parents have been doing their best to support me and my two younger sisters, because I am the eldest son in the family, so since I was a child, I have taken on the responsibility of taking care of my sister and helping my parents.
At home, I always try my best to share the housework for my parents, especially when my father is getting older and his health is starting to feel a little unwell, and I am even more concerned.
Perhaps to outsiders, our family has always looked like a happy and loving mother and child, but I know that I was not born to my parents, but I have never questioned the love of my adoptive parents.
In order to reduce the burden on my family, I resolutely decided to go to the countryside and joined the team of rural construction.
At that time, going to the countryside was the choice of many young people, and for me, it was an opportunity to spread my wings and dedicate myself to my hometown.
In the process of going to the countryside, I met a girl named Li Jing, who was the daughter of a widow's family in the next village.
Although Li Jing is a few years older than me, she is deeply attracted to me by her strength and kindness, and we slowly get closer to each other and become spiritual dependents of each other.
In that vast rural land, we work together, share joys and sorrows together, and look forward to a better future together.
As time went by, Li Jing and I became more and more affectionate, and we faced the hardships of life together and worked hard to live on this loess land.
Every morning we would go to the fields together, and in the evening, we would sit around the fire and talk about family life.
In the company of Li Jing, I felt an inexplicable happiness, as if there was no difficulty in this world that could stop us.
In this way, we successfully entered the palace of marriage, in that era there was no bride price, and the two lovers were the best.
However, fate is always full of unpredictable twists.
Li Jing is pregnant!
Such news is undoubtedly a source of happiness for our small family, and we look forward to the arrival of a new life, and we look forward to a more complete and happy family.
But this child was not saved, and at that time I only felt that happiness was not easy to come by, but three children in a row either died before they were born, or died of illness just after birth.
In the face of such a situation, I only feel that God is unfair, why my children always leave me one by one, and for a while we both were also labeled as "unlucky".
Despite the enormous challenges we faced, we remained steadfast in our support for each other, and it is undeniable that our love became stronger as a result.
Finally, the appearance of Xiao Wu broke the saying that we are lonely and old, this child grew up safely, but because of premature birth, the lung development is not perfect, so from childhood to adulthood, the hospital is like his second home.
After having Xiao Wu, the two of us put almost all our energy on taking care of the children, and just when I thought everything would get better, the reason why the first four children died one after another was discovered by me!
02
One day after dinner, I stumbled upon an old diary, hidden in Li Jing's drawer, and I opened it with curiosity, which recorded Li Jing's various moods and thoughts.
But when I turned to the last page of the diary, I saw a shocking passage: Li Jing wrote that she had been hiding her relationship with my close relatives.
The two of us are cousins!
This fact hit me like a thunderbolt, I felt as if I was in a fog, I couldn't believe it was real, but the truth was right in front of my eyes.
I didn't know how to face this sudden truth, and my heart was filled with endless confusion and pain.
I stood there blankly with the old diary in my hand, filled with endless confusion and struggle, a discovery that completely turned my perception of life on its head and put me in an unprecedented predicament.
After discovering Li Jing's diary, I couldn't calm down at all, and my heart was full of endless doubts and uneasiness, I needed to figure out what all this was all about, so I decided to talk to Li Jing.
That night I took the old diary and walked into our cabin.
Li Jing was sitting by the fire, busy making dinner, while bowing her head and contemplating. I walked up to her and whispered, "Quiet." ”
She looked up and saw the diary in my hand, with a hint of surprise and fear in her eyes, I didn't speak, just sat quietly next to her, and slowly unfolded the diary.
"Is this your diary?" I finally spoke, my voice a little heavy.
Li Jing nodded silently, her eyes full of remorse and guilt.
"I saw the last page. I continued, "Why do you keep hiding it from me? We are close relatives, cousins!"
A trace of pain and remorse flashed in Li Jing's eyes and said, "Yes, Tiannan, I know that this matter is difficult for you to accept, but I have never dared to tell you, I am afraid that you will leave me." ”
I clenched the diary in my hand, my heart filled with endless doubts and pain, and I asked in a voice that was about to roar out, "Why are you hiding this fact? Why do our children lose again and again?"
Li Jing's tears finally burst out of her eyes and said, "Tiannan, I don't know what to say, I just hope we can be as happy as before." ”
I looked at her tears, and my heart welled up with endless pain and sadness.
Under Li Jing's explanation, I learned that Li Jing only learned after the two of us got married, and I was the child of her eldest uncle's family who was "accidentally lost".
She has known about this lost brother since she was a child, and her aunt often mentioned my physical characteristics to Li Jing, among which there is a hairy black birthmark on the center of her foot, which is evidence that she recognizes me.
Because the birthmark looks like a five-pointed star, my nickname is Xingxing, and although I was very young when I met my adoptive parents, I always had an impression of the nickname "Xingxing".
Faced with this incredible truth, Li Jing and I fell into an unprecedented predicament, and we both felt extremely painful and hopeless for each other, and we didn't even know how to face this sudden reality.
The happiness and beauty we once thought we had have have become an unspeakable nightmare.
I looked at Li Jing, and the despair and helplessness in her eyes were like a knife, and what we thought was a bright future was now completely shattered by this cruel reality.
However, just as we were in despair, a thought gradually rose in my heart: no matter what happened, we could not give up.
03
After that conversation, Li Jing and I calmed down for three or four days, not really estranged, but neither of us knew what to do.
It's just that this is not a solution, after all, one day husband and wife, since I am married to Jingjing, and the mistake has been committed, it is useless to hold you accountable at this time.
So I decided to be a man, after all, we have experienced countless difficulties and challenges together, our love should not be destroyed by this truth, Li Jing and I are both strong people, we will not be knocked down by this reality.
After putting Xiao Wu to sleep, I pulled Li Jing to the small river that we often went to when we were in love.
Even though I've already figured out what to say, I'm still a little nervous when I say it.
"Quietly, we can't go on like this. I whispered, with endless exhaustion and despair in my voice.
Li Jing raised her head, her eyes were full of helplessness and worry, and said, "Tiannan, what should we do?"
I took a deep breath, shook her hand hard and said, "We have to face the reality, no matter what happens, we can't give up, we have experienced countless difficulties and challenges together, and our love should not be destroyed by this truth like this." ”
Li Jing raised her head, a glimmer of hope flashed in her eyes, and said, "You mean...... Can we still be together?"
Seeing the emotion in Jingjing's eyes, I nodded, and my eyes were full of determination,
"Yes, we can't give up our love because of this fact. No matter what happens, we're going to face it together and get through it together. ”
Li Jing's tears couldn't stop flowing and said, "Tiannan, thank you, I will always be by your side." ”
I hugged her tightly, feeling her warmth and firmness.
I told Jingjing: "We will go through all this together, no matter how many difficulties and challenges lie ahead, we will support each other and face them together." ”
Maybe this approach will make many people scoff, but I am already married, and the first task is to stabilize my small family.
At this moment, Li Jing and I felt each other's firmness and support, and we believe that as long as our hearts and hands are connected, we can overcome everything.
After that, Li Jing and I decided to face this reality bravely and support each other to get through the difficulties together, and we believe that as long as we are connected by our hearts, all difficulties will be solved.
For the first 4 children who died young, this situation is undoubtedly cruel, but I can only dedicate all my regrets into love to Xiao Wu.
Note: This story is purely fictional, the names and events in the story are fictional, and the purpose of using place names is only for the purpose of describing the plot and making it easy to read and understand
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