Grandma and grandma are the elders of the next generation of children, and from the child's point of view, one is the mother's mother and the other is the father's mother, and it seems that the relationship with them is no different.
But in fact, grandma and grandma are not exactly the same, and there are still certain differences for children.
What is the difference between grandma and grandma? In the eyes of adults, these differences are obvious
◎The relationship between grandma and child is closer than grandma
Although grandma and grandma are both the elders of the child's generation, you must know that grandma is the elder of the man's family, while grandma is the woman's family.
Since ancient times, after a man and a woman get married, they will go to live in the man's house, which is in line with the long-standing folk culture, just like the birth of a child with the father's surname instead of the mother's.
This kind of folk customs simply means that after the woman gets married, she is a member of the man's family, and her maiden family is already a "relative".
Therefore, when the child is born, he is naturally a member of the man's family, and he is only a "relative" with the woman's family. Then, grandma is the child's real "own parent", her own family, and a family.
Grandma is different, grandma is just a child's "relatives and elders", a person with a foreign surname, and a person from someone else's family.
Therefore, in the eyes of adults, the relationship between grandma and children is naturally closer than grandma.
◎It is natural for children to live with their grandmothers
After the child is born, if he lives in his grandmother's house, then everyone will feel "taken for granted", because grandma's house is their own home, and it is understandable to live here.
However, if the child is taken to live with his grandmother after he is born, people's opinions will be different, and even most people will misunderstand "whether it is divorced" or "the husband and wife are awkward".
Because in folk culture, children are generally not sent to live at their grandmother's house when they are born, unless there are no grandparents, or there are problems in the relationship between husband and wife, etc.
In the eyes of adults, grandma's home is the child's "genuine" home, while grandma's home is just a "temporary place" for children.
◎Grandma pays more attention to educating children, and grandma knows how to love children better
Many people believe that in ordinary life, there are differences in the specific behavior of grandma and grandma towards children.
Because grandma is her own generation after all, when taking care of the child, she will pay more attention to the growth and development of the child, and will not blindly spoil the child, after all, the child will inherit the family business in the future.
However, grandma is different when she takes care of her children, because the relationship between the child and the grandma's family is not big when she grows up, so grandma has more of an unlimited love for the child, and she will not think about whether doting will affect the child's future development and so on.
Of course, this is just an adult opinion, and the facts may differ.
The difference between grandma and grandma is actually clear to children, and these three aspects are more thorough than adults
Unlike adults, the difference between grandma and grandma in the eyes of children is not as adults think:
▶ Grandma and grandma are indeed different, but there is never such a thing as "who must be closer than whom".
In the eyes of adults, grandma is closer, but in the eyes of children, in fact, it is still "unknown" who is closer to grandma and grandma.
The child's judgment of the distance between the grandmother and the grandmother is not determined by kinship, but by the "real material".
For example, if grandma takes care of the child all the time, always accompanies the child, cooks food for the child, takes the child to play fun, and makes the child happy all day long, then the child will feel that the grandma is very good.
And if the grandmother does the same, the child will think that the grandmother is very close to him.
On the contrary, if the grandmother ignores the child all day long, even if the child has been living with the grandmother, he will not feel close to the grandmother.
Although grandma does not often live with the child, but when she meets, she can't put down the child and is full of family affection, so the child will feel that grandma is closer than grandma.
Therefore, in the eyes of children, whoever is better to themselves is closer to him.
▶ There is indeed a difference between grandma's house and grandma's house, but whose family is better is not determined by the relationship between relatives and relatives
Grandma's house and grandma's house are different, but where the child likes to live depends on some details:
(1) The internal environment of the family, such as the interior decoration, whether it is a building, whether there is a yard or even whether there is a dog, etc.
(2) The external environment of the home, such as whether it is located in the city or the countryside, whether there is a park or a small river next to it, etc.
(3) The attitude of the elders, such as whether the elders in the family like or ignore them, etc.
To put it simply, it is where the child's preferences are more in line with the child's preferences, and where the elders are better for the child, the child thinks that the family is better.
▶ Grandma and grandma treat children, and there is no such thing as who is necessarily more rational and who is more emotional
It is said that grandma is a self-parent and will definitely pay great attention to the child's education, but the fact is not necessarily the case, many grandmothers do not pay much attention to the child's education, but the grandmother is very concerned about the child's growth and development.
In the end, who is more rational and who is more emotional, in fact, we must look at it from these aspects:
(1) Whether there is doting on the child, such as obeying the child's words, the old man does not correct the child after the child makes a mistake, but blames others, etc. Elders who do not spoil their children tend to be more rational and pay more attention to their children's future.
(2) Do you have any habits, such as liking to keep your old parenting concepts to "educate" children, and you don't know how to follow the pace of the times to learn parenting concepts and optimize parenting methods.
Elders who are accustomed to the past tend to be more emotional, do not pay attention to the development of their children, and only seek to "feel that they are good to their children".
Many people think that children can't see whether adults are really good or fake to themselves, but in fact, children can't see it, but they are constantly "accommodating" their elders, because children don't want to see the lost expressions of their elders.
Write at the end
Grandma and grandma are the most important elders of children, but they are destined to be different, but what are the differences, it is difficult for adults to see accurately, and only children with personal feelings are the clearest.
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