I like a sentence very much: All things in this world, as long as you can't figure it out, just think about it from the perspective of human nature, and you can solve it!
For example, why did a man abandon his 8-year marriage for 8 seconds of pleasure?
For example, why do men like the new and hate the old, but I don't?
For example, why do men step on two boats and don't want to have a good time, but they don't get divorced?
If you can't figure it out, then you are living on the road of "going against humanity".
Some people will ask: what is "human nature"?
In fact, in essence, "human nature" is "animal nature"
Animality is two: survival and development.
For these two things, animals can do anything, everything is to follow the law of the jungle, there is no good or evil morality, there is no fairness and justice.
For example, in the live broadcast two days ago, a student asked me, my husband said that he couldn't break off with a woman outside, because that woman could help him improve his performance, and he hoped that I could start from the overall situation and help him achieve his career, don't worry about it.
I said, when he said this, did it seem that you ignored it?
The student said, yes, it seems like I'm too stingy.
I said that you have been tricked: a man is immoral to you, betrays you emotionally, cheats you on money, and almost does not pull out a dime of money for you, but he wants you to talk to him about morality, sacrifice, and emotion?
From this conversation, we can see that her husband follows the human logic of the male world: I am the center, and everyone else is a ladder, a tool, and my resources.
The wife, on the other hand, follows the human logic of the female world: the family is the center, I am the ladder, I am the tool, and I am the resource of others, so as to maintain the development of the whole family.
In fact, this is "motherhood", not "human nature".
"Motherhood" is "anti-human".
"Motherhood" actually has a scope of application, for example, you can have motherhood for your children, but you must be restrained from your husband.
If your "motherhood" is rampant, then the result is that the man will be used to being a "bear child" by you.
Behind every scumbag there will be a baby-like wife, or the wife of the Virgin.
If your life dictionary is full of morality, responsibility, commitment, eternal feelings, the joy of giving, the safety of being protected, the quiet years of life, and the peaceful life...... These words, then you must be in a "motherly" world.
You will believe that a man will always love you,
You will believe that good is rewarded with good and evil is rewarded with evil,
You will believe that as long as you give will be rewarded,
You will trust that someone will help you administer justice......
Believe me, the sooner your illusions like this are shattered, the sooner you will be able to truly open your eyes to the real world.
What does the real world look like?
It is a jungle world clothed in a veil of warmth.
It's always about the words on the table and the subtext behind it.
For example, the man's routine I mentioned at the beginning, the rhetoric on the table is "the logic of motherhood": for the sake of this family, you bear with it. The more patient you are, the better you will be, and if you are a good person, God will give you happiness.
The rhetoric under the table is "the logic of human nature": I will coax you first, because now is not the most suitable time for divorce, my property has not been transferred, and I have not yet dealt with that woman, so the best solution is to maintain the status quo.
I use the minimum price to get the highest benefits: I can get the help of that woman outside and develop my career, and I can get my wife's five-star service at home and be emotionally safe, how good is that?
As for your feelings, your interests, your dignity...... What the hell is going on with me?
If you can endure it, it means that you can't do without me, you can't do without me, your status is lower than mine, and you have to accept the "unequal treaty".
In this way, you will understand that all relationships are "motherhood" as the face, and "human nature" as the inside - both should and stand.
And if you can't see through this formula: relationship = motherhood (face) + human nature (inside).
You will be eaten by men, eaten to death, led by men, led by the nose, sold by men, and counted the money for him.
For example, one of my students said that my husband said that he had to fake a divorce from me because of the company's business requirements.
The day before I went to the Civil Affairs Bureau with him, my girlfriend reminded me to look at the divorce agreement, I looked at it and found that there was a problem, if he wanted to transfer the property, he should transfer most of the property to my name, but the property in my name is pitiful, such a fake divorce is meaningless.
I said, you were cheated on by your husband.
What does this mean?
It shows that she only has "maternal thinking" and no "human thinking".
Doesn't the old saying say: You can't have the heart to harm others, and you can't have the heart to prevent people?
What does that mean? It means that you have to keep the string of "humanity" at all times.
You must always be vigilant, people have positive and negative sides, and they can hurt you at any time, even the people you love the most.
The wives of those wife murder cases have always understood their husbands from the kindest point of view, but what is the result?
You may also ask, what is human nature?
Just 3.
1. Human nature is selfish:
You don't understand, why do men still quibble and dump the blame when they make mistakes?
Because your husband is not a saint, he can "save my body three times a day", and "I am happy when I hear it".
If he can betray you, it means that he is more important to him.
Such a person, he must not allow others to pour dirty water on him, and he must be "both responsible and standing".
Moreover, if he can stare at you with straight eyebrows, it means that in your relationship, he has a "dominant mentality", that is, he doesn't take you very seriously, and he just scolds you like this, and you are helpless against him, so he is so arrogant.
2. Human nature is easy and hard-working
Some wives said that I never had a showdown with my husband because I was afraid that once I tore my face, the relationship would break down.
I said, you remember, for a man, whether the relationship breaks down or not, he has an account in his heart.
If the value of being with you is greater than the value of being separated from you, he will tolerate conflict.
If you just have a showdown and he leaves in seconds, it means that you are worthless. It's a matter of minutes before he leaves you.
So the breakdown of the relationship, it's just that you are controlled by your "maternal logic".
You look at your son, in kindergarten, today he quarrels with children, but tomorrow he can hook up his shoulders, in a man's world, conflict is a small matter, interests are a big thing.
Because for a man, cost performance is the most important, and he always wants to get the maximum benefit with the minimum cost.
Many wives don't understand this, so negotiations with men are just about feelings and emotions, and men naturally avoid it.
But if you will calculate his interests with the man, he will listen immediately.
3. Human nature is strong and needs to be managed
A wife told me that when my husband came home and saw the child lose his temper, instead of helping me, he scolded me.
I said, are you a stay-at-home wife? Did he say, "I'll raise you"?
The wife said yes.
I said, the man said that I raise you, I am good to you, but it is actually an investment.
This investment is, I support you, you support the family.
We are an employment relationship, I am the boss, you are an employee, the child is your project, if you can't manage your project well, it means that you are incompetent, you are incompetent, isn't it normal to scold you as a boss?
My wife cried and said, "He can't understand my hard work?"
I said, no.
Because only when you have made achievements and reflected your value, can he look up to you.
When you say: I can't control my son, he immediately shows his "hideous face".
The wife said that the women outside were also raised by him, why was he so good to her?
Because she is good at managing her own personality, she has made herself a "White Lotus" and a "big heroine".
And you don't understand that men are "strong animals", and only when you are strong can you show vulnerability, not the other way around.
To sum up, only when women get out of the framework of "motherhood" and come to the "world of human nature" can they truly know how to control their feelings and manage their lives, but without training, without social beatings and reflection, you can't go beyond the trap of women's own thinking.