#大女主##创业故事##金融数学##女性成长##宠物店#
This is the 3,737th real story we have told
I am Mengdan and I am the only child in my family.
Because my family especially wanted a boy, I had a special low self-esteem since I was a child, and I felt that I was inferior to others.
I tried my best to prove that I wasn't worse than the boys.
They said that girls are not suitable for being traders, I prefer to do it, and I made 1 million a year.
They said it was hard to start a business, but I only spent 12 pounds to register the company, spent 800,000 a year, and completed the financing in less than a week.
Yes, I succeeded, but the process was fraught with hardships. Once, because I couldn't cross the hurdle, I wanted to close the door and flee back to China.
Luckily, I persevered and met someone who helped me along the way. There are Hong Kong ladies, British female bosses, and most importantly, my mother has cultivated me, they are all very good women.
I will also do my best to help more women grow.
(Me after work)
I am Mengdan, and I was born in a very happy and loving family. My mom was a teacher, and my dad worked within the system. Although it is not a big wealth, it can be regarded as a well-off family.
I have an uncle and two aunts. My dad is young. The uncle got married and gave birth to a daughter. The pressure of continuing the incense at home was all given to Dad.
My mother is also the youngest in the family, and she is full of older brothers, and she is the jewel of the family.
After Mom and Dad get married, Mom is also under pressure. When I was not born, it was the incense that the old Zhang family looked forward to the most, but coincidentally, I was a girl.
(Favorite to wear skirts)
said that my mother raised me as a son and wanted a beautiful dress, but my mother didn't buy it. Finally once I bought a new dress. I opened it expectantly, and it turned out to be just a gray sweater, not the pretty dress I had imagined.
I deliberately didn't do my homework well, and my mother saw that I didn't write my homework book seriously, so she kicked it up. I was so frightened that I didn't move or cry. Immediately after, my mom picked up the homework book that I hadn't written yet and tore it up.
When my mom finished tearing, I started tearing, my mom kicked me, I didn't cry. When she tore up her workbook, I was angry. But I couldn't tear it, so I could only cry while tearing, crying from crying in a small voice to crying with a roar, and I tore 5 of them. At that moment, I guess my mother was mad.
(When you grow up, buy yourself a dress)
I can't remember how I stopped crying that day. But I knew I had to be good enough. Like my mom said, if I'm strong enough, I'll have friends. As long as I am good enough to have better grades than my cousins and cousins, my mother will have confidence in front of my grandparents.
When I was in junior high school, I was just as shy at first as I was in elementary school, and I didn't have many friends.
At the autumn sports meeting, I took the initiative to help the students organize and plan, and helped the teachers run before and after. I have always felt that it is my goal to make others like and satisfy others.
I applied for the college entrance examination, because my father's major was civil engineering, and he was studying MBA at Shanghai Jiaotong University at that time. He especially hoped that I would also study civil engineering or water conservancy, and it would be better to go to Tsinghua University.
Although I am not bad at math, physics is very average. I most want to go to Beijing Film Academy to study directing. My mom said, "You're crazy, we don't have that much money for you to burn!"
(Fudan graduation photo)
Thanks to my mother's strict education, I was admitted to the Department of Mathematics of Fudan with 130+ in mathematics in the college entrance examination. The teacher who taught me to learn pipa back then would never have thought that his protégé was studying mathematics in college.
When I went to Fudan, I realized that there is really a difference between people. I scratched my head and couldn't think of a question all night, but the classmates just looked at it and said, "Isn't this obvious!", as if to say 1+1=2, there is nothing to explain.
When I graduated, I planned to do finance and become a trader. Trading to buy or sell, tap the keyboard, draw a K-line, and point to the market, every minute and second is tens of thousands. I think it's pretty cool.
When I submitted my resume in Shanghai and Hong Kong, many companies told me that I don't want women.
After several resumes and interviews, I finally found a job in Hong Kong. My parents lived in Shanghai at the time, and it was only two hours to fly to Hong Kong.
(Office of Nomura Securities Co., Ltd., Hong Kong)
When I first started working, I was still shy like a student. I think that in the workplace and in school, as long as you listen to your boss and do things according to the standards, you can be appreciated by the leader.
The first boss I met was a woman in her 40s who was not married. Because I used to study mathematics, I didn't understand a lot of financial things. I once went to my boss, pointed to an economic indicator on the data, and asked, "Boss, what does this mean? I don't quite understand." ”
女老板随即抬头，眼里充满惊讶，瞪着我喊：“Why are you asking me this stupid question?（你怎么问这么愚蠢的问题？）”
At that time, the whole hall was full of people, and the boss's voice could be heard at least in the first three rows.
This is the second time in my life that I have been scared. Tears swirled in his eyes, and they were about to fall at any time, until he walked to a place where no one was around, and he dared to secretly wipe his tears.
This shame did not make me fall into self-doubt, but turned into motivation. Because I was in my internship at the time, I was only in my second year. Taking advantage of this time, I applied for a postgraduate degree in mathematics and finance at Imperial College London, and successfully got the notice.
The reason for choosing the UK for postgraduate studies is actually very simple, the duration here is one year, which is exactly what I need.
(Imperial College graduation photo)
I was extremely uncomfortable with the long days in the summer and the short days in the winter, and the food was so unpalatable. I can only comfort myself, this year's time is right to exercise, but then I slowly like it.
Women are very encouraged to be traders in London, and the proportion of women will be increased.
They found that even if the ratio of men to women in junior traders was 1:1, after the senior level, the gender ratio would be unbalanced. Many women will gradually fade out of the workforce as they get older, so when it comes to recruiting junior traders, the proportion of women is as high as 70%.
London is actually quite beautiful, with hundreds of years of old buildings, and when you take a picture, it is a painting.
It's also very free and tolerant, no one will judge others casually, everyone has their own look, the mayor of London is gay, he will participate in all kinds of parades, no one finds it strange.
When I graduated with a master's degree, I didn't want to go back to Hong Kong to work. At that time, I also talked to a boyfriend, and in order to continue to be together, we both turned down the jobs we had already gotten and looked for jobs in London again.
(Me Now)
After five hurdles and six generals, I entered the last round of interviews at an investment bank in London. Being the only Asian was stressful.
During the interview, I was open and told them in English that I was not fluent in: "My mother has wanted a boy very much since I was a child, and she raised me as a boy. When looking for a job in Hong Kong, many companies don't hire female traders. I showed the interviewer the account number I had done and said, "I really like this job and want a chance to prove that I can do it!"
After listening to my story, the interviewer was very moved. He said he had two daughters but never felt that gender was an issue. Maybe it's because of empathy, I ended up getting this job.
After work, I didn't dare to relax for a moment. After all, I am a newbie, although I have internship experience, there are many things that are not in the book, and everything has to be learned and explored in practice.
(Hang out with colleagues after joining HSBC UK)
Whether it's in Hong Kong or London, when you enter the workplace, there will be no more class teachers to maintain order, coax you to manage you, and there will be no standard answers. It's not that you work hard, but to be result-oriented, wrong is wrong, if you don't do a good job, you are likely to be eliminated.
When I was stressed, I often had nightmares at night, dreaming of operating mistakes, my boss scolding me, and dreaming that I couldn't do anything......
The house leak happened to rain overnight, and I fell out of love. Maybe it's the first time I've loved someone so hard, or maybe I've fallen out of love when I'm particularly difficult, and all the unworthiness in the past comes to my face.
I don't deserve to wear a dress, I don't deserve to play such an expensive piano, I don't deserve to fall in love, I don't deserve to be a trader......
I want to go home, I want to go back to China, and I don't want to come to the UK again.
I begged my mother to come to England to accompany me. My mother said: "If you fall out of love, you will be sad, carry it and pass, don't be too squeamish." ”
Until Christmas, I took a leave of absence and returned home. Mom and Dad just realized how bad my state was, and I had reached a state of depression. After the leave, my mother accompanied me to the UK.
(Christmas Party)
Luckily, the company comes with free psychology courses with professional psychotherapists. I opted for cognitive behavioural therapy and was matched with an old lady from Hong Kong who had been in the UK for many years, who was not only a psychotherapist but also had her own business.
The old lady told me that on one side of the world is everything that happens, and on the other side is the emotions you perceive, and in the middle is how to think about it. Different perceptions of the same thing depend entirely on how you think about it. In the first thought, the world is very different.
My grandmother not only took me through the fog of emotion, but also helped me a lot in the workplace.
One time I was in a rotation, and I met a very tall, strong male boss, and when he talked to me, I felt very oppressed. My grandmother taught me to cross my hands over my chest and express my self-confidence with body language. To this day, I use this method when I am challenged.
That year, I really felt like I had grown up. I no longer take other people's eyes as the driving force, I only please myself, live for myself, and live seriously.
(Me and my dog)
A year later, when my parents came to see me again, they said, "You've changed, you're so much more optimistic!"
During my second Christmas holiday in the UK, I went to a barbecue with my friends. During the small talk, I said: "The pet industry in the UK is too backward compared to China, and I can't find a pet store that I am particularly satisfied with if I want to give my dog a bath." I want to start a business and specialize in pet dogs. I'm going to let my dog enjoy domestic services in London. ”
My friends all said I was crazy, but only a girl who opened a bubble tea shop said, "If you have this idea, you promise me one thing, you go back and register a company first."
There is never a perfect preparation, and the problems are all highlighted in the process. No matter what you do, don't preset too many questions, don't hesitate, take a bold step, and you're half the battle.
Registering a company in the UK is cheap and only costs 12 pounds. On the day I went back, on December 14, 2020, I registered my company.
(My physical store)
Three months later, I officially resigned and looked at the number of bank cards - more than 1 million. I think that's enough, it's a big deal I'll work again!
A year has passed, spending money every day, and it has not come in. In the summer, I'm planning to open a brick-and-mortar store. The store needed at least 700,000 yuan to open, but less than 200,000 yuan was left on the bank card.
I didn't want to ask my parents for money, so I had to find a way to raise money, thinking that it shouldn't be difficult to find a partner among my friends. But I ran into walls everywhere, and I felt like a failure, except for my parents, no one believed in me, recognized me, and understood me, and that sense of unworthiness ran out again.
I felt that I must not be good enough, so I planned to give up and prepare to return to China.
At this time, the "timely rain" appeared. A big boss said to me, "Starting a business is like a roller coaster, there are good times and bad times." When it's hardest, don't make impulsive decisions, it will definitely get better after three days. ”
I locked myself at home, tried to think of the business model, over and over again, and a week later, I went to the investor with the latest PPT, and in less than a week I found a new partner, and the money problem was solved.
(I sell goods in the store)
But after passing one hurdle, there is still the next hurdle waiting.
After the brick-and-mortar store opened, I washed the dogs in the store every day, seven days a week. Some dogs will carry poop, and there is dog poop between the dog's nails after washing. I often eat a sandwich just after bathing my dog, and I don't have time to eat a good meal.
When I get home in the evening, I have to glue the dog hair off my clothes, and when I lie in bed after taking a shower, I still have dog hair in my mouth.
After about three months, I started to lose weight, get acne on my face, and get sick. At its worst, I had a cough and fever that I couldn't get out of bed.
I began to wonder about my choice, is this the life I want to live? no weekends, no time to see friends, let alone vacations.
At this time, my mother came to London, and when she saw that I was working so hard, she was a little angry, and quarreled with me because of a trivial matter, and hit me with a pillow, saying: "Your father and I are old, and now that you have grown up, you are starting to go crazy, and you are no longer a good trader, and you are serving a few dogs all day long!"
(hand scratched by a dog)
I was very uncomfortable, but I didn't dare to cry, so I lay on the bed and bit the pillow to keep the tears from falling. I knew Mom was right. But I can't help it, I still have to be responsible for my partner, the stores are opened, and I signed a 10-year lease.
Talking to a friend who is also starting a business, he said: "Your parents have never started a business, they have not experienced this process, the only thing you can do is to become stronger as soon as possible and prove it to them." Because they haven't walked this road, they don't know that this road can work, and when you let them see that this road can work, they will believe you!"
I had no way out, I had to work hard. Luck often comes on the way to hard work.
A year after the store opened, one day, a British lady in her 50s, wearing sunglasses and carrying a Hermès on her back, came to me and gave me a business card. She said, "If one day, you need help, feel free to come to me, all my restaurants are free for you!" she said.
Oh my God, where did this come from, I was amazed and delighted.
(Best Pet Shop in London)
It turned out that this woman was a leader in the local hotel industry, and she saw a post I had posted on the Internet: "I am quitting my job now and am doing a very small business, I hope you will support my pet shop!"
And she specializes in funding some women to start their own businesses, hoping to help me!
I have been living in London for 8 years now, and the brand I have created is recognised by many clients. I don't stay in the store every day, my staff are very dog-loving and responsible, and we are like a big family.
But my mother started chattering again, saying that I didn't do my job, didn't look at the store every day, and had to spend money to hire people.
Actually, I'm more of a decision-maker now. For example, a few weeks ago, I bought a small company, and it could bring millions or tens of millions of dollars.
Of course, starting a business in London has had some bad times, and my former friends took me to court. I wondered, I have always been very generous to my friends, how could someone take me to court?
(Christmas Party)
It is now understood that there are three kinds of people in the world: givers, takers, and matchers. In any organizational structure, at the bottom and at the top, there are givers, and the difference between them is that they will screen and give their time and energy to those who deserve it. I just didn't do a good job of screening.
Still, I'll keep giving because I can afford it. Being able to give is also a sign of the strong.
Compared with making money, in the process of starting a business, in fact, my growth is the biggest gain.
For a long time, I was not confident, always worried that I was a girl, embarrassed by my mother, and had no chance to be a trader. I wish I was a boy. I tried more at the beginning to vent my anger and prove that I was no worse than the boys.
(Attending the Super Bowl party in the United States in '23)
Now, I don't think so. I learned to love myself, to accept myself, to allow everything to happen, to allow myself to have bad emotions.
I also caught up with the good times, and the self-media is very developed, which can be linked to many opportunities. You want to learn anything at a low cost, as long as it's never too late to start.
This era is also an era of the rise of female power. Some of the people who helped me the most when I was growing up were all women.
The counselor who pulled me out of a desperate situation, my grandmother, and my girlfriends who have always recognized me, accompanied me and encouraged me, including my mother.
I am especially grateful to my mother for being strict with me since I was a child. I also hope that I can be like the female boss in the hotel industry to give some support to the current generation of women!
(Search for "London Happy Puppy Maddie" to follow the protagonist)
[Dictation: Mengdan]
[Edit: Meet]
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(*This article is based on the oral statements of the parties, and the authenticity is the responsibility of the oral narrator.) Friendly reminder from this account: Please identify the relevant risks by yourself, and do not blindly follow the trend to make impulsive decisions. ）