Twenty years later, I knew that it was different, and the parents of a son and a daughter were silent
"It's the same when you have children, it's all the same for your parents. I believe many parents have heard and said this sentence. In the era of family planning, in response to the call of the state, many families chose to have only one child, regardless of male or female. Nowadays, the two-child policy has been fully liberalized, and many families have plans to have a second child, and they still adhere to the principle of "having children and daughters are the same".
But is it really the same? Parents who have given birth to a son and a daughter have the most say. In 20 years, they may have a different answer.
First, the economic pressure is different
One of the biggest differences between having a boy and having a girl is the financial pressure. In traditional Chinese beliefs, boys are the "roots" of the family, responsible for passing on the family lineage and inheriting the family business. As a result, parents tend to have higher expectations and more commitment to their boys. From school to employment, from marriage to having children, every link requires a lot of money and energy. Especially in some economically backward areas, hard conditions such as bride price, house, and car discourage many families.
In contrast, girls have a more relaxed place in their parents' minds. They do not need to bear the burden of passing on the family lineage, nor do they need to face the pressure of high bride price. Of course, this does not mean that girls do not need to be committed, only that the proportion of them will be less than that of boys.
For example, there is a couple in our community who have a son and a daughter. After they provided for their son to finish college, they also spent hundreds of thousands of yuan to help him buy a wedding house. Although her daughter also went to university, she only married locally after graduation, and the bride price was not much. Talking about this topic, both of them bluntly said that "raising children is more expensive".
Second, the responsibility of care is different
In addition to financial pressures, caregiving responsibilities are also a big difference. When parents grow old and need to care for their children, boys and girls have different responsibilities.
Traditionally, boys are the breadwinners of the family and have the obligation to take care of their parents. As a result, boys often take on more caregiving responsibilities when their parents are old and infirm. This includes not only daily care, but also financial support. Especially in some rural areas, sons are also responsible for seeing off their parents and handling funerals.
Girls also have parental responsibilities, but they are relatively lighter. In particular, daughters who marry far away often do not make it home in time when their parents are sick or die. Of course, this is not to say that girls can completely shirk responsibility, only that the responsibility will be lighter than that of boys.
Third, social expectations are different
In addition to financial pressures and caregiving responsibilities, societal expectations are also a big difference. In Chinese society, boys and girls have different social roles and expectations.
Boys are often expected to be the breadwinners of their families, taking on the responsibility of providing for their families and taking care of them. This expectation comes not only from the family, but also from society. Boys have to take on more social responsibilities and contribute to society.
In contrast, the social expectations of girls are more relaxed. Although girls also contribute to society, society expects less from them. Girls are more likely to be good wives and mothers, taking care of their families and children.
Fourth, the emotional connection is different
In addition to the above points, the emotional connection between boys and girls and their parents is also different.
Boys and girls grow up with different relationships with their parents. Boys tend to be more independent and have their own ideas and pursuits. Their relationship with their parents may be more distant, requiring more communication and understanding.
In contrast, girls are more dependent on their parents and may have a closer relationship with them. As girls grow up, they may pay more attention to their parents' feelings and needs, and be more willing to contribute to their parents.
Of course, this is not to say that the relationship between boys and girls and their parents is necessarily the same, just that there may be some differences in relative terms.
5. Summary
Are children really the same? Boys and girls have different responsibilities and expectations in terms of economic pressures, caregiving responsibilities, social expectations and emotional connections. This does not mean that boys and girls do not have something in common, just that they may face different challenges and opportunities as they grow up.
As parents, we should respect our children's gender and individuality and give them equal opportunities and care. Whether it is a boy or a girl, they are the continuation of our lives and our most precious treasure. We should accompany them to grow with love and understanding, so that they can become responsible and responsible people.