During the Ming Dynasty, gift-giving was a common social etiquette, reflecting the affection between people. However, gift-giving is not a simple matter, and there is profound knowledge and practice involved. In Chun'an County, three officials tried to give gifts to Hairui County, but the results were very different. Ma Ningyuan, the former governor of Hangzhou, sent two boxes of old ginseng, which were reluctantly accepted by Hu Zongxian; the head of the Chun'an County Wang Prison sent a large piece of pork, which was not only turned away, but also angered Hai Jui; only the gift from Chun'an Tian County Cheng was able to be sent and won Hai Jui's appreciation. Why is there such a huge difference, what is the right way to give gifts, and what is the historical and cultural connotation behind this? Let's find out.
The choice of gifts
Gift-giving is an indispensable part of traditional Chinese culture. Choosing the right gift is a prerequisite for successful gift-giving. In the hierarchical era of the Ming Dynasty, officials should be more careful in choosing gifts.
In order to honor Hairui County, the head of the Chun'an County Wang Prison specially bought a large piece of pork as a gift. But who would have thought that this "generous gift" would anger Hai Rui. It turned out that Hai Rui's family was Hui and believed in Islam, and he did not eat pork. Wang not only did not investigate Hai Rui's preferences and customs in advance, but also carelessly chose a forbidden thing, which was undoubtedly a big taboo at the time.
In contrast, Chun'an Tian County Cheng showed extraordinary meticulousness and thoughtfulness. He prepared a fish, a plate of beef, and a pot of rice wine for Hai Jui, which not only did not violate the precepts of Islam, but also appropriately took care of Hai Jui's taste. It can be seen that the giver must first understand the preferences and customs of the recipient before choosing the appropriate gift and avoid causing cultural conflicts and misunderstandings.
In addition to considering the recipient's preferences, the amount of the gift is also a key point that needs to be controlled. The two boxes of old ginseng that Ma Ningyuan gave to Hu Zongxian, although they were reluctantly accepted, did not really win Hu Zongxian's favor. This gift is obviously a bit "light". On the contrary, the large piece of pork at the head of the king cell is a little "heavier", which makes people feel a little out of place.
Only Tian Xiancheng's gift, a fish, a plate of beef and a pot of rice wine, the amount is just right, not light or heavy, just to express the heart without appearing excessive. It can be seen that the proportionality of gift-giving is very particular, and a slight carelessness may backfire.
Finally, a good gift should reflect the giver's heart, not just because it is expensive. Although Ma Ningyuan's two boxes of old ginseng were valuable, they obviously lacked sincerity, while Tian Xiancheng's seemingly simple gift was full of his respect and friendship for Hai Rui. The essence of gift-giving is to convey the heart, and no matter how expensive the gift is, if it lacks sincerity, it is difficult to touch the heart of the recipient.
Choosing the right gift is the foundation of a successful gift. Whether it is considering the preferences and customs of the recipient, controlling the weight of the gift, or showing sincere intentions, the giver needs to be highly cautious. Only by doing this can we avoid cultural clashes and misunderstandings and win the hearts and minds of the recipients.
Ways to give gifts
In the Ming Dynasty, an era that pays attention to the number of etiquette, the way of giving gifts is also a science. Whether it's attitude, rhetoric, or the details of delivering a gift, you need to be extra careful to avoid faux pass and offense.
Attitude is naturally the most important thing for successful gift-giving. The twisted, flattering and shameful expression of the head of the Wang cell not only disgusted people, but also exposed his sinister intentions. In contrast, Tian Xiancheng's generous and natural demeanor gave people a sense of legitimacy and reasonableness, and naturally won Hai Rui's favor.
It can be seen that when giving gifts, you should not be pretentious and welcome, and you should maintain a calm and natural attitude, so that people can feel your sincerity and respect. Otherwise, it will not only be difficult to impress the other party, but it will be counterproductive.
In addition to attitude, rhetoric is also related to the success or failure of gift-giving. Wang Prison's "no other meaning", "thin respect" and "filial piety" remarks all make people think that he has ulterior motives, and even harbors bad intentions. This not only exposed his ignorance, but also called into question his character.
On the contrary, Tian Xiancheng's rhetoric is extremely clever. He first deprived Hai Jui of the right to refuse, then gave reasonable reasons, and finally subtly expressed sincerity, which can be described as step-by-step and meticulously designed. From his words, we can see a person's cultivation and wisdom.
In addition to attitude and rhetoric, the details of delivering a gift are equally important. The large piece of pork at the head of the Wang cell was lying on the ground, which not only looked rude and rude, but also made people feel that he had not done his homework at all. And Tian Xiancheng respectfully handed the food box to Hai Rui, and his movements were decent and generous, which was pleasing to the eye.
It can be seen that every detail of gift-giving needs to be taken with extra care. A small oversight can undo the whole process. Only like Tian Xiancheng, from attitude to rhetoric, from actions to details, can you truly give gifts to the recipient.
The way of giving gifts contains rich cultural connotations, reflecting a person's cultivation and wisdom. Mastering this knowledge can not only win the favor of others, but also establish a good image of oneself. On the other hand, if you are rude and ignorant like the head of the king's cell, it will not only be difficult to give gifts, but will also leave an extremely negative impression on people.
Therefore, mastering the proper way to give gifts is a must-have social skill, both in ancient and modern times. Only by having a natural attitude, proper rhetoric, and meticulous attention to detail can you truly send gifts to each other and win respect and friendship.
Historical and cultural origins
The custom of gift-giving actually has a long history and contains rich historical and cultural connotations. To truly understand the practice of gift-giving, we need to trace its cultural origins.
In the era of strict hierarchy in the Ming Dynasty, the concept of social hierarchy was deeply rooted. Whether it is between officials or between officials and ordinary people, there is a huge disparity in status, and people's words and deeds need to follow strict etiquette. Gift-giving is no exception, and it has become a way to reflect status.
For example, the two boxes of old ginseng that Ma Ningyuan gave to Hu Zongxian, although they were reluctantly accepted in the end, the hierarchical concept reflected in them is obvious. As the former prefect, Ma Ningyuan's status is naturally inferior to that of the current prefect Hu Zongxian. Therefore, his gift is not only a little "lighter", but also reveals a taste of filial piety to superiors.
Looking at the large piece of pork that Wang Cell gave to Hai Rui, it not only violated the canons of Hai Jui's family, but also exposed Wang Cell's ignorance of Hai Jui's identity and status. As a petty official, he acted so recklessly, which shows his neglect of the concept of hierarchy.
Only Tian Xiancheng reflects a high degree of respect for Hai Rui's identity in the choice of gifts and gift methods. A fish, a plate of beef, and a pot of rice wine are not only in line with the customs of the Hai Rui family, but also the portion is just right, and the rhetoric is even more sleek and decent, and everywhere is careful. It can be seen that Tian Xiancheng has a good understanding of rank and knows how to properly express his respect.
In addition to the concept of hierarchy, behind the gift also contains the sophistication of the officials. In the officialdom of the time, personal interaction was an unwritten rule, and gift-giving became an important means of maintaining interpersonal networks.
For example, the reason why Ma Ningyuan gave gifts to Hu Zongxian is probably to leave a good impression, and he may need Hu Zongxian's care in the future. Although Wang Prison Boss has a humble status, he also wants to take the opportunity to honor Hai Jui in order to win Hai Jui's appreciation. Only Tian Xiancheng not only knows how to give gifts appropriately, but also understands that the real intention of giving gifts is to bring him closer to Hai Rui.
It can be seen that in the humane society of Ming Dynasty officialdom, gift-giving is not only a simple etiquette, but also an important means to maintain interpersonal networks and seek benefits. Mastering the way of gift-giving is equivalent to mastering the knack of surviving in officialdom.
Finally, the formation of the way of gift-giving is also deeply influenced by the Confucian etiquette tradition. Since ancient times, China has been a society that pays attention to etiquette, and Confucian etiquette plays an important role in it.
For example, when Tian Xiancheng gave gifts, his attitude was natural and generous, and his words were decent and tactful, all of which reflected his great importance to etiquette. Even in the details of delivering gifts, he was extremely cautious, for fear of any rudeness. It can be seen that Confucian etiquette has been deeply internalized into his code of conduct.
In contrast, the twisted and blunt rhetoric of the head of the Wang cell is tantamount to a complete disregard for Confucian etiquette. Not only did he fail to do his homework, but he also exposed his ignorance and rudeness everywhere, which can be said to be contrary to Confucian ideals.
It can be seen how far-reaching the influence of Confucian etiquette thought on the society of the Ming Dynasty was. It not only regulates people's code of conduct, but also internalizes people's way of thinking and living habits. If you grasp the essence of this traditional culture, you will naturally be able to grasp the essence of gift-giving.
Gift-giving was not achieved overnight, it was a combination of hierarchy, sophistication, and a long tradition of Confucian etiquette in Ming society. Only by truly understanding the cultural connotation can we grasp the essence of gift-giving and win the respect and goodwill of others.
The intrinsic meaning of gift-giving
In the humane society of the Ming Dynasty, gift-giving was far more than a simple etiquette, it contained a deeper inner meaning. Only by truly understanding the cultural connotation can we grasp the essence of gift-giving.
First of all, gift-giving is an important means of building a network of interpersonal relationships. In the officialdom at that time, personal connections determined a person's career prospects. As a result, it has become an unwritten rule for officials to win over people and make favorable connections through gifts.
For example, the reason why Ma Ningyuan gave gifts to Hu Zongxian is probably to leave a good impression, and he may need Hu Zongxian's care in the future. Although Tian Xiancheng has a humble status, he also knows how to close the relationship with Hai Rui through gifts, laying the foundation for future development.
It can be seen that gift-giving is not only a simple etiquette, but also an important means for officials to seek benefits and make contacts in the officialdom. Mastering the way of gift-giving is equivalent to mastering the knack of surviving in officialdom.
Secondly, gift-giving is also a way to reflect social status. In the era of strict hierarchy in the Ming Dynasty, people's words and deeds needed to follow strict etiquette, and gift-giving was no exception.
For example, Ma Ningyuan's two boxes of old ginseng, although they were reluctantly accepted in the end, the hierarchical concept reflected in them is obvious. As the former prefect, Ma Ningyuan's status is naturally not as good as that of the current prefect Hu Zongxian, so his gift is not only a little "lighter", but also reveals a taste of filial piety to superiors.
Looking at Tian Xiancheng again, in the choice of gifts and gift methods, they all reflect a high degree of respect for Hai Rui's identity. A fish, a plate of beef, and a pot of rice wine are not only in line with the customs of the Hai Rui family, but also the portion is just right, and the rhetoric is even more sleek and decent, and everywhere is careful. It can be seen that Tian Xiancheng has a good understanding of rank and knows how to properly express his respect.
It can be seen that in the Ming Dynasty, a society that pays attention to status and hierarchy, gift-giving is not only a kind of etiquette, but also a way to reflect one's own status and express respect. Mastering the way of gift-giving is equivalent to mastering the wisdom of life.
Finally, gift-giving also contains the meaning of passing on friendly blessings. Whether it is Ma Ningyuan, Wang Gaotou or Tian Xiancheng, their original intention of giving gifts is out of kindness, hoping to express their friendship and blessings in this way.
It's just that Ma Ningyuan and Wang Cellhead failed to give the gift in the end due to various reasons. In contrast, Tian Xiancheng not only sent the gift to Hai Rui, but also showed his sincerity in the process of giving the gift.
Therefore, Hai Rui not only accepted Tian Xiancheng's gift, but also talked to him after receiving the gift, which shows that Tian Xiancheng's friendship has been spread. From this point of view, gift-giving is not only a simple etiquette, but also carries the beautiful meaning of mutual blessing and friendship between people.
In the humane society of the Ming Dynasty, gift-giving contained a wealth of intrinsic meaning. It is not only an important means to establish interpersonal networks, but also a way to reflect social status and convey friendly blessings.
Only by truly comprehending the cultural connotation and grasping the essence of gift-giving can we be comfortable and handy in the complex society of the Ming Dynasty. On the contrary, if you are rude and ignorant like Wang Cell, it will not only be difficult to give gifts, but also leave an extremely negative impression, and it is destined to be difficult to gain a foothold in officialdom.
Therefore, whether in ancient or modern times, mastering the art of gift-giving is a necessary social skill. Only by being appropriate and generous can you truly send gifts to each other and win respect and friendship.