In my old age, I am like a train embarking on a journey, and an unprecedented impetus pushes me forward with a bang.
Excerpt from "Autumn Garden"
It's hard to imagine that this is the work of an old man who only started writing in his sixties.
Yang Benfen had a literary dream since he was a child, but he had to give up this path due to the family situation at that time.
Later, with the support of his daughter, the long-lost fountain pen danced on the paper again, and "Autumn Garden" was born. More than 200 pages, it is also a woman's life.
Once this book was published, it entered the list of high-scoring books on Douban with a score of 8.9. People can't help but wonder about the unusual story of this ordinary old man.
By 2020, he and her husband had gone through sixty years.
I thought it was 60 years of joining hands in the endless river of life, but in fact, it was only 60 years of "sex and no love".
In "My Fragrance", Yang Benfen tells the marriage story of an ordinary woman Huicai in the sixties and seventies of the twentieth century.
In fact, he is telling his own story, telling the story of a story in which most women are in an indifferent marriage, not seen, without passion.
In 1940, a little girl was born in Xiangyin, Hunan, and the girl loved to read, but her parents could not afford to go to school.
She had to look enviously at other people's children with their schoolbags on their backs, and it wasn't until he was eleven years old that he stepped through the school gates.
Later, Yang Benfen was admitted to Yueyang Industrial School with excellent grades when he was seventeen years old. The young girl was full of beautiful yearning for the future, thinking that she could engage in her favorite career, but in the last year, the school was closed, and he had to put down his favorite books.
Later, she went to Jiangxi Tonggu to continue her life, but he had to let go of his love, found a job in the construction team, and was finally admitted to the Communist Labor University while working and studying. However, because of his father, he had to return to the countryside.
Here, he met a man, Dr. Lui (aka her husband, Dr. Zhang).
"As long as you marry me, I can continue to let you study. The young Dr. Lu said to Yang Benfen.
This sentence pierced Yang Benfen's heart directly, and Dr. Lu has a good doctor with a reputation around him, and his appearance is not handsome and chic, but he is also upright.
So, there was no promise, no gift money, and the two became husband and wife.
There is no so-called "marriage before love", and there is no so-called long-planned encounter, everything, it's just that Lu needs a wife, and Yang is the most suitable person for him after weighing the pros and cons at that time.
"If there really is a next life, I mean, what if, would you still want to be with me?"
Lu shook his head and refused.
After a while, she still didn't give up and asked: "Shaking your head doesn't count, you tell me personally." ”
"I don't want to. "Three words are sonorous and powerful.
After a long silence, Yang Benfen walked back to the bedroom, and in the dark room, the light of the flat plate brushed her face white.
In fact, she knows in her heart that the union of the two is loveless. When did it start, maybe it started from the beginning.
From the very beginning, he lied to her to marry him so that he could continue his studies, but every time he talked about it, he avoided it.
Since he didn't even bother to pick up the oil bottle at home, the house was on fire, and he was still sleeping in bed.
In the end, even his own daughter can see that there is no affection between the parents, and the father has never taken care of the mother.
Even if his mother wanted to move his rheumatism-aching leg to his father's inside, his father only had a cold look and ordered him to take it back.
Speaking of Dr. Lui, perhaps the tragic teenage experience made it difficult for him to love others.
He was originally the child of an old official's family, but he was sent to a family where he could not have children and was a son. After the land reform, the adoptive parents were labeled as landlords, and they both committed suicide under social pressure.
Due to the death of his adoptive parents, he wanted to return to his biological parents, but no one accepted it. This experience may have had an impact on his personality and emotional expression.
Is it really influenced by the original family, love is a gift from God to human beings, even if you don't like to express it by nature, your subconscious actions will mean everything, saying that you are indifferent, but in fact you don't love.
Now Yang Benfen has looked down on this relationship, although she is already old, she has regained her original intention, shouted with words, and shined with literature.
Summary:
Yang Benfen's marriage is the norm of many Chinese-style marriages, an indifferent and selfish husband, and a wife who always tries her best to save for cowardice.
Out of fear of the world, the two will not go to divorce, but just maintain the status quo of chicken feathers in silence, and there is no even quarrel.
Yang Benfen realized her dream at the age of 60, and more women should complete their own redemption.