Fifty and knowing the destiny of heaven, this quote comes from the "Analects".
Confucius said: "Fifty knows the destiny of heaven." "Now, more than half of my life, looking back on the past, the years are in a hurry, like a white horse. Over the past 50 years, I have accumulated countless wisdom and experience, which are indispensable treasures on the road of life.
There is an ancient poem: "If life is only as first seen, what is the autumn wind and sad fan." However, how can life be only as it was first seen? After going through ups and downs, we can understand the true meaning of life more deeply.
Fifty-year-old people have experienced the vicissitudes of half a life, and they have also gained half a lifetime of wisdom. These wisdoms, as the ancients said, "read thousands of books, travel thousands of miles" to gain insight, is the most valuable wealth in the journey of life.
Think about the famous people in history, such as Jiang Ziya, Zhuge Liang, etc., the reason why they can become a generation of grandmasters and wise men is that they have gone through countless trials and challenges, and finally accumulated rich wisdom and experience?
Their stories tell us that only after the baptism of time can we truly understand the meaning of life.
At this important stage of life, we should pay more attention to the growth and education of our children. If you want to enjoy happiness in your old age, you have to "force" your children to do these "five things" well.
This is not only for their good, but also for the rest of our lives. Now, let's explore these five important things!
First things first: learn to live independently
When children reach the age of 18, they should gradually learn to live independently, which is the only way to grow.
As parents, although we are reluctant, we need to be ruthless and let them deal with the trivial things in life. Daily household chores such as laundry, cooking, and sprinkling are all basic life skills they need to master.
The story takes place in the Spring and Autumn Period, when the State of Lu suffered a great famine one year, and the State of Qi, as a friendly country, decided to help the State of Lu tide over the difficulties. The monarch of Qi did not directly give a large amount of grain to the Lu state, but sent a minister named Guan Zhong to instruct the Lu people on how to fish and breed.
After Guan Zhong arrived in Lu, he did not bring a large number of ready-made fish, but taught them how to choose the right fishing ground, how to weave fishing nets, and when to cast nets to catch fish. He also taught the people of Lu how to use lakes and rivers for aquaculture, as well as related breeding techniques and management methods.
After a period of time, relying on the fishing and breeding techniques they learned, the Lu people not only successfully survived the famine, but also developed their own fisheries, achieved self-sufficiency, and solved the problem of food shortage for a long time.
The ancients said: "It is better to teach a man to fish than to teach him to fish." This is a profound statement, and it is far more important to teach children the skills to live independently than to solve problems directly for them.
Imagine if we just provided them with "fish", i.e., ready-made solutions, how would they cope when they faced problems alone?
"Tao Te Ching" has a cloud: "The road is wasted, there is benevolence and righteousness." "We need to follow this path as our children grow up.
Excessive protection and spoiling will only make them lose the ability to live independently. And learning to let go, let them explore and grow in practice, is the real love.
When we grow old, they can also hold up a piece of the sky with their own hands and will not become a burden to us.
The Tang Dynasty poet Wang Zhihuan once wrote a magnificent poem "The sun is at the end of the mountain, and the Yellow River flows into the sea". The growth process of children, like the surging Yellow River, will eventually merge into the sea of independent life.
What we as parents need to do is to guide them in the right direction and let them move forward on the road to independent living.
The second thing: establish a correct view of money.
Money, the double-edged sword, can be both a ladder to help people climb and a trap to tempt people to fall.
It is our responsibility to teach our children to look at money in a correct way and understand its essence: money is something outside the body, it is neither the beginning nor the end of life.
There is a cloud in the Analects: "Wealth and nobility are what people want, and if they do not get it by their way, they will not be able to do anything." This sentence reminds us that it is normal for people to pursue wealth and status, but if they are obtained through improper means, it is better not to.
We want our children to know that there is nothing wrong with pursuing wealth, but the key lies in method and attitude.
There are also many descriptions of the concept of money in modern literature. For example, there is a good saying: "Money can solve problems that are not problems, but there is no money." Although this is a joke, it also reflects the limited role of money in life, and it cannot solve all problems.
We need to teach our children that money can buy material satisfaction, but not peace of mind and true happiness.
To quote another ancient poem: "I am born to be useful, and my daughter will come back when I am gone." This poem expresses the poet's free and easy attitude towards money, believing that his talent and ability are the most valuable treasures.
We also need to let our children understand that money is not the only measure of a person's success, but more important is their ability, character and pursuits.
The third thing: cultivate good relationships.
In ancient times, there was a story of "bringing harmony". Lin Xiangru was named Shangqing because of his return to Zhao, and he was above Lian Po. Lian Po was very unconvinced and threatened to humiliate Lin Xiangru in person.
After Lin Xiangru learned about it, he tried his best to avoid and tolerate it, so as not to conflict with Lian Po. Lin Xiangru's disciples thought that he was afraid of Lian Po, but Lin Xiangru explained: "The reason why the Qin State did not dare to invade our Zhao State was because of me and General Lian. I tolerate and give in to General Lian because I put the danger of the country in the front and personal enmity in the back!" After Lian Po heard this, he felt deeply guilty, so he "took the guilt of Jing and pleaded guilty", and the two finally became friends.
This story teaches us that understanding and inclusion are important cornerstones of good relationships.
Let's take another look at the Russian proverb: "A friend is another me." This underlines the importance of friends in our lives, good friends are like another self who understands us and supports us.
"There is a confidant in the sea, and the end of the world is like a neighbor. This poem expresses that no matter where you are, as long as you have a close friend, the distance between your heart and soul will become close because of this deep friendship.
Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment, although the theme is deep, is also interspersed with many interactions and relationships. For example, the deep friendship between Raskolnikov and Sonia in the novel shows us the beauty of interpersonal relationships that support each other and make progress together in difficult situations.
"The more friends there are, the easier the road to walk. This is a simple and straightforward expression of the convenience and benefits that come with good relationships.
"One fence with three piles, one hero with three gangs. "This underscores the importance of teamwork and helping each other.
In our daily lives, we need to teach them to respect, understand and tolerate others.
In this way, in their future life and work, they can build a wide range of contacts and pave the way for their own development.
At the same time, we also need to make them understand that good interpersonal relationships are not built by skills or means, but need to treat everyone with sincerity and cherish every friendship.
Fourth: keep exercising.
Listen, the body is the capital of the revolution, and this is not a joke.
Don't think that you can squander it when you're young, and without a healthy body, all your plans and dreams are just a castle in the air that could collapse at any time.
Therefore, you have to urge yourself, and you have to urge children to develop a good habit of exercising.
"The Yellow Emperor's Neijing" clearly mentions: "Righteousness is stored in the body, and evil cannot be done." That is to say, when the body is strong, the disease will naturally take a detour.
Whether it's running, swimming, or practicing yoga, you need to move to keep your body in the best shape and have enough energy to deal with life's challenges.
Think about it, which of those successful people is not energetic and healthy? Just like the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, "Health is something like gold." "It's not just a casual thing, health is really priceless!
Of course, exercise is not something that can be achieved overnight, you have to be consistent. It's not enough to fish for three days and dry nets for two days! Remember, perseverance is victory.
There is a popular saying among the people: "After a meal, walk a hundred steps, and live to ninety-nine." This means that in addition to dedicated exercise time, you can also move anytime and anywhere in your daily life to keep your body active.
Parents, you have to urge your children to exercise! Don't wait until you're old to regret it. Get started now and make health a solid foundation for you to pursue your dreams and careers.
Aerobic exercise: Walking: A simple and effective form of aerobic exercise that can improve cardiorespiratory fitness and promote metabolism. It is recommended to last more than 30 minutes each time, and the speed can be adjusted according to the individual's physical condition. Jogging: A more intense aerobic exercise than walking that helps burn fat and builds cardiorespiratory endurance. It is recommended to do this 3-5 times a week for 20-60 minutes each time. Cycling: Not only can you exercise the muscle strength of the lower limbs, but also improve your heart and lung fitness. You can choose between an outdoor ride or an indoor spinning bike. Swimming: a full-body exercise with little impact on the joints, suitable for people of all ages.
Strength training: Weightlifting: Training with barbells, dumbbells, and other equipment can build muscle strength and endurance. Push-ups and sit-ups: Effortless and easy at home, these workouts target the upper limbs, chest and core muscles.
The fifth thing: maintain a lifelong learning mindset.
The ancients said: "There is no end to learning." These four words embody the profound insights of the ancients on learning.
The times are changing, knowledge is being updated, and only by maintaining a lifelong learning mentality can we keep up with the pace of the times and not be abandoned by the trend.
"Tao Te Ching" has a cloud: "For learning day by day, for the Tao day by day." This means that on the path of study, our knowledge and insight should increase day by day, and on the path of cultivation, we should constantly reduce our own attachments and desires.
Recalling the learning path of the ancients, they read at night with candles, reflected the snow, and interpreted with practical actions what it means to "live to be old and learn to be old".
In the folk, there is such a proverb: "If the knife is not sharpened, it will rust, and if people do not learn, they will fall behind." This is a clear and concise point to the importance of learning. If we stop learning, we will be like that rusty knife, losing its edge and becoming sluggish.
There is a good saying: "Learning is the key to success." "This key will not only open the door to our wisdom, but also lead us to a better future.
In this highly competitive society, only by continuous learning can we improve our competitiveness and be invincible.
"Knowledge is power. Although this sentence is familiar, the truth in it is worth pondering. Knowledge not only enriches our brains, but also empowers us to go further and more steadily on the road of life.
When people are over 50, they must know how to think about the future of their children. By "forced" them to do the above five things well, we can not only cultivate excellent next generation, but also ensure that we can live a happy life in our old age.
Remember, educating your children is a long-distance race that requires patient and careful guidance.
May every parent be a mentor and friend on the road to their children's growth!