Before talking about dry goods, in order to make it easier to understand, I will give you an example of a real-life couple's conversation.
The girl said: I want to change my phone. Baby, can you buy it for me?
The boy said: Wait for the end of the year, I have a bonus for you at the end of the year.
The girl said, "Oh, okay."
But what I thought in my heart was: Okay, okay, start painting pies again. At the end of the year, the daylilies are cold, and if you don't buy it, you won't buy it.
For a few days, the girls didn't pay much attention to the boys. When the boy asked the girl why she was unhappy, the girl said, "No, I'm not unhappy." ”
The boy vaguely sensed that the girl was unhappy because of the mobile phone, but the girl refused to admit it.
The boy said, "Baby, at the end of the year, I also have to change my mobile phone, so we will change one by one." But now I want to save my monthly salary. If you don't want it, I can buy it for you now. ”
The girl felt that the boy saw through the reason for her careful eyes, and she was a little unhappy, so she could only refuse to admit that she thought so, and she said to the boy: "I'm not unhappy because of this matter." And I don't have to let you buy it now. If you're not happy, don't buy it. Don't act like I'm forcing you and staring at your money.
Then in order to be angry, the girl bought a new mobile phone by herself and posted it on Moments.
At this time, it was the boy's turn to be overwhelmed, so the boy said, "I said I was going to buy it for you, why do you want to buy it yourself?"
The girl said again: "My phone is broken, I can't use it at all, I have to wait for half a year, can I wait?"
So the two of them became angry.
Are you familiar with such a scene?
In this case, the girl wants a gift, but the boy is not happy, the girl feels that the boy's attitude does not meet her expectations, so she is very angry and lost, and the girl feels that the boy is either drawing a pie, or looking down on herself, or just not caring about herself.
Girls will be angry and keep saying the opposite: "I'm not angry, it's okay, I didn't force you to buy it." In fact, these retorts of the girl are sending a confirmation signal to the boy, and the girl wants to confirm whether the boy really wants to disappoint herself? After the girl is sure that the boy will not meet her requirements, the girl wants to use a cold attitude to let the boy take the initiative to coax her.
In fact, such an idea is very childish.
As adults, we need to keep the following in mind when we are in love.
Point 1 Everyone is an individual, and no one can take all your needs for granted. Even your parents will reject you, won't they? Why would you ask another parent to obey you unconditionally?
Point 2 You are the one who wants a gift right now and wants the boy to make his wish come true. You are the one who makes the demand, so shouldn't you pay attention to the way you speak and the attitude you express? If the other person does not meet your needs, you will immediately change your face, then what do you think the other person will think in the long run?
Point 3: Of course, it is not pleasant to be rejected, and it is not pleasant to be drawn by your partner. But when judging the other person's intention to reject you, should we think about what the other person's situation is like now, is he really making excuses, or is he really not meeting your expectations for the time being? Different situations have different ways to deal with them.
Point 4 If you want the relationship to continue, if you still want the guy to understand how to please you. Then you don't use this cold attitude to fight the other party. I can tell all girls that if you want a guy to understand your mind and fulfill all your little wishes, it is very good for you and you need to be trained. And you also have to cultivate with love, not with a cold attitude to provoke the other party.