(Southern People Weekly reporter Xie Xiao/photo)
In March 2024, Pang Yuliang will be 57 years old. He laughed and called himself an old naughty boy, "Time doesn't feel like me at all." I will forget everything. "This old ten, who was born in Wang Zengqi's hometown near Gaoyou, Jiangsu, was thrown out by a poor farmer and picked up again, and was trapped in the hunger of childhood and the loneliness of youth for a long time, and finally reshaped and healed himself with literature.
"Half a Father is in Pain" contributes a unique father figure to contemporary Chinese literature. Essayist Hei Tao commented on Pang Yuliang's collection of essays. The three prose collections of the "Little Mister" trilogy helped Pang Yuliang complete a staged literary dream. In 2023, when he finished writing the final work of the trilogy, Little Fool (published in January 2024), he said to me, "Writing, I will devote my life to her." Yang Jiang once said: "Being superior to others is not noble, and the real nobility should be superior to oneself in the past." Pang Yuliang thought deeply, "Do you think my writing has become more and more noble day by day in the past 40 years?"
"Little Fool" version of "Reprint of Blood"
On the evening of August 9, 2023, Pang Yuliang, who had slept on the floor of the study for a whole summer vacation, returned to the bedroom. The "Little Mister" trilogy "Little Fool" has finally come to an end. "I will always remember this day. Why? My literary ideals are at an end. ”
For this book he had wanted to write for years, none of his sleeps were complete this summer. The details of years of snow-covered experience and childhood sleeping in a yellow mud urn came flooding back, and when he thought of something, he immediately got up and went to the computer to write it down. "For me, it's the finale, and it's a work that fulfills my ideals, and I have to write slowly and critically. "The material collected for 'Little Fool' is actually three times as much as it is presented. Pang Yuliang slowly cuts, conceives, and re-understands the past.
The yellow mud urn is one of the main characters in the book, in order to write it well, Pang Yuliang spent a week searching for dry intestines, how to vividly describe the shape and volume of the yellow mud urn? At that moment, he really wished that he had ChatGPT's artificial intelligence, and he could accurately draw it through his memory. Time passed, and he didn't draw it, but finally wrote it.
"The experience of staying in the yellow mud urn is very much like a hiding place for me to see the world, so I also consciously wrote my philosophy of life for more than 50 years. In "Little Fool", the author seems to return to his childhood and look at the world with the innocent and kind eyes of a child:
The boy looked up at the sky, and there were a few clouds in the sky that had nothing to do. There are no gods. If a fairy comes to him, if the fairy blows a breath of fairy breath on the mud dog in his hand. ”
This time, Pang Yuliang "writes more freely than before" from the narrative style to the perception of life, just like he has always longed for himself to swim in the water. "Freedom is also the realm that we prose writers want to pursue the most. ”
In "Little Fool", he thought of Dalmatian from the mud dog, and then laughed at himself about the situation in life:
"The kid who was caught in the rain in the yard that year was more like a Dalmatian.
Dalmatian, Dalmatian.
Later, no matter how bad things happen, as long as the Qiang Kid thinks that he once made a Dalmatian, his mood will inexplicably improve.
From a hungry child he thinks of curled eggs, and then of people with insomnia:
"The hungry boy who sleeps in an empty mud urn, he can't sleep all the time.
He curled himself up into the shape of an egg.
Still can't sleep.
In this world, there are many eggs with insomnia. ”
"I never write in a harsh way. Because the more ruthless, the tighter the force. If you are gentle, it will be resilient. I want my text to be elastic. ”
The poet Sun Xinchen once commented on Pang Yuliang's works, "There is a kind of clear power in his works, and it is a kind of aesthetics." Isn't there a lyric that says that crying eyes can see the world more clearly? Yu Liang's works have this kind of purifying power. ”
Whether it is the violent father in "Half a Father in Pain", or the bitter and lonely childhood life in the "Little Mister" trilogy, they are gathered in Pang Yuliang's pen, as if they have been washed by time, showing another literary texture: fresh, bright and beautiful.
"After middle age, the only person we can talk to in our hearts may be our mother, and I also want to talk to my mother through this book. There is an article "Dumb Cotton Peach" in "Little Fool", the author writes about the experience of helping his mother peel stiff cotton peaches, and his deep love for his mother flows between the lines:
"'The last bag. The mother said, 'It's really the last bag.' ’
The mother then uttered a curse to herself, meaning that she would be something if not the last bag.
He could hear it clearly.
His fingers hurt, not just four, but ten. Then my whole body hurt. ”
Pang Yuliang in 2024 has been separated from his father in heaven for 30 years and his mother for 21 years. At this time, he was not only a writer of the Lu Prize, the vice chairman of the local CPPCC in Jingjiang, but also the grandfather of his grandson who was more than 1 year old. When writing "Little Fool", he remembered what his mother had said when he was young, that if he was born too late, his parents would not be able to get his "help" in the future, and he would not be able to get his "help" from his parents. At the time, he was unimpressed. After many years, Pang Yuliang, who has become famous and married, wants to argue and refute, but he has no time for the powerlessness and desolation of "the son wants to raise but does not wait".
At the end of the book, he suddenly paused, recalling the shock he felt when he first read Love's long poem "The Reprint of Blood", a 600-line poem that he copied for two days and two nights in the cold winter at the age of 16:
"Mother/I can't hold back my crying/I clutch a handful of dirt/I know, at this moment/You're in the palm of my hand/And it's gradually seeping into my veins/My spine/I can't help crying/Hiding alone in the study/Quietly/Sitting and watching the sunset, tiptoeing past the window......"
Thinking of his mother, Pang Yuliang decided to write his "Reprint of Blood" - "Report to Mother". He cried as he wrote, trying to hold back, but the tears could not stop flowing, and he hid alone in the study, calling out his mother's name in his heart:
"Mom, shout to you in the moonlight/The tiles of the old house will fall to the ground/Life will fall apart/The memory is very clear...... Because you've been in containment for nine months / I'm already a genius with insomnia......"
On the night after writing this long poem, he became an "insomniac egg" again. Pang Yuliang said, "I am also using literature to heal myself. ”
March 10, 2024, two months after the launch of the new book. Pang Yuliang, Bi Feiyu and Shi Zhanjun shared their new books at the Red House Public Library in Beijing. At the end of the day, he said to the children in the audience like "Little Mister" back then: "We must have the ability to turn the hardships of life into music." ”
After the event, he went to Ditan Park again. He wanted to see the trees that Shi Tiesheng had written into "My Altar of Earth" again, which was a way for him to worship his favorite writers, just as when he was teaching in a rural school, he would also hold Wang Zengqi's book and read it aloud to the blooming dinner flowers on the campus after school......
Silence feeds the literary life of "Little Mister".
From the age of 18 to 33, the experience of being a rural school teacher was the most golden 15 years of Pang Yuliang's life.
After graduating from Yangzhou Normal School, Pang Yuliang was assigned to a junior high school teacher in his hometown of Xinghua Shagou Town. At that time, he was thin and small, 1.62 meters tall, less than 90 pounds, and the children called him "Mr. Little". Guo Guoshan, the first class president, recalled, "I have never seen such a small teacher, he was very shy when he first came, and he blushed when he spoke. Pang Yuliang recorded the scene of his first class in "Little Mister", from panic to calmness, at first he was bluffing and harsh with the students, and then he became more and more calm, walking from the podium to the middle of the students to give lectures, which became more and more popular with the students.
The rural schools are simple and closed, but the emptiness and silence of the countryside also nourish Pang Yuliang's literary talent. In the 80s of the last century, it was the golden age of poetry, and he also frantically joined the ranks of writing poetry. He began to write in 1986, and soon appeared in major poetry magazines across the country, such as "Poetry Magazine" and "Star", and tasted the sweetness of manuscript fees. At that time, his monthly salary was less than 100 yuan, but he once received a wire transfer bill of 195 yuan, and his colleagues at the school were stunned. It has only been 3 years since he first wrote a poem and received a manuscript fee of 8 yuan. He wanted to tell his father, who was paralyzed by a stroke at the time, that although the little man could not do farm work, he could really support himself by writing. He eventually swallowed the words back into his stomach, and when he grew up, he no longer wanted to fight against his father.
After 10 years of writing poetry, he realized that he had hit a bottleneck and began to work hard to transform and break through. Hei Tao, who was also a poet at the time, witnessed this process: "I was amazed by the changes in his poetry writing, which were broad, complex, and painful, both in terms of the expansion of the subject matter and the depth of human nature that he explored. ”
On Christmas Eve, December 24, 1998, Pang Yuliang, who did not have a phone at home, went to the neighbor's house next door to answer a long-distance call, and a man's voice came from the receiver, "Congratulations on winning the main prize of the 7th Rougang Poetry Award...... "The Rougang Poetry Award was a very influential poetry award among the people at that time, and only one was awarded a year. Faced with a huge prize of 5,000 yuan, Pang Yuliang was excited again, "That is the most impressive award in my life." ”
In 2000, he soon published a group of poems "Ideal Life" in "Flower City", ushering in the peak moment of his poetry writing. This group of poems entered the first place in the poetry list of that year's literary list. "Poetry Magazine" also quickly reprinted this group of poems, and sent him an invitation to the 18th Youth Poetry Conference.
In 2002, Pang Yuliang, Hei Tao and Hu Xian went to the appointment together as representatives of Jiangsu. He and Hei Tao returned early, "wandering on the streets below Xie Hao's house where Li Baideng came." Talking, or silent, we are like two blind streams with secrets on the rivers and lakes. Many years later, Hei Tao recorded this past in Pang Yuliang's impression of "The Huge Light of My Light".
Although Pang Yuliang's parents are illiterate, there is no shortage of nobles to help him on the road to literature. Sun Xinchen, one of his literary brothers, has long recommended book lists for him, "There are two books that have changed my literary taste, one is Wei An's "Things on the Earth", which has taught me how to adjust the focus of my life. There is also Mr. Fan Yong, whose "I Love Mu Yuan" taught me how to love and how to trace the clearest source in life. To this day, Pang Yuliang still can't forget the two books that Sun Xinchen sent him back then, while another literary brother, Bi Feiyu, a middle school alumnus, often helps him analyze the texts and guide him on how to write better and go further......
In 1998, Pang Yuliang wrote his first short story "Chase" on the reverse side of the test paper in an invigilated class, and his literary talent began to overflow outside of poetry. This is the first shift in focus for Kim, who has gone from poetry to fiction at a faster pace than he imagined. 10,000 words is a short story, Pang Yuliang was able to write one in one night, write it until the end of dawn, and then rush to teach the children. "Write one and send one post, no one is wasted. ”
In addition to poetry and novels, Pang Yuliang also has a pen for writing fairy tales. At the age of 24, he won the fairy tale "Golden Wing Award". To this day, he has not given up the creation of fairy tales. He thinks he has a childlike heart, "The main thing is that he hasn't grown up." I probably don't want to grow up, I can't grow up, and when I grow up, I won't be like me. "He told me that in 2024 he will also publish a collection of fairy tales. "I myself feel that my fairy tale is perfect and has no regrets. And my prose, novels, and poems still have regrets. In his opinion, writing without regrets means being able to express everything you want to express vividly.
In the 15 years he has been a rural teacher, Pang Yuliang has been training in writing every day. "The 10,000-hour rule is absolutely true for a person working in an industry. If you don't write for 10,000 hours, you don't know how big your universe is and where your warp and weft are!"
On the eve of leaving the village school and transferring to Jingjiang, Sun Xinchen witnessed Pang Yuliang's inner hesitation and reluctance, and gave him the line from Ibsen: "Maya, do you hear the silence?"
From left: Sun Xinchen, Pang Yuliang, Hei Tao (Southern People Weekly reporter Xie Xiao/photo)
From teaching notes to the Lu Xun Literature Award
Since the age of 40, Pang Yuliang's literary creation has slowly undergone a second shift in focus - the writing of the "Little Mister" trilogy of prose collections. Poetry is still my favorite, but my strength is still not enough. ”
In 2000, Pang Yuliang began to publish a series of essays in the supplement of the Yangtze Evening News based on his teaching experience in rural schools, which caused a great response, so he thought of sorting out and publishing. But with the 560,000 words of material accumulated in the past 15 years, how easy is it to sort it out? Pang Yuliang realized from the beginning that these materials were just teaching notes, and they were still far from being published. He spent another 15 years literalizing the original teaching notes, blurring the names of specific people and classes, and carefully cutting the story to 120,000 words.
But such a rural teacher's subject has never encountered a good publishing opportunity. Sun Xinchen firmly encouraged Pang Yuliang at that time, "With my vision as an editor for many years, your book will definitely be published!" In 2021, the manuscript that has been polished for many years was selected by the People's Literature Publishing House, and "Little Mister" has changed its fate since then. At the moment when the work that he had devoted 30 years of hard work was published, Pang Yuliang shouted in his heart: "The thing I value most has finally been recognized." ”
Pang Yuliang (left) and his middle school classmate Jin Wei (Southern People Weekly reporter Xie Xiao/photo)
"Little Mister" quickly gained media attention after its publication. When he submitted the Lu Xun Literature Award, Pang Yuliang was 55 years old and his writing entered its 36th year. A friend suggested to him twice, should he submit the widely spread "Half Father is in Pain"? He did not hesitate for a second, "No, let's report "Little Mister". He hoped for a miracle and felt that he was far from the award. "I really don't have much hope, I'm a writer in a small county, so far away from Beijing, those judges may not have heard of me......"
On August 25, 2022, the morning of the announcement of the Lu Xun Literature Award, Pang Yuliang was at a work meeting. Suddenly received a strange call, "Hello, I am a reporter from Nanjing's "Modern Express", how do you feel about winning the Lu Award?" Pang Yuliang was stunned, he felt like he was in a dream.
At noon that day, he went home and silently made a boiled egg, "This is the reward my mother gives me every birthday." When he was 18 years old, he wrote a letter to his family after becoming a young gentleman, saying that his dream was to be a writer, and the family laughed back and forth. "Actually, when I fell in love with this profession, I knew I could be a writer. When he was 12 years old, Pang Yuliang hid in the haystack and watched "Song of Youth" secretly, and he was already silently dreaming in his heart: I want to go from this poor and hungry place to a distant place!
After the success of "Little Mister", Pang Yuliang did not expect to release the second and third parts immediately—he was originally conceiving a novel. In the spring of 2022, the small city of Jingjiang also suffered a severe new crown epidemic. His wife went to Nanjing to take care of her pregnant daughter, and he was home alone, "I had nothing to do, I really wanted to write a book, but that novel didn't match the mood at the time, so I decided to go back to the past." That's when I thought of "Little Bugs", which I had written and lost. When Pang Yuliang wrote "The Wings of the Green Thorn Moth", he thought that the little insects in his childhood might write a book, but he didn't expect the opportunity to come a few years later. He listed the names of the little bugs one by one, and actually listed nearly 80 species. In the end, there were 40 of them written into the book, "I grew up dealing with bugs, and I was so lonely at that time. ”
Pang Yuliang printed out two copies of his poems and sent one to Sun Xinchen (Southern People Weekly reporter Xie Xiao/picture)
During the epidemic, it was rare for no one to disturb him, and he completed the first draft of "Little Bug", the second book of the "Little Mister" trilogy, in three months. "It's so nice to go back to your childhood. But after he finished writing, he vaguely felt that something was wrong, a man in his fifties, writing a story when he was 5 years old, "It's a bit pretentious to use the first person!" One day while walking in the evening, he suddenly had an idea, "Why not use the third person?" After writing "Little Bugs", it can be regarded as a milestone in my creative history, opening up myself. ”
Poetry, fairy tales, novels and prose, Pang Yuliang has dabbled in them. But Sun Xinchen believes that his highest literary achievement now has to be prose, "Writing poetry was his initial literary training, including later writing novels, and when he switched to the battlefield of prose, in his own words, he carried a secret weapon." ”
Thirty years ago, on the banks of the Xiangjiang River, the young Pang Yuliang once told Hei Tao that he had a literary ideal for a long novel. The "Little Mister" trilogy helped him complete the prose conquer in stages, and after that, will he go back to realize the dream of a novel 30 years ago?" I have always said that if a writer writes what he wants to write, he must write it, and this is the greatest happiness in the world. ”
Reporter Xie Xiao of Southern People Weekly
Editor-in-charge: Zhou Jianping