Today is my little girl's 9th birthday, thinking of the hard days 9 years ago, I can't help but burst into tears, my girl has grown up a year old! It's good, I have survived another year
My youngest daughter came to this world because of an unexpected pregnancy, and I helped people make down jackets in Shuangliu in Chengdu that year, and I didn't know there was one when I went out. After working there for more than half a month, I found that my old friend didn't visit, and I didn't take it seriously, because I sometimes had to delay it for three to five days.
After waiting for more than ten days, my old friend still didn't come, I couldn't sit still, I went to the pharmacy to buy the early pregnancy test strip, and I was stunned when I looked at the two conspicuous red bars on the test strip.
When I came back to my senses, I quickly called my husband at home and told him that he still didn't believe that he had just been recruited a few times? I said then what do you say should I do now? He said that life is just a little better, and it will be a lot of burden to have an extra child, so we still don't want this child!
He's just a slacker who doesn't want to make progress, not to mention two children, he can't afford to raise one of them, so he doesn't want to have another one anyway. From that day on, he called me every day to go back for an abortion, and pretended to care about me, saying that the younger the child, the less the adult would suffer.
A few days later, I returned home from Shuangliu and was accompanied by him to the hospital. After a series of tests, the doctor said that the child was healthy and asked me if I was sure I wanted to get rid of him? At that moment, I felt my stomach and hesitated, and I called a few of my close friends to hear what they had to say.
One joked and said that if you don't want to raise it after giving birth, you will raise it for me! The other two mean the same thing, saying that my first child is a daughter, and it doesn't matter what happens to the second child, it is good to have a son, and it is better to have a daughter and sisters to have a companion. Anyway, adults will live for a day, children will also live for a day, and they will grow up after hard work, and when we are old, if something happens, the two sisters can still have a discussion.
After listening to their words, I decided to keep the baby, and under the complaining gaze of my husband, I walked out of the hospital firmly. After resting at home for two days, I went to Shuangliu to make clothes again.
The little girl knew that her life was escaped, and she also knew that it was not easy for her mother, and she didn't toss me much during the whole pregnancy, and we started a love affair in this life in an accident
may know that I escaped with this life, and my daughter is very special in my belly, and she didn't toss me at all. Unlike when I was pregnant with my eldest daughter, I vomited so much that I even vomited yellow bile, I thought that the reaction to pregnancy was different, and I thought it was a son.
In the leap month of that year, I worked outside for nearly five months, and business was good and bad. In order to save the fare, I never went back after I went back that time, except for doing Siwei and Tang Sieve once.
Although it is not very far away, it costs more than 100 yuan to go back and forth, and I want to save this money to buy something for my child. The eldest daughter missed me and called me and asked, "Mom, when are you going home?" I said, "Daughter, you should listen to your grandparents at home, and when your kindergarten is over, your mother will come back." ”
On the day of the kindergarten holiday, she called me again: "Mom, our kindergarten is on vacation, why haven't you come back yet?" At that moment, my tears burst out of my eyes, and I really wanted to buy a ticket to go back to her immediately, hug her, kiss her. But business was very good during that time, and I really couldn't get out of it, so I could only tell her that my mother was making money and would be back soon, and I would come back to buy you a lot of delicious food.
The day after I finished the work, I bought a ticket and returned home, and finally saw the daughter I had been thinking about all day. I earned more than 17,000 yuan with a big belly, and at that time my yard was still dirt, and I made the yard and the road outside into concrete floors, which cost almost 10,000 yuan. I don't dare to use the rest of the money indiscriminately, I have to save it for childbirth, and I usually have a lot of expenses for prenatal checkups.
I'm not afraid of everyone's jokes when I say it, the family is poor, I buy the cheapest fruit to eat when I'm pregnant with a child, and sometimes I'm really greedy, so I gnaw on a radish or sweet potato that doesn't cost money. Watching people pull carts of dazzling fruits, my eyes were green, and I felt like I could eat a large cart.
I have to do a prenatal check-up at least two or three hundred, except for the most expensive and main four-dimensional and Tang sieve when I was more than four months old, I can delay it at other times, trying to save a little money.
When the doctor asked me to go once a month, I waited for more than 40 days, when I asked me to go once every half a month, I went for more than 20 days, and in the final stage, I had to go for a check-up once a week, and I had to go for more than 10 days. In this way, I saved more than 1,000 yuan by at least three or four fewer prenatal checkups, and people who are poor really want to save any money, regardless of whether they should save or not.
My husband is still as lazy as ever, he only earned 3,000 yuan before giving birth to a child after the New Year, thinking that the children who are wet everywhere in the yard are not good to play when it rains, so he should build a color steel shed. I talked to the other people that I had to delay the lack of money for a few months for the time being, and the other party readily agreed, and the money was not returned until the child was born, the banquet was held, and the gift money was received.
Spring returns to the earth, everything recovers, and my family's tea leaves have also sprouted. I still dragged my stomach to climb the mountain to pick tea, and the villagers were worried about me when they saw it, and they were afraid that if I fell, it would be so far and so high. I was careful with every step I took because I knew I couldn't wrestle. When my belly got bigger and bigger, my mother was the only one to pick the tea leaves on the mountain, and I only picked the ones that were a little closer to home.
Carry a stool to the ground, a flat place to sit and pick, and people are a little more relaxed. The aunt in the field next door said sympathetically: "How can you do it like this in these years, the daughter-in-law of the family next door to my house has just checked out that she is pregnant, and she plays at home every day, and she doesn't do anything every time she serves a bowl on the table and puts a bowl on the table." ”
Everyone's conditions are different, if I don't do my mother alone, the tea will be worthless on the tree. If I don't do it, will I wait for the northwest wind in the second half of the year? I still work every day, and I don't miss a day.
There is still a month before the due date in February of the lunar calendar, the weather on our side is still very warm, and it will be hot when the sun comes out.
One day, the sun was very strong, and when it was almost 11 o'clock at noon, my head was dizzy, and I told my mother that I was not feeling well and wanted to go back. My mother said that she would pick another hour at twelve o'clock before going back, so I walked back alone, the more dizzy I went, and the blackness in front of my eyes, I insisted on gritting my teeth and walking to a shady place with a bamboo forest at the edge of the field, and sat on the ridge with my hand, holding the ridge so that I did not fall.
I sat there for more than an hour, before I was a little sober, and my eyes were not black, but my feet were still weak and I couldn't stand up.
My mother came back and saw me, and said why am I still here? I said that I couldn't walk, but she struggled to help me up, and I walked for a long time before entering the house less than a kilometer away.
From that day on, when the sun was too strong, I didn't pick the tea leaves, and I only picked them on cloudy days and when it was cool in the morning and evening, so I worked until a week before my due date. First, it's because the tea is basically finished, and secondly, it's impossible to say if I'm born today and tomorrow, if I have a seizure in the ground, how many people will it take for me to get it back?
I felt like I was the happiest in that week, finally I could stop working and experience what it was like to sleep until I woke up naturally. There are tea leaves to sell, and you have to loosen up a little bit in your hands, and you can buy the fruits you want to buy, and you can make them casually in a few days.
Some people may want to say that a poor person like me should not have a second child at all, and not having a child is also a kind of letting go, and the child is born without money and cannot get a good education, which is equivalent to harming people's lives.
I didn't think too much about it at the time, first, I was reluctant to take it away, and secondly, my eldest girl was born in Chengdu, and my ex-husband's family said that I picked it up, and I couldn't have a child at all, so I had to willfully let his relatives see if I could give birth!
After giving birth, I couldn't eat like this, I couldn't eat like that, and I really ate and drank for a few days while there was still some time. Anyway, my first child was delivered by caesarean section, and my second child also had to be caesarean section, so I don't have to think about the fact that the child is too big to give birth.
I had already prepared the things I needed to give birth, but when the due date came, there was still no movement in my stomach, so I thought that I couldn't wait any longer, so I just took my things to a hotel near the hospital and stayed for two days. We don't have a car like people who can stay at home and wait until they have a seizure to go to the hospital.
When I arrived in the city and deposited my things in a family I knew, I went to the hospital for examination, but I didn't expect the B-ultrasound results to come out, and the doctor let me be hospitalized immediately, saying that it was not good for the fetus to have less amniotic fluid, and that surgery should be arranged as soon as possible.
I asked if there was a single room, a friend's godmother who was a doctor in this hospital helped to check, the single room was all full, only one single room patient will be discharged tomorrow, you can arrange for me to live in a double room first, and then arrange for me to live after they are discharged.
It's not that I have to live in a single room, maybe there are few people in the world who are poorer than me. I've seen that compared to a multi-person room, it's only twenty or thirty dollars a day, and I can accept this price. The advantage of a single room is not only that it has its own privacy, but also that it is less troublesome.
After the operation, the doctor had to observe the wound every day for some examinations, and there was only a curtain in the middle of the crowded ward. If you live in the innermost bed, it's fine, but if you have other beds, it will be embarrassing if the family members of other beds pass by while you are checking it.
Not to mention, if several people live in the same room, it is inevitable that they will compare what the mother eats, and if others eat too well and I eat too badly, then don't I throw my face in the hospital? I live alone in one room, even if I don't eat anything at every meal, I just open my mouth and drink two sips of the northwest wind, and no one will see my miserable appearance, right? Really, that's what I thought at the time!
Some people may say, why don't people live in a single room if they are richer than me? That single room is really not something that can be lived in if you have money. There are only a few single rooms in the obstetrics and gynecology department, and unless you are lucky enough and no one has a baby with you around the same time, it will be full at any time.
A poor man like me doesn't care about the twenty or thirty dollars, and the rich don't care. I was stained with the light of a friend, and her godmother managed to secure a single room for me without violating the rules of the hospital.
My surgery was scheduled for the next morning, and the doctor told me that I couldn't eat anything after dinner the previous day, and I couldn't even drink water.
Many relatives and friends of the family I lived with temporarily that night came to see the newborn, and the noise did not disperse until almost eleven o'clock, and I was hungry at that time, and it was not easy to find something to eat in the middle of the night, so I was so confused until dawn.
Originally, I was supposed to operate after the doctor went to work, but there was a woman who had a problem and couldn't give birth, so she was urgently transferred to the operating room for a caesarean section, so she could only leave me dry first, because I was not in a hurry. I'm not in a hurry, but I'm hungry! I'm so hungry that I can't stop retching with my chest against my back, and I can only spit out some sour water, and I can't eat anything for the sake of my life.
By the time I entered the operating room, it was past eleven o'clock, and the old rule was to inject anesthetic from the spine like boiled shrimp on the narrow operating table, and the doctor asked me if I wanted to carry an analgesic pump, if I wanted to pay a few hundred extra dollars.
I thought that when I gave birth to my eldest daughter, I could only relieve the pain a little, and the money was in vain, and the money saved by not carrying the analgesic pump was only used as a supplement to the money for living in a single room. No matter how painful I am in the ward, I can't see it, so I don't feel ashamed! I really have no shame when I think about it, and I can't be ruthless when I don't have money, and I don't have any mercy at all!
After the anesthetic surgery, the pain of the wound is negligible, the pain after the uterine contraction injection is really not covered, the pain is about 1 minute every 4 minutes, the abdomen is twisted and twisted, and you can be woken up by the pain when you fall asleep.
It looked better and didn't hurt much, and the nurse pushed the cart to inject uterine contraction needles again, and I basically didn't fall asleep in pain for 48 hours after giving birth, and I was only in a daze for a while and was about to be woken up again.
Leaving the hospital and going home is the beginning of the real suffering, the young woman is black and white upside down, sleeping during the day, and at night with her eyes open and not sleeping to be held, crying as soon as she puts it down, and cries when she puts it down.
I don't know if I was kicked in the head by a donkey to have a second child with such a plagued man. Money, money won't be earned, and I don't know how distressed people are, the child is noisy at night and asks for a hug, and after holding it for ten minutes, he throws it on the bed, and he falls asleep on all fours. The child is crying there, and I only have to hold and coax myself, I really take it for myself, and I deserve it! But it's impossible to take it out and throw it away if it's already raw, right?
The confinement is eaten with little salt and tasteless things, people eat five or six meals a day in different ways, I can eat and eat only three meals as usual, I haven't even eaten a full meal, and it is good to be confused for three or four hours a day 24 hours a day. Lack of nutrition and rest, although the food pocket is not small but not loaded, the young woman can't eat at all, she doesn't eat milk powder, and crying is simply commonplace.
Some people say that milk is not good, and if you suck more, you will come, that is, you don't have back pain when you stand and talk, and how can adults produce milk without nutrition? Even if the cows and sheep have to eat the grass to their heart's content, they will have milk when they sleep well, right? The child sucked all the nipples for me, and the pain was so painful that the whole breast was swollen as hard as a stone, and it took two days to apply a hot towel to the swelling.
During that time, I was most afraid of the coming of the night, other people's nights are used to sleep and rest, and my nights are used to suffer! The child is about to be held when his eyes are open, I am sleepy, so sleepy that I can fall asleep as soon as I close my eyes.
I was afraid that I would accidentally fall asleep and fall the child, so I lifted a stool and sat on the edge of the bed on one end on my lap, and the other end took the bed quilt to borrow strength, even if I fell asleep, the child would not fall to the ground.
As a result, the child never fell to the ground, but when I fell asleep, I suddenly lowered my head and teeth and bit my tongue! I woke up from the pain and my mouth was full of blood, and I couldn't eat for days. Later, when I took the child at night, I had a chopstick in my mouth, and I separated my upper and lower teeth, so that I would not bite my tongue even if I bowed my head sharply.
I washed my own clothes for more than ten days, and when the dew dried on the day of the full moon, I used a small cart to put her in the field to pick tea, this is the life I lived, anyway, few people after 80 have experienced it.
Now I have problems with my spine and lumbar spine, I don't do any work, as long as I work, it hurts, my hands are numb, I am a machine that needs to be repaired, but I still revolve around this home every day.
But my girl is growing up day by day! I love to hear her call me mom sweetly, to rub into my arms and ask me to hug her, to kiss me gently on the cheek.
Her uncompetitive dad left us and left, and in the eyes of many people, the child was a burden and a drag on me. A man with the ability will not look for me like me, there is no shortage of women at all, and it is better not to look for someone like her father who has no ability!
So, let's stay together as a family, I don't dare to hope that there is any happiness at all, I just hope that all the hardships in this life will be borne by me, and my daughters will have a good future in the future......
Happy birthday! My girl! Mother wishes you a happy year! Or the old saying: In this life and this life, no matter the ends of the world, you are happy, your mother is happy, you are happy, your mother must be happy! #农村寡妇忆平生#