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I'm Wang Xiaoqin, and I just turned 30 this year. I was born into an ordinary family, with a seven-year-old son, Xiaobao, a one-year-old daughter, a one-year-old daughter, a paralyzed mother, and a husband who is busy with work. I have always been the breadwinner of the family, taking care of my children and mother, and juggling my own work. But things didn't go my way, and the conflicts in my family gradually intensified, which eventually led to a decision that I regretted for the rest of my life.
At the age of thirty, I felt a deep sense of anxiety and confusion. Maybe it's because age has reached a watershed, or maybe it's because the pressure on the family is increasing. My relationship with my husband Xiao Ming has also become more and more stiff, and it seems that there is a transparent wall between us. Xiao Ming is a brilliant professional who is always busy with work and has little time to spend with his family. And I, on the other hand, are the ones who silently take on the responsibilities of the family.
Every morning, I wake up early, make breakfast for the kids, drop them off at school or kindergarten, and then rush to work. In the evening, after work, I rush home, cook dinner, and take care of my mother and children. Sometimes, I barely feel my presence, as if I was just a robot serving my family. As for Xiao Ming, he is almost invisible at day or night, he always uses busy work as an excuse and rarely participates in family chores.
Our family was originally a happy family, but since my mother suddenly became paralyzed, everything has changed. I remember it was a sunny day, and I was preparing my children's lunch when my mother suddenly fell to the ground and let out a scream. I hurried over and saw my mother's face distorted with a painful expression. I was terrified and immediately called the emergency services, and the doctor told me that my mother had had a stroke and needed to be taken to the hospital immediately.
During that time, it was as if I was in a nightmare. My mother was admitted to the hospital, and Xiao Ming and I took turns taking care of her, taking care of the children and work. I became exhausted, but I couldn't stop because I knew there was still a group of people in my family who needed me to sustain me.
However, as time passed, the mother's condition did not improve, but worsened. The doctor told me that my mother's condition was worse than I had imagined and that I was afraid that she would never recover. The news came as a bolt from the blue for me, and I couldn't accept the fact that my mother would never get out of her illness.
At the same time, life at home is becoming more and more difficult. Xiao Ming's work pressure is getting more and more intense, and he has to work overtime until late almost every day to get home. I have to take care of my children, my mother, and my own work. Every day was a struggle, and I felt like I was about to be crushed.
One night, Xiao Ming and I had an argument over trivial matters. He blamed me for not taking good care of my family and said I shouldn't have put all the blame on myself. I retorted angrily, "Don't you know about my mother's illness, don't you know how hard I work?"
The children were woken up, and cries and screams filled the room. I felt a pang of despair, I couldn't stand this life, I couldn't bear the torment that every day was. I need a chance to be free, I need a chance to change.
So, I made a decision that I would regret for the rest of my life – I quit my job, gave up my career, and chose to stay home to take care of my mother and children. I thought it would get the family back on track, and I thought it would bring me back to peace of mind. However, I was so completely wrong and I was too naïve.
I quit my job and became a full-time housewife taking care of my family. In the beginning, I felt like I had put on a coat of relaxation and was finally able to get rid of the pressure of work and devote myself to my family. But soon, I realized that this life was not as good as I had imagined.
Life at home is getting heavier and heavier, and I have to deal with all kinds of problems. My mother's condition was getting worse and worse, she was almost completely incapacitated and needed my round-the-clock care. The children have also become a burden for me, and they need me to take care of their daily life, as well as deal with their emotions and needs.
I used to think that quitting my job would make me happier and make my family more harmonious. But the reality was cruel, and I became more and more lonely and anxious. I felt like I was stuck in a quagmire from which I could not extricate myself.
And the contradictions in the family are becoming more and more prominent. Xiao Ming is still busy with work and rarely goes home, let alone participates in the family. Whenever I complained to him, he always found all kinds of excuses to excuse himself, which made me feel more disappointed and hopeless.
One night, I had another argument with Xiao Ming over something about him. I blamed him for not caring about his family and only caring about his work. He thought it was a bad decision for me to quit my job and that I should be more sensible about reality.
"Don't you know about your mother's condition, don't you know how hard I've worked?" I asked angrily.
Xiao Ming was silent for a while, and then sighed: "I know you're working hard, but why don't you tell me?"
"What can you do?" I sneered, "you don't even care about the affairs of your family, so what qualifications do you have to discuss with me?"
Our quarrel grew more and more intense, and eventually it turned into a big fight. The children were woken up, and cries and screams filled the room. I felt a pang of despair, I couldn't stand this life, I couldn't bear the torment that every day was. I need a chance to be free, I need a chance to change.
So, I made a decision that I would regret for the rest of my life – I quit my job, gave up my career, and chose to stay home to take care of my mother and children. I thought it would get the family back on track, and I thought it would bring me back to peace of mind. However, I was so completely wrong and I was too naïve.
As time went on, I began to feel lonely and helpless inside. Life at home is getting heavier and heavier, and I have little time and energy to focus on my feelings and needs. Every day was a repetition of the same, and I felt as if I was trapped in an endless darkness with no way out.
I used to think that quitting my job would make me happier and make my family more harmonious. But the reality was cruel, and I became more and more lonely and anxious. I felt like I was stuck in a quagmire from which I could not extricate myself.
My mother's condition also worsened, she was almost completely incapacitated and needed my round-the-clock care. I watched her body grow weaker and weaker, and my heart was filled with endless pain and helplessness. I used to be the breadwinner of the family, but now I feel helpless and unable to change anything.
The children have also become a burden for me, and they need me to take care of their daily lives, as well as deal with their emotions and needs. I tried my best to play the role of a good mother, but my heart was filled with endless exhaustion and despair.
And Xiao Ming is still busy with work and rarely goes home, let alone participates in the family. Whenever I complained to him, he always found all kinds of excuses to excuse himself, which made me feel more disappointed and hopeless.
One night, I had another argument with Xiao Ming over something about him. I blamed him for not caring about his family and only caring about his work. He thought it was a bad decision for me to quit my job and that I should be more sensible about reality.
"Don't you know about your mother's condition, don't you know how hard I've worked?" I asked angrily.
Xiao Ming was silent for a while, and then sighed: "I know you're working hard, but why don't you tell me?"
"What can you do?" I sneered, "you don't even care about the affairs of your family, so what qualifications do you have to discuss with me?"
Our quarrel grew more and more intense, and eventually it turned into a big fight. The children were woken up, and cries and screams filled the room. I felt a pang of despair, I couldn't stand this life, I couldn't bear the torment that every day was. I need a chance to be free, I need a chance to change.
So, I made a decision that I would regret for the rest of my life – I quit my job, gave up my career, and chose to stay home to take care of my mother and children. I thought it would get the family back on track, and I thought it would bring me back to peace of mind. However, I was so completely wrong and I was too naïve.
Living at home is becoming more and more suffocating, and every day is filled with anxiety and helplessness. I felt like I was trapped in a labyrinth with no exit, unable to find a way to freedom.
My mother's condition is getting worse and worse, her body is getting weaker and weaker, and she needs my round-the-clock care. I watched her lose weight every day, and my heart was filled with endless pain and helplessness. I used to be the breadwinner of the family, but now I feel helpless and unable to change anything.
The children have also become a burden for me, and they need me to take care of their daily lives, as well as deal with their emotions and needs. I tried my best to play the role of a good mother, but my heart was filled with endless exhaustion and despair.
And Xiao Ming is still busy with work and rarely goes home, let alone participates in the family. Whenever I complained to him, he always found all kinds of excuses to excuse himself, which made me feel more disappointed and hopeless.
One night, I had another argument with Xiao Ming over something about him. I blamed him for not caring about his family and only caring about his work. He thought it was a bad decision for me to quit my job and that I should be more sensible about reality.
"Don't you know about your mother's condition, don't you know how hard I've worked?" I asked angrily.
Xiao Ming was silent for a while, and then sighed: "I know you're working hard, but why don't you tell me?"
"What can you do?" I sneered, "you don't even care about the affairs of your family, so what qualifications do you have to discuss with me?"
Our quarrel grew more and more intense, and eventually it turned into a big fight. The children were woken up, and cries and screams filled the room. I felt a pang of despair, I couldn't stand this life, I couldn't bear the torment that every day was. I need a chance to be free, I need a chance to change.
So, I made a decision that I would regret for the rest of my life – I quit my job, gave up my career, and chose to stay home to take care of my mother and children. I thought it would get the family back on track, and I thought it would bring me back to peace of mind. However, I was so completely wrong and I was too naïve.
Life at home is getting heavier and heavier, and every day seems like an endless ordeal. As her mother's condition deteriorated, her body became weaker and weaker, and she was almost completely incapacitated. I watched her lose weight every day, and my heart was filled with endless pain and helplessness. I used to be the breadwinner of the family, but now I feel helpless and unable to change anything.
The children have also become a burden for me, and they need me to take care of their daily lives, as well as deal with their emotions and needs. I tried my best to play the role of a good mother, but my heart was filled with endless exhaustion and despair.
And Xiao Ming is still busy with work and rarely goes home, let alone participates in the family. Whenever I complained to him, he always found all kinds of excuses to excuse himself, which made me feel more disappointed and hopeless.
One night, I had another argument with Xiao Ming over something about him. I blamed him for not caring about his family and only caring about his work. He thought it was a bad decision for me to quit my job and that I should be more sensible about reality.
"Don't you know about your mother's condition, don't you know how hard I've worked?" I asked angrily.
Xiao Ming was silent for a while, and then sighed: "I know you're working hard, but why don't you tell me?"
"What can you do?" I sneered, "you don't even care about the affairs of your family, so what qualifications do you have to discuss with me?"
Our quarrel grew more and more intense, and eventually it turned into a big fight. The children were woken up, and cries and screams filled the room. I felt a pang of despair, I couldn't stand this life, I couldn't bear the torment that every day was. I need a chance to be free, I need a chance to change.
So, I made a decision that I would regret for the rest of my life – I quit my job, gave up my career, and chose to stay home to take care of my mother and children. I thought it would get the family back on track, and I thought it would bring me back to peace of mind. However, I was so completely wrong and I was too naïve.
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