My name is Li Wen, I am 35 years old, and I am an ordinary housewife. I'm straightforward and stubborn at times, but I'm very considerate to my family. Ever since I gave birth to my daughter, Satsuki, I have devoted myself to my family and given my daughter the best care I can.
My husband, Zhang Wei, is two years older than me and is an ordinary employee of a small company. His personality is more introverted and cowardly, and he rarely takes the initiative to express his opinions at home, and more often he is resigned to it. However, he was still very considerate to me and my daughter. Our daughter Satsuki is 8 years old this year, she is a lively and cheerful and innocent good child, and she also has good grades in school.
As for my mother-in-law, Mrs. Zhang, that's a tricky question. She is stubborn, always thinking about things, and never considers the feelings of others. Ever since Satsuki was born, she has been dictating us to our parenting methods, which has led to us arguing a lot. But for the sake of family harmony, I have been putting up with it.
Our family of three lives are well-off, although they are not rich, but they are also passable. However, my mother-in-law often finds fault with me for unhealthy cooking, poor cleaning, etc., and I know that she is doing it for our good, but sometimes I can't help but want to refute it. Satsuki seems to have had some problems at school lately, and I'm worried about whether she's being bullied.
"Wenwen, has Xiaoyue encountered any difficulties at school recently? I think she seems to be a little depressed recently. "One day my mother-in-law asked me straight to the point while eating.
"Yes, mother-in-law, I also found out, I don't know if she was bullied by her classmates. I said with some concern.
"Then what should I do? You two go to work, and no one takes care of you during the day, so I'd better come to your house to help, and by the way, let's see what happened to Xiaoyue. The mother-in-law made up her mind as she spoke.
I knew that my mother-in-law's "help" was usually done on her own and would not listen to us at all, but I nodded anyway. Zhang Wei didn't say anything on the side, probably because he was afraid of getting into trouble.
A few days after my mother-in-law came, our family's living habits began to change. She gets up early every morning to cook, and they are all light home-cooked dishes, saying that they are for Xiaoyue's health. Xiaoyue has always been a good eater, but she can only barely eat some of the dishes made by her mother-in-law.
In addition, the mother-in-law also paid close attention to Xiaoyue's routine and did not allow her to watch TV or play games after 8 p.m., on the grounds that it would affect her studies. At first, Xiaoyue protested, but she didn't dare to refute it after being severely reprimanded by her mother-in-law.
I saw it in my eyes, and I was very unhappy in my heart, but I couldn't say anything in front of my mother-in-law, so I could only swallow my anger secretly. Zhang Wei, the guy who didn't have it, was even more obedient to everything in his mother-in-law.
Gradually, her mother-in-law's discipline of Satsuki began to become more and more strict. She thought that Xiaoyue's weight was a little overweight, so she strictly controlled her diet and reduced all the staple foods. Xiaoyue secretly reported to me a few times that she was very hungry, and her eyes were red, which made me feel so distressed to look at.
I went to my mother-in-law to theorize that children are growing their bodies and can't be on such a diet. But the mother-in-law said confidently: "Look at the slender classmates, Xiaoyue is so fat, who likes it when she grows up in the future?"
Zhang Wei couldn't interject on the side, and I was so angry that I almost started to hit someone. Satsuki also cried when she saw us arguing. The family is like this, you say a word to me, and they quarrel a lot.
In this way, under the "careful care" of her mother-in-law, Xiaoyue lost five pounds in less than a month. When I saw her tiny body and her cheeks began to sunken, I couldn't believe my eyes.
"Why did Xiaoyue lose weight like this?Mother-in-law, did you starve her?" I finally couldn't help but question my mother-in-law out loud.
"Oh, look at how slender other classmates are, Xiaoyue used to be so fat, and now it's better to be thinner. The mother-in-law said confidently.
I was trembling with anger, and Zhang Wei hurriedly came over to pull the rack when he saw this: "Mom, you have gone too far, isn't it? Xiaoyue is still growing her body, how can you be on such a diet?"
"What are you two like? I'm doing this for the good of Xiao Yue, you should thank me!" The mother-in-law is still stubborn.
I looked at Satsuki's frightened eyes, tears swirling in my eyes, and my heart was like a knife. I made up my mind to kick my mother-in-law out of my house!
Since then, I began to deliberately make things difficult for my mother-in-law, and she threw away the food I cooked if she disliked it, and I deliberately took Xiaoyue to violate the schedule she arranged. The two of us openly contradicted my mother-in-law's "educational philosophy" again and again.
My mother-in-law's temper also came up, and she began to scold Xiaoyue loudly at every turn, and a few times I saw that she wanted to hit someone. Zhang Wei watched from the sidelines, but he didn't instigate anyone, he was originally a good man.
"You old immortal, you dare to beat my daughter, get out, I don't want to see you again!" Like a lioness, I protect Satsuki fiercely.
The mother-in-law covered her face, her eyes full of shock and disbelief. Zhang Wei was also taken aback by my play, and hurriedly came up to pull the fight. Satsuki was even more frightened by my manic side, and she was trembling and shivering.
In the end, under Zhang Wei's persuasion, my mother-in-law packed her luggage and left my house in a hurry. Before leaving, she didn't forget to tell Zhang Wei: "You have to take care of your wife, she is so fierce, what will Xiaoyue do in the future!"
Zhang Wei nodded, and the right to deal with the matter should have been dealt with. As for Xiao Yue, she was obviously frightened by our behavior, and her whole person was slumped on the sofa, her eyes were a little dull.
Zhang Wei nodded, his expression a little complicated. I know that although this incident has passed, the shadow brought to us by my mother-in-law is far from being removed.
I couldn't believe my eyes. It turned out that what her mother-in-law did to Xiaoyue before was just out of her own selfish desires, and she didn't think about Xiaoyue's health and feelings at all!
I can't tolerate the thought of Satsuki being treated like this at such a young age. A crazy thought flashed through my mind: I must punish my mother-in-law well before I can let out this evil breath!
In the evening, when Zhang Wei came home, he saw my gloomy face and asked me what was wrong. I told him what I had discovered, and he was shocked and angry at first.
"How can Mom do this? How can she spoil her own granddaughter like this?" Zhang Wei muttered to himself, as if he couldn't accept this fact either.
I looked at him, and my eyes gradually became firm: "Husband, I decided to punish your mother well and let her taste the taste of being ruined!"
"Punishment, punishment, what do you want to do?" Zhang Wei was taken aback by my words.
I looked around and my eyes fell on the rice on the table. Suddenly, an idea of revenge came to my mind, and it was exactly the same as what she did to Satsuki!
I said to Zhang Wei: "Husband, from today onwards, you can only drink porridge every day!"
From that day on, I began to carry out the plan to punish my mother-in-law. Every day when I cook, I deliberately put more water in it, and make the rice very thin and thin, almost indistinguishable from porridge.
"Wife, what are you doing? Why is it so thin?" Zhang Wei always frowns when he sees food.
"It's nothing, it's just a little thinner, so it's healthier. I said as if nothing had happened.
Although Zhang Wei was puzzled, he didn't say much, after all, he rarely interfered when I was cooking. Xiao Yue was very happy to see this porridge, she has a good appetite recently, and the amount of food is much bigger than before.
In this way, Zhang Wei drank the pot of thin rice I made every day. At first he could barely drink it, but then he began to become more and more reluctant. A few times, I deliberately acted angry in front of him, and he could only force himself to finish the meal.
"Wife, what's wrong with you? Once Zhang Wei finally couldn't help but ask me.
I put on a straight face and said in a stern tone: "Aren't you angry at all at all about what your mother did to Xiaoyue? I'm also punishing her and letting her taste the taste of being ruined!"
Zhang Wei was speechless by me for a while, so he could only obediently drink the bowl of light and thin rice soup.
In this way, Zhang Wei drank the pot of porridge I made every day. At first, he didn't really pay much attention to it, but gradually, some problems began to appear in his body.
Once, I accidentally saw him weighing himself, and it turned out that he had actually lost five or six pounds! When Zhang Wei saw the number, he was stunned, and it took a while for him to come back to his senses.
"Wife, are you deliberately trying to make me lose weight?" Zhang Wei finally opened his mouth to question me.
I pretended to be innocent and said, "How so? "
"Then why is the food you cook so thin? Even Xiao Yue said it was too light!" Zhang Wei's tone began to be a little stiff.
I looked at him like this and knew that he had probably guessed something, so I told him the truth directly: "Yes, I just deliberately made you lose weight! I saw all the things your mother did to Xiaoyue." She deliberately controlled her diet in order to make Xiaoyue lose weight, do you think she did too much?"
The expression on Zhang Wei's face instantly turned from doubt to shock, and then to guilt: "I—why didn't I find out? Mom, how could she treat Xiaoyue like this? I'm so useless, I ......"
I looked at his self-blame, and I couldn't put it into words. Yes, my mother-in-law did something wrong, but Zhang Wei didn't fulfill the responsibility of a father, each of us is at fault, but the degree of fault is different.
After this incident, our family completely untied the knot, and the conflict was gradually eliminated. Although her mother-in-law did something wrong, her original intention was also for the good of Xiaoyue, but the way was too simple and rude. And although Zhang Wei was too resigned, he didn't really hurt Xiaoyue.
Satsuki quickly came out of that trauma, and she recovered well both physically and mentally. It was very gratifying to see her as lively and lovely as ever. The atmosphere at home has finally lost the tension that it had before, and everyone has learned to understand and tolerate each other.
Even my mother-in-law, although she did not apologize to us in person, her attitude has changed significantly. Once, she took the initiative to invite our family to a restaurant for dinner, and during the banquet, she also praised Xiaoyue for being more beautiful recently. This is already a valuable progress for her.
After this incident, I also began to reflect on my past education methods. Although I have always been very fond of Satsuki, sometimes I am influenced by the concept of the outside world, thinking that children must be this and that to be considered standard. And the reason why the mother-in-law would do such an extreme thing is also out of a similar idea.
I began to realize that each child is an individual, and that their growth trajectory cannot be judged by any so-called "standard". As parents, we should respect the uniqueness of our children and guide them with tolerance and patience, rather than rigidly asking them to change themselves.
Zhang Wei and his mother-in-law seem to have had a similar epiphany after this incident. Once, my mother-in-law said a rare sentence to me: "Wenwen, I still appreciate Xiaoyue's education method. Children are naturally curious and lively, and too many of us adults are using our own thinking to restrain them. "
I nodded, relieved. Yes, each of us is still learning how to be a good parent.
In this way, after a tortuous process, our family finally established a new way of getting along. I learned to be more tolerant and patient, and Zhang Wei slowly began to take the initiative to express his thoughts at home. As for her mother-in-law, although her stubborn personality still exists, her love for Satsuki is sincere, and we have all learned to tolerate each other.
Satsuki also seems to realize something, she is starting to be more independent, and many things can be handled by herself. Occasionally, her mother-in-law would dictate her life, but Satsuki had learned to refute in moderation and maintain her principles.
Once, Satsuki said to me, "Mom, I finally know now that body is not everything. Everyone is unique, and we need to learn to love ourselves and not be bound by other people's opinions. "
I was deeply touched by her words. Yes, we have been through so much as a family, and in the end, we have learned to truly love and tolerate each other. This is the most valuable asset of a happy family.
As Xiaoyue grew up, there was also a generation gap between our mother and daughter. She began to have her own circle and friends, and some things were no longer willing to be told as she used to.
"Satsuki, what is this? Have you been in any trouble lately?" I took the notes and asked her seriously.
As soon as Satsuki saw those notes, her face changed instantly. She said a little nervously: "No, it's nothing, Mom, don't worry about it." "
"How can it be nothing? If you have any difficulties, just tell your mother, don't hide it. "I insisted that she be honest.
Xiao Yue looked at my posture and knew that I really cared about her, so she muttered in a low voice: "It's just a small note passed between classmates, nothing big." "
I breathed a sigh of relief, but I still felt a little uneasy. Satsuki no longer reveals her heart to me as unreservedly as she used to, and there seems to be some estrangement between us.
In the evening, I told Zhang Wei about it, hoping to get some support and advice from him.
"Husband, do you think Xiaoyue has something unspeakable lately? I always feel that she is a little estranged from us. I said to Zhang Wei.
Zhang Wei frowned, thought for a while and said, "Yes, girls will have their own little secrets when they reach a certain age." But you don't have to worry too much, it's just a normal process. "
"So what do you think we're going to do? Do you want to force her to tell the truth?" I asked a little anxiously.
Zhang Wei smiled and shook his head: "It won't work in a strong way, it will only make her more closed." Why don't we let go for a while, give her some independent space, and when she feels that she can trust us, she will naturally take the initiative to confide in us. "
I thought about it and felt that Zhang Wei made a lot of sense. Yes, Satsuki is no longer a child, we have to learn to respect her instead of demanding her stiffly.
"Okay, then do as you say. But I'll still care about her from time to time. I said.
Zhang Wei nodded, as if he was still very relieved by my words.
For the next period of time, I deliberately didn't interfere too much in Satsuki's private affairs, and only occasionally greeted a few words. Satsuki also seemed to feel this change in me, and her attitude towards us was a little closer.
Until one day, Satsuki took the initiative to come to talk to me. I was watching TV in the living room that day, and Satsuki suddenly sat down next to me, looking a little nervous.
"Mom, I've been struggling with something lately, can you give me some advice?" She pondered for a long time, and finally spoke.
"They always say I'm a 'big man', a 'giant' or something like that, and that no one will like me when I grow up......," Satsuki said this, and her eyes were a little red.
As soon as I heard this, I immediately remembered what my mother-in-law did to Xiaoyue back then. It seems that those meaningless judgments from the outside world are still bothering Xiao Yue.
I quickly took Satsuki into my arms and comforted her, saying, "Don't mind those people's words too much, everyone is a unique individual, and no one is qualified to judge you whether you are right or wrong." You have to learn to love yourself and affirm yourself, which is the most important thing. "
Satsuki seemed to be moved by my words, nodded, and her eyes regained some light. In my eyes, I only feel that my daughter has really grown up, and she has finally begun to know how to face all kinds of difficulties in life independently.
Since then, Satsuki's personality seems to have undergone some subtle changes. She began to feel more confident and no longer cared as much about other people's eyes as she used to.
In the past, Satsuki might have been hurt by this kind of joke, but this time she replied calmly: "What's the matter, I like myself like this." If I am looking for a partner in the future, of course, I will also find someone who can tolerate and appreciate me. "
When I heard this, I couldn't help but be shocked by Satsuki's maturity. Yes, she is no longer the little girl who is easily shaken by others' judgment, she has learned how to truly love herself and affirm herself.
I am glad that my family has gone through all kinds of hardships and eventually learned to be tolerant and tolerant. Xiaoyue's independent self-confidence today is also thanks to our guidance and enlightenment. I am very proud and gratified to see her grow up like this.
At this moment, Satsuki suddenly turned her head and winked at me, as if she had discovered my presence. I smiled at her knowingly, and silently praised her in my heart.
In this way, our family finally untied the knot completely, and everyone found their own independent and confident direction in life. The mother-in-law's incident has been completely relieved by us, and it has been replaced by more mutual understanding and tolerance.