Hey, sex thing!
I, an ordinary young man named Zhang Hao, grew up in a traditional family. The atmosphere in the home is always serious and solemn, and the words of the parents are always full of emphasis on etiquette and morality. The topic of sex is almost never mentioned at home, as if it were a mysterious forbidden area that, if touched, would cause a storm in the family.
On the university campus, I chose to major in computer science and immersed myself in the world of code and algorithms every day. The relationship with my roommates is mostly around games, studies, and relationships, and it always seems that I keep a certain distance from me.
However, life is always full of surprises. By chance, I met her - Chen Ting. She is like the warm sun in spring, illuminating my otherwise ordinary life. She had a bright smile and a unique charm in her eyes that I couldn't resist.
We started to have frequent contact, going to class, eating, and walking together. As time went on, I found myself feeling deeper and deeper for her. However, whenever I think about my family's teachings and my unknown and fearful sexuality, I hesitate to express my feelings easily.
Chen Ting seemed to be aware of my feelings for her, but she didn't mention it directly. In this way, we maintain a delicate balance in our relationship, as if whoever breaks that balance first will trigger an unpredictable change.
Graduation season has added a touch of urgency to our relationship. Faced with the pressure of employment and the uncertainty of the future, I began to worry that our relationship would drift apart as a result. So, one night, I plucked up the courage and asked Chen Ting to go to the school garden.
The lights in the garden are soft and dim, and the air is filled with the faint scent of flowers. I rubbed my hands nervously, trying to calm the excitement and uneasiness inside. Chen Ting looked at me with curiosity shining in her eyes.
"Chen Ting, I ......" I took a deep breath and finally said the words that had been hidden in my heart for a long time, "I like you, I like you very much." ”
Chen Ting didn't seem surprised, she looked at me with a smile, a gentle light flashing in her eyes. "Zhang Hao, I like you too. Her voice was soft and firm, as if it had drawn a beautiful footnote to our feelings.
However, good love always needs to be tested. Our romance was not blessed by our families. When my parents learned about our relationship, they were adamantly opposed to us being together. They felt that Chen Ting was not a good match for me and could not give me a stable future.
Although Chen Ting's family did not directly oppose it like my family, they were not optimistic about our relationship. They hope that Chen Ting can find a more promising boyfriend and live a better life.
We are caught in a dilemma. On the one hand, we love each other deeply and don't want to give up this relationship, and on the other hand, we don't want to hurt the hearts of our families. We started trying to find a balance, but each time it ended in failure.
During that time, we had a miserable time. We often quarrel over family matters, but we are reluctant to break up. Our relationship became more and more strained, as if it could collapse at any moment.
Until one day, we had a fierce quarrel again over a family matter. I lost control of my emotions and said a lot of hurtful things. After Chen Ting listened, she silently shed tears. She looked at me with disappointment and pain in her eyes.
"Zhang Hao, let's break up. She said so calmly, as if she had already made a decision.
I was stunned, and the pain and remorse in my heart came flooding back. I tried to get her back, but she had already turned away, leaving only a determined back.
After the breakup, I fell into deep self-blame and remorse. I began to reflect on my actions and realized that I was too impulsive and naïve in dealing with emotional issues. I regret that I didn't cherish the time I spent with Chen Ting, and I regret that I didn't work hard for our love.
However, everything is irretrievable. Chen Ting has left my life, leaving only endless thoughts and regrets.
During that time, I lived a mess, as if I had lost the direction of my life. I began to numb myself with work, trying to forget the pain of the past with busyness. However, in the dead of night, I always think of the bits and pieces I spent with Chen Ting, and those warm pictures and sweet memories seem to be right in front of me.
Until one day, I met Chen Ting again by chance. She looks more mature and confident than before, with a happy smile on her face. We looked at each other and smiled, as if all the grievances had vanished at this moment.
We talked a lot, about the past, about our current life and our plans for the future. I found myself able to face the relationship in peace, no longer as tangled and painful as I used to be.
When saying goodbye, Chen Ting gently hugged me. "Zhang Hao, thank you for the good memories you once gave me. She said so sincerely, as if we had gone back to the beginning.
I smiled and responded to her: "Chen Ting, thank you too, for letting me learn how to face my past." ”
We turned and walked away, each moving towards our own future. I know that while we can't go back in time, we've found our own happiness and growth.
Looking back, I sighed deeply: Hey, sex is a thing! It used to make me miserable, tangled, and even lost a loved one. But now I understand that it is not the whole of life, nor is it the only factor that determines our happiness. What matters is how we face it, understand it, and learn and grow from it. Only in this way can we truly have our own happiness and a bright future.