As the Spring Festival approached, I returned to my long-lost rural hometown. The familiar fields, small bridges and flowing water, and the smoke curling from the cooking, everything is so kind.
However, this return home made me see some changes in the countryside, especially the phenomenon of ceremonies, which made me deeply sad.
I remember when I was a child, the banquets in the countryside were not as frequent as they are now, but every time I was a happy gathering of relatives and friends.
At that time, the gift was just a way to express one's heart, and the gift money was not much, and everyone could accept it happily. But now, this simple custom seems to have been eroded by money and profit.
First, the weight of gift money is unbearable
In today's rural banquets, the gift money is often hundreds or thousands, which is undoubtedly a big burden for ordinary villagers. Some people have to borrow money from friends and relatives in order to give gifts.
And some people have to go into debt in order to repay the gifts. This kind of atmosphere not only puts people under tremendous economic pressure, but also makes family and friendship indifferent and utilitarian.
Second, the human affection is weak, and the world is hot and cold
As the amount of money continues to rise, the feelings between people seem to become weaker and weaker. Some people have to travel far and wide to accompany the ceremony, but they are unable to attend other family and friends' banquets due to time conflicts.
This kind of weak human affection makes people feel that the world is cold. Relatives and friends who were supposed to help and care for each other have now become estranged because of the courtesy.
Third, the wind of comparison makes people anxious
In rural banquets, the trend of comparison is becoming more and more serious. In order to show off their financial strength, some people deliberately increase the gift money.
And some people have to follow the crowd in order not to be looked down upon. This style of comparison not only makes people lose the original intention of the ceremony, but also makes people anxious and uneasy.
Fourth, etiquette becomes a burden, which goes against the essence of interpersonal communication
Sui Li was originally a way to express one's heart, and it was a kind of etiquette in interpersonal communication. Nowadays, however, it has become a burden for people.
Some people borrow money from place to place in order to pay the gift, and some people go into debt in order to repay the gift. This ethos places heavy financial pressure and mental burdens on people, contrary to the nature of interpersonal interactions.
In addition to the emotion, I can't help but wonder: what causes this phenomenon to happen? I think there are several reasons:
First, the imbalance of social and economic development has led to the widening of the gap between the rich and the poor, which makes some people deliberately increase the gift money in order to show off their economic strength.
Second, the lack of traditional culture makes people lose the original intention and meaning of the ceremony, making the ceremony gradually reduced to a form and a tool for comparison.
Third, the influence of some bad habits makes people gradually lose their reverence for human feelings, making the gift a burden and pressure.
How do we deal with these problems? I think we should start with the following aspects:
1. Strengthen the education of traditional culture, so that people can re-understand the original intention and meaning of the ceremony.
Second, establish a sound social security system to narrow the gap between the rich and the poor, so that people will no longer bear tremendous economic pressure for the sake of courtesy.
3. Advocate healthy social etiquette to avoid the spread of comparison and bad habits.
Finally, I would like to say that the ritual was originally a beautiful custom, a kind of etiquette in interpersonal communication. However, now it is eroded by money and interests, which makes people feel the sadness of human nature. I hope we can return to our original intention and let Suili regain its due brilliance.