8-16 year old children procrastinate and are not self-disciplined, introductive and unconfident, want to do but do not execute, and have no motivation to cope with learning...... If you want to "cure the roots", the root is in the internal drive and mental energy (click)!
I am an internal drive coach, the main creator of the "five senses internal drive" method, the biggest feature is "landing", eliminating the common problem of "knowing but not doing", so that children are self-disciplined and self-confident. Numerous Parents Testimony Effective!(Acquisition: Nurturing Program)
Parents have worked hard for more than ten years, but they have raised a familiar stranger, this is our sorrow, why are children not afraid of you when they grow up, they don't listen to you, and they will confront you what you say? In fact, it is because you have no prestige!
As long as the child does not have you in his heart, you can't teach it well. You see, many young people are messy now, and they dare to do anything, just because they don't have parents in their hearts, and they are not afraid that you will be sad or sad.
Today I will talk about a method to let children have a conscience and parents have authority, three steps.
First of all, why do parents have no authority?
The reasons are often twofold.
One aspect is how angry you are, you are angry and angry all day long, and the child has developed immunity, and he is used to it, and he is not afraid of you.
On the other hand, you don't believe what you say, you are nagging and preachy and reasonable all day long, and the child has become immune to your words and doesn't want to listen to them.
So if I don't want to hear it, I'm not afraid of you, that is, I have no prestige. If you are angry and unbelieving, you will not believe in your words, and together you will have no prestige.
So how do you do it?
When a child makes a mistake, it is not to blame his mistake and ask him to correct it, this kind of error correction education is no longer possible, and countless parents have failed to verify it.
It must be remembered that if a child makes a mistake, the most important thing is not to be angry and threatened, and to believe in few words, which is divided into 3 steps.
The first step is to delay the processing and gaze majestically
If the child makes a mistake, if the parent just blindly accuses, scolds, and suppresses it by force, it must bring the child's emotional backlog and resistance to the outburst, right?
Don't blame him right away, don't point out the mistake right away, don't punish him right away, my first thing to do is to look at the child majestically for 10 seconds with an angry face.
These 10 seconds are called "death gaze", which will make the child's heart weak, and he will start to reflect, Dad is angry, I was wrong, what did I do wrong, what should I do? Remember to be angry, not to believe, never to be angry, never to nag.
The second step is to express my feelings
Then say to the child, "I'm angry that you just did that, I'm very uncomfortable."
Let him feel my feelings, so that the child will know that the father's feelings are not good, and he wants to change, this is the internal drive.
Some parents feel that it is useless to express their feelings, and feel that this kind of talk is empty and dispensable...... And that's just because you're too rational or you've never experienced it! In fact, I'm going to tell you that a lot of times, you can't say ten words of truth as well as you say one word that expresses your feelings.
The third step is to send out an invitation
Finally, tell your child, "What will you do next time?" or "Can you not do this next time?"
The essence of sending an invitation is to accept the child's current behavior and give the child a correct direction to move forward.
And if he makes a change, we have to give him a round of applause and thank him for making the change. When we give timely praise and affirmation to the changes he has made, the child will naturally think "I want to continue to do the right thing and continue to get applause", which is the internal motivation.
Okay, now that you've talked about the three steps, you can think of the first step as "not angry and mighty", and the second and third steps as "believe in the words".
These eight words look ordinary, but don't underestimate it, in fact, it embodies both strictness, but also expresses softness, both acceptance, and guidance, is a wise nutrition communication method, although it looks simple, but it is not easy to do it when you really want to land.
For more ways to implement internal motivation, please read the following article to help you "educate the landing" and "do" (not just "know")
[These 2 must-read]
1. Three steps to cultivate internal drive, I am a "person who has come over": After contacting more than 2,000 children, I have summed up a set of methods to ensure that the children's internal drive is improved!
2. "Five Senses Internal Drive" Landing Solution: I use the "Five Senses" method to help you solve the problem of internal drive, so that children are self-disciplined and motivated
/ END /
Original | A little teacher
Internal Motivation Consultant, Healthy Heart Coach. Love to see the essence, like to talk about the system, and strive for practical results. Follow and practice together.